True Love Waits
by RottenLemonz
Summary: In High School, Edward told a lie that broke Bella's heart. Now she's about to marry another man. All EPOV, rated M for language and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

Rated M for language and eventual lemons.

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**A/N: Welcome to my baby, True Love Waits. This story starts out slow, so bare with me. You won't find out what the big LIE was until chapter 10 or 11, so I'm warning you now to be patient. :) The first chapter is kind of short, but sweet. And for the record, I believe in HEA. Hope that helps to ease any anxiety about this story. ;) See you at the bottom.**

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_**"I'm not living**_

_**I'm just killing time**_

_**Your tiny hands**_

_**And crazy kitten smile**_

_**Just don't leave….don't leave**_

_**And true love waits**_

_**In haunted attics**_

_**And true love lives**_

_**On lollipops and crisps**_

_**Just don't leave….don't leave**_

_**Don't leave…don't leave"**_

~ True Love Waits, Radiohead

**Prologue**

_God, how could I have been so fucking stupid? All the time I wasted. And now look at what's happened. Edward Cullen, you are fucking idiot. King of the goddam idiots._

I stood there in the women's dressing room of the chapel hidden somewhere deep inside the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas, watching Bella check her makeup in the huge mirror one last time.

She wore a long white sleeveless strappy dress that hugged her every curve. I think Alice said it was a Mermaid style gown or something like that. Her long mahogany hair was curled and flowing down the backless dress, but pulled to one side with a purple flower securing it there at the side of her head.

Of course it would be purple. That's Bella's favorite color.

"Edward? Can you stop staring at me? You're making me even more nervous," Bella said, as she looked in the mirror again and touched her finger tip to her bottom lip to wipe off some lipstick that Alice had forced her to wear.

_Nope. Sorry. Can't do that. I don't ever want to stop looking at you. Ever._

And in that moment I realized that I had to finally make a choice.

In about two minutes, Bella would be walking out that door and down the isle to get married. Which, I _should_ be happy about. Bella deserved to be happy, even if I knew- deep down in my soul- she wouldn't be. Maybe not right away, but eventually she would find out the truth about him, and it would crush her.

Like I said, I should be happy for her, but there's no way in hell I could ever be. She was about to marry a man….who wasn't me.

It should be _me_ up there and not him. Maybe I don't deserve her either after how I broke her heart all those years ago, but I'm not the same person I was then. I would never treat her that way again. I would worship her and keep her safe and do everything in my power to make sure she was happy.

And that piece of shit out there in the Chapel SURE-AS-HELL didn't deserve her. This much I knew after what I saw last night and even in the last couple weeks. Actually, I knew he was a bastard from the day she introduced me to him.

So now I had a choice to make.

Do I tell her the truth about the man she's about to marry, and risk breaking her heart into tiny little pieces all over again? Or do I swallow it down, let her have her happy wedding day, and hope that somehow she will be happy with him?

There's only one thing I knew for sure. Well, two things actually.

One – I was still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Isabella Marie Swan and would always be madly in love with her, forever.

Two – Either choice I made, I was completely fucking screwed.

"Okay, I'm ready to go get married!" Bella exclaimed, turning around to look at me. As she walked closer to me, our eyes met and I stared deep in the chocolate brown pools. The look I saw in her eyes sealed my fate. I wanted her to be happy. I _needed_ her to be happy.

I had made my choice.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Eighth Grade (Junior High)_

"Yes Mr. Cullen, this is room 209, have a seat," Mrs. Cope answered me as I entered the classroom with my schedule in hand. I never understood why they numbered the classrooms in the two hundreds, when there were only about fifty different rooms. This school was so tiny compared to the one I came from back in Alaska.

I had just moved here over the summer because my father took a job at the only hospital here in Forks, Washington. And what kind of a name for a town is "Forks" anyway? I'd never even heard of this place on any map until a few months ago. I guess my dad heard about it from one of his collegues at work and once my mom saw pictures of the area she just _had_ to move here for some reason. I think the real reason was because he got caught messing around with another nurse at the hospital in Alaska…again.

Yes, I know my dad is a cheater because my parents argue all the time, and I hear every word they say even though they think I'm asleep. My dad thinks that just because he's a doctor, he can do whatever he wants. It makes me sick. I honestly don't know why my mom puts up with it.

I'd been sitting there staring at my folder on my desk, when the teacher, Mrs. Cope, started the class. She passed out our Geography books and introduced herself. She was a big lady in her sixties with a big puff of white hair piled up on top of her head, and big seventies style thick lens glasses on her make-up-caked-on face. She had bright purple and blue eye shadow on around her light blue eyes. She almost looked clownish and I had to stifle a laugh when she brought me my book. Just as she was placing a book on my desk, the door to the classroom flung open and a girl came running in, almost sliding on the linoleum floor as she entered.

My eyes glued to the sight of her for some reason. Her long brown damp hair clung to her flushed face as she gripped her light brown backpack on one shoulder and tried to keep herself from falling on her ass. She was pretty plain looking to say the least, but still pretty in her own sort of way I guess. She was wearing jeans and a long yellowish brown coat. She moved the hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears as she looked toward Mrs. Cope with obvious embarrassment.

Mrs. Cope set my book on my desk and walked away, toward the girl at the front of the class. As Mrs. Cope was taking a piece of paper from the girl, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see that a blonde-haired girl was sitting behind me smiling at me.

"Hi, I'm Lauren," she said as she looked me up and down and twirled a pencil in her hand. She was pretty cute and so I smiled back.

"I'm Edward."

She smiled and started to ramble on to me about cheerleading or something, but I wasn't really listening because I heard Mrs. Cope scolding the brown haired-girl at the front of the class, about being punctual. I looked back up front to the girl who looked embarrassed and angry as the teacher told her to have a seat. The girl looked around the class room and started coming down my isle. The only seat left in the class was right next to me, and even though I had no idea who this girl was, I was glad she would be sitting next to me.

She threw her back pack down next to her chair and shrugged off her coat, throwing it on the floor on top of her back pack. Then she plunked herself down into her seat, letting out a big huff of air and twisting her damp hair into a bun on top of her head. I caught myself staring at her, sitting there in her black "Smashing Pumpkins" t-shirt.

"You ok?" I whispered to her.

She looked over to me and smiled as her pink cheeks slowly turned red. "Yeah, just trying to figure out what's up Crusty-the-Clown's ass up there," she nodded toward Mrs. Cope.

I started cracking up and she joined in laughing as well. The girl was funny.

"You're new here aren't you?" she asked me, as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Yup, I just moved here from Alaska."

"So you're an Eskimo?" she smirked.

"What? No!"

A throat cleared behind us and we both turned to see Lisa or Lauren or whatever glaring at the both of us. Suddenly, Lisa or Lauren turned her focus to the brown haired girl next to me whose name I still didn't know.

"Bella, you are so lame. Just because he's from Alaska, doesn't make him an Eskimo you idiot."

_Bella…so that's her name. _

Bella narrowed her eyes at the girl behind me. "Hey Lauren, why don't you put on some of your harlot pink lipstick, and kiss my ass!"

Lauren's eyes got wide as she gasped. "You are such a bitch!" she spat to Bella.

Bella rolled her eyes and smirked at her, "Yeah well, so is your mother." Then she turned away from Lauren and sat forward in her seat smiling at herself.

"So your name's Bella?" I leaned over toward her.

She turned to the side to face me again, replying, "Oh yeah sorry, I guess that was rude of me. Yeah, I'm Bella." She held her hand out for me to shake it.

"Edward," I replied as I took her hand to shake it. As soon as our hands made contact, there was something like an electric charge that buzzed through our hands and we both pulled away suddenly. Our eyes were wide until she spoke again.

"Must be static in the air," she mumbled as she blushed.

"Yeah, must be," I smiled.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan," the teacher bellowed from the front of the class, causing my head to snap up to look at the clown lady. "If you two are done jibber jabbering, I'd like to continue the class…"

Bella and I looked at each other and tried to not smile before we looked down at our books. Mrs. Cope started her lecture again and I heard Bella snickering next to me. I looked over to her and saw that she was shaking with silent laughter, her head turned down.

"What!" I whispered to her.

"Jibber jabbering?" she whispered back. We both snickered and listened to Mrs. Cope as she started explaining about the continents and how we would have to name the capitols of each of the States in the U.S. by the end of next week. Then she was saying something about how she wanted us to write the capitols on the print out of the map and not to write them "Catty-wompus" on the paper and Bella started cracking up before hiding her face behind her hands.

Mrs. Cope glared in our direction but luckily she didn't know that it was Bella who had made the disruption. I could see Bella shaking with laughter that she was trying so desperately to stop as Mrs. Cope continued her lecture adding a "do-dad" and a "flibberty flab" into her speech here and there. Each time she uttered one of her 'sayings', I could hear Bella snicker next to me as she hid behind her Geography book and it was all I could do not to crack up, myself.

The class finally ended when the bell rang and Bella let out an exasperated sigh as she rose from her chair.

"You gonna be alright there buddy?" I asked her.

"What the hell is a 'flibberty flab' anyway?" she asked with a huge smile plastered across her face.

I laughed. "I have no idea but you better be careful or Crusty-the-clown is gonna kick you out of class," I warned her.

"Psh…I'm not scared of that old bitty. Besides, my dad's the chief of police here in town, so she won't mess with me unless she wants her car towed or something worse."

"You think it's a clown car?"

Bella cracked up. "Probably. So what class you got next Eskimo Ed?" she asked.

I raised an annoyed eyebrow at her nickname for me and she laughed again before I replied, "Well, Miss Swanny River, I have Math and then PE and then lunch. You?"

"Swanny River? That's the best you could come up with?" she giggled. "Well Eddie Munster, I have Math next too. Who's your teacher?"

I looked down at my schedule paper. "Um…Higgins."

"Ugh. He's a total dick. Good luck with that, buddy," she consoled, reaching up and patting my shoulder.

_Great. Really looking forward __**that**__ class now._

"Who do _you_ have?" I inquired.

"Mrs. Frisk. She's cool," she shrugged.

"Let me see your schedule, Bella."

I held out my hand and she handed it to me. I compared our schedules. We didn't have any other classes together for the rest of the day. I was disappointed because Bella was really easy to talk to and I didn't know anyone else yet at the school besides her and Lauren.

"Well, maybe I'll see you at lunch," I told her as I handed her schedule back to her.

"Yeah, maybe," she smiled, as she slung her back pack over her shoulder. We walked out of the class room and out into the hallway. "Well, I guess I'll see ya, Edward," she added with another shy smile.

"Yeah, see ya later, Bella," I smiled back. Neither of us moved yet until she giggled and shook her head. Then she punched me lightly in the arm and walked passed me and down the hall. I stood there and watched her walk away before some skinny kid with black hair came up and threw her into a head lock. I started to make my way toward her when I noticed the kid hunch over and grunt. She had punched him in the nuts. He slowly sank to the ground clutching his balls.

Bella shouted down to him, "Don't ever touch my boobs again, Yorkie!" then she reached down and smacked him hard on top of the head and stalked away and around the corner. I walked over toward the kid on the ground and stood over him. He looked up at me as he groaned.

"Man that girl is hot!...ungh," He screeched in a high pitched voice as he clutched his balls and rolled on the ground. "She wants me…ow my nuts…I know she does…ow."

"DON'T touch her again!" I warned him in my deepest voice. He groaned again and closed his eyes. I had no idea what came over me at that point but I wanted to reach down and strangle him. Instead, I shook my head and walked back in the other direction, toward my next class.

I didn't see her at lunch that day and wondered what happened to her. I wanted to tell her that she was right about Mr. Higgins being a complete dick. I wanted to ask her if she was ok after what that kid Yorkie did to her. I just wanted to talk to her again but I had no idea where she was. For some reason, I couldn't wait to go to my Geography class the next day.

* * *

**Bella's Diary**

_Dear Diary,_

_Holy crap, diary! You should see the new guy at school! Edward Cullen. He is sooooooooooooo cute! He's tall with messy, reddish brown hair and he's got the prettiest green eyes! And when he smiles at me, I swear I think my legs are going to snap in half and make me fall on my ass! We only have one class together but it's ok because we sit right next to each other. Too bad Lauren Mallory's stupid face sits behind him. Man I can't wait for school tomorrow. I might even get up early just to try and talk to him before class. And diary, you know I hate getting up early, so that says something!_

_Oh and I got in trouble at school today for punching Yorkie in the balls. He deserved it, stupid ass-faced jerk! Why does he always have to grab my non-existent boobs like that? He's so stupid! I don't know why my brother is even friends with him.. Speaking of brothers…._

_Emmett Swan, I KNOW you're reading my diary you dick! Don't think I haven't figured it out! If you ever utter one word to anyone about what you read in here, I will spread a rumor that you like to watch gay porn and that you have a tiny 2 inch dick! Trust me, I will! And why the hell do you want to read this anyway? GET A LIFE!_

_Later, Diary._

_~ Bella_

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**A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read this. It will start out light and funny, but as we get further into the story, you will start to see changes in Edward. He's pretty much a clueless boy in the beginning. Give him time though, and you'll see where things are heading. Bella will change and mature pretty quickly as well. Also, I'm sorry to say that Carlisle is a jerk in this story...very OOC. As are some of the other characters (Renee, Emmett, ect...). Don't hate Emmett too much though, he's just being a big brother.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

* * *

**A/N:** **So... Thank you to those who have added my little love story here. I wanted to let you know that this will be the last "Eighth grade" chapter. I want to try to keep things moving along here so that we can get down to business and get some lemony goodness goin, if you know what I mean...but that wont be until High School so bear with me for a couple more chapters and enjoy their blossoming friendship. Thanks for reading, and please enjoy.**

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**Chapter 2**

_"Every time I look for you the sun goes down  
And I stumble when this whole thing runs aground  
I left another message, you are never around  
But every time I look for you the sun goes down  
Once more"_

_**Every Time I Look For You - Blink 182**_

_Still eighth grade…._

The next morning at school, I practically jumped out of my mom's Volvo while it was still moving.

"Wait until I stop the car Edward, my goodness!" my mom shouted to me.

"Sorry Mom," I muttered, before turning back toward her to give her quick kiss on the cheek. I got out of the car and started to run toward the steps when I heard a familiar girl's voice yelling from behind me.

"Edward!"

I halted in my tracks and turned to see Bella getting out of the passenger side of a white Toyota 4-Runner. "Bye mom!" she shouted into the cab, before slamming the door and sprinting toward me. As soon as she reached me, she punched me in the arm. "What's up, Edwina?" she asked.

I smiled and shook my head. "Not much, Swanson."

She rolled her eyes and started to walk ahead of me. "Oh God, you need better material than _that_."

I quickly caught up to her. "Whatever. Hey, so you were right about Mr. Higgins. What the hell is his problem anyway?"

"Oh who knows! Maybe he's mad because his face looks like my dog's ass," she shrugged.

I cracked up with laughter. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

She giggled, "Hey, what can I say? My dad's a cop and he's been cussing at me and my brother Emmett since we were little. It was bound to rub off on one of us."

"So your brother Emmett doesn't have a filthy mouth like you do?" I lightly shoved her as we entered the classroom.

"Oh no. Not Mr. Angel Emmett. He can do no wrong...Bastard," Bella joked, rolling her eyes.

"Is he older or younger?"

"He's two years older than me. He's in high school and thinks he's 'King Dinga-ling' right now. It's so annoying." I nodded as she continued, "How bout you? Any brothers or sisters?"

"Nope. Just me."

"Hmph. Well you're lucky. My brother is such a dick. He's always picking on me and beating me up. Sometimes I wish I _was _an only child." Hearing her say that her brother was beating her up really irritated me. She was so tiny, it just didn't seem right.

"Is that where you learned those Karate moves from yesterday?"

Bella snickered as we took our seats. "You saw that, huh?"

"Yeah. Did he really try to grab your boobs?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"YES! He's always making cracks about my flat chest and then he tries to cop a feel! Plus he lives down the street from me and hangs out with Emmett all the time. He's always trying to 'accidently' walk in on me when I'm taking a shower too. He's such a pain in the ass."

"You want me to beat him up for you?" I asked, hoping she would say yes.

"Oh, I think he got the message loud and clear yesterday, but thanks for the offer," she grinned.

I wanted to continue our conversation but Mrs. Cope had started the class and Bella ignored me the rest of the time until the final bell rang, ending the class period. As we stood up I had to ask her, "So, did you leave early yesterday? I didn't see you at lunch."

She blushed. "Yeah, I got called to the principal's office because SOMEBODY…" she glared back behind me, toward Lauren, "… ratted me out for fighting in the hallway and they called my dad. He came and picked me up, we had lunch, and I rode with him in the cruiser for the rest of the day."

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Nah. My dad was pretty proud of me actually. He just let me hang out with him for the day, busting thugs and giving out speeding tickets and crap. That radar gun kicks ass," she snickered, adding, "But he _did_ go over to Yorkie's house yesterday after school and put the 'fear of God' into him. I told you he wouldn't bother me anymore." She bit her bottom lip.

She was right. Eric Yorkie didn't bother her or even look at her for a while after that. Bella and I still hung out before Geography class each morning and sometimes talked at lunch. She wondered why I was so much taller than the other boys in our grade and I had to confess that I was held back in kindergarten for hearing problems, so I was actually a year older than the rest of the kids. I asked her not to tell anyone and she swore she wouldn't.

By the time the beginning of December rolled around, she started acting weird towards me. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that some of the kids were making fun of her, saying that she and I were dating, which we weren't. I could tell she was upset and embarrassed by it, but I didn't know what to say. Soon she started ignoring me altogether. I had to do something.

"Psst. Bella!" I whispered to her in class.

"What?" she whispered back.

"Can I borrow some paper?" I already had a full notebook of paper in my backpack.

She said nothing else as she tore out three pieces of paper from her notebook and handed them over without looking at me. I took the paper and put it on top of my open Geography book.

"Are you mad at me or something?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"What's wrong with you then?" I whispered again. She sighed and tore out a piece of paper from her notebook and started scribbling a note to me. I eagerly waited for her written explanation. She finished scribbling and folded the note before handing it to me while Mrs. Cope faced the board. As I grabbed the note from her, I accidently touched her hand when I took the note. The buzzing was there again and she jolted in her seat as I caught the note when she dropped it.

I smirked at her and she blushed and looked away as I opened the note to read it.

_Yorkie told my brother Emmett that kids at school were saying that we were dating. Emmett told my dad and now I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore. I told my dad that we're just friends but he won't listen. I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to get chewed out by my dad again._

I wanted to kill Yorkie.

I felt sick to my stomach as I read the words on the paper. Sure I had met some cool guys at school that I hung out with, but the thought that Bella couldn't talk to me anymore was horrifying. She was a good friend and she was actually more fun to hang out with than anyone else. I had to think of something quick. I scribbled a note back to Bella and handed it to her.

_I'll talk to Yorkie and fix everything. And if that doesn't work, I'll go talk to your brother_.

She read the note and her eyes widened. She fiercely scribbled a response and handed the note back to me.

_It's your funeral! My brother is HUGE!_

I rolled my eyes at this. I was almost six feet tall and definitely not scrawny. How big could her brother be? Before I could write another response, Lauren was tapping me on the shoulder. I turned around to look at her. She was twirling her pencil and popping her gum in her mouth. I hated when girls did that with their gum.

"Hey Edward, you wanna be my date to the Winter dance?" Lauren asked. I had heard about this dance all over school. It was just supposed to be some casual event in the school's gym. As I thought about my answer, I heard Bella slam her Geography book shut. I turned to look at her and she was looking at the teacher who was looking at us. After a few seconds of glaring in our direction, Mrs. Cope looked away and Lauren nudged my arm again. I scribbled a note to Bella.

_Are you going to the Winter dance? I'm not asking you to go with me, but are you gonna be there?_

She read the note and her face fell. Did she want me to ask her to go? She just told me she wasn't allowed to talk to me anymore, so what was I supposed to do? She sighed and scribbled her response and handed the note back to me.

_I'm supposed to go with my friend Jessica. So yeah I'll be there._

I turned around to Lauren, telling her, "I'll meet you there Lauren." She squealed in delight. Yes, squealed. It was the most ear-piercing, annoying sound in the world. The girl was completely irritating, but I didn't know of anyone else who was going to the dance yet and I wanted to see Bella there so it seemed like a good idea at the time. I turned back around in my chair and looked at Bella. I couldn't read the look on her face. Was she mad? Sad? I couldn't tell. She ignored me for the rest of the class and when the bell rang, she shot up in her seat and took off with her coat and backpack in her hands. I tried to catch up to her but stopped when I ran into Eric Yorkie. I decided to try befriending him in hopes that he could give me some useful information on how to fix the Emmett/Charlie situation for Bella.

Over the next couple weeks, I hung out with Yorkie and it was pretty clear he had a crush on Bella. But instead of just telling her, he thought it was better to make fun of her. I could have given him some tips on how to get in her good graces, but I didn't want to. Yorkie was a tool and was completely wrong for Bella. The thought of him with his hands on Bella made me mad. Actually, pissed is more like it.

He also introduced me to Emmett one day when I went to his house to play his Playstation after school. Bella was not lying. Emmett Swan was a huge beast. He was only a couple inches taller than me but he was beefy like a line-backer in the NFL. Emmett didn't say much to me that day. He just kept glaring at me. I tried telling him that Bella and I were just friends and that I wasn't interested in her like that, but he just grunted at me and rolled his eyes. I had no idea why he didn't like me, but it was obvious that he didn't.

**X-X-X**

_December 16th_

The day of the Winter dance came around before I knew it and I was being dropped off at the school. Bella still hadn't talked to me in weeks and I really hoped that she would at least say 'Hi' to me once I got inside the gym. I made my way into the double doors of the gym and saw balloons and streamers everywhere. The music was thumping and there were lights flashing off to the side. It was a picture area.

There stood Bella in a dark blue strappy dress and black tights, taking a picture with her friend Jessica Stanley. Jessica was hamming it up for the camera, flipping her hair over her shoulders and posing, while Bella was rolling her eyes and looking bored. I watched as the camera man walked up to Bella and moved her now curly, long brown hair over one shoulder and placed one of her hands on her hips. She flinched away from him in irritation and he went back to his camera stand, telling them to "Smile". Once they did, he flashed the camera. I was thinking about how different Bella looked with her hair curled and in a dress when suddenly, I felt a hand come up to my shoulder, spinning me around. It was Lauren.

"Hi Eddie!" she shrieked. I hated being called 'Eddie'. "Let's go get our picture taken together!" she said. And with that she dragged me over to the picture area, where Bella had previously been. The camera guy posed us together with Lauren standing in front of me. He put my arms around her, clasping my hands under hers in front of her waist. I tried to move my hands but she clamped down on them and before I knew it, the picture had been taken.

I felt like someone was staring at me to my left so I looked in that direction and found Bella looking at me with a scowl on her face. She instantly adjusted once I caught her looking, whipping her head around to look at Mike Newton who was babbling on in front of her. Mike was a decent looking kid with short, spiked, blonde hair and blue eyes. I saw Bella say something to him and he smiled and dragged her off to the dance floor area and scooped her up into a "way too close" dance embrace. She instantly pushed him back a little and he laughed.

I don't know why but my hands clenched at my sides and I didn't realize that Lauren had been talking to me the whole time I had been watching Bella.

"Hellooooooooo…..Earth to Eddie…" Lauren waved her hand in front of my face. I laughed it off and tried to act like nothing was going on. A slow song was playing and Lauren wanted to dance.

"Maybe in a little while. Let's go get some punch," I told her as I watched Bella dancing with Newton out of the corner of my eye. She looked miserable as she looked everywhere on the ceiling and he looked like he was about to crap his pants by the way he was sweating. Luckily, as Lauren and I made our way over to the punch and cookie area, the music had changed to a faster song. Bella's friend Jessica went running out to the dance floor with a couple other girls, and ripped Bella out of Mike's grasp. They all started dancing wildly and Bella joined in with them.

The dance was only about two hours long and every time I tried to go talk to Bella, Lauren would make me go slow dance with her or find some other way to distract me. Bella had danced with her friends most of the time and if she wasn't dancing, she was sitting on the bleachers talking to her friends. She would sneak glances at me and turn away instantly if she saw me looking as well. I guess my talk with Emmett didn't work after all.

The last song came on and of course it was a stupid slow song. I was so close to asking Bella to dance with me just so I could talk to her and find out if she was okay, when out of nowhere, her friend Jessica came up and asked me to dance. I didn't want to say 'Yes' but she looked so nervous that I didn't want her to cry or embarrass her, so I agreed. She was actually pretty nice and didn't annoy me as much as Lauren did. _That_ girl would never shut up or stop popping her gum.

Jessica and I started dancing and I felt compelled to ask, "Where's Bella?"

"Um…she left," Jessica stated as she looked away from me.

"Oh."

That was all I could say. I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to Bella. I didn't say anything else to Jessica. We finished our dance and I said goodbye to her, as well as Lauren and some of my guy friends. Everyone started leaving the gym and I headed out toward the parking lot. When I got there I noticed a familiar Toyota 4-Runner parked in the lot. I could see Bella locked in an embrace with her mother. It sure seemed like a long hug. Was she crying? I squinted harder and saw her mother stroking her back in a comforting way. Maybe she was crying. But why? I never found out because my mom was honking her horn waiting for me in her Volvo so I had to go.

**X-X-X**

It was Christmas break after that, and luckily for me, I had to get stupid braces put on my teeth to fix a fang tooth on top and some crowding on the bottom. When I came back to school after the break, Bella wasn't in her seat for Geography that first morning. The bell rang and we opened our books. Mrs. Cope started her lecture when the classroom door flung open. My brown-haired girl came running into the room. She handed a note to Mrs. Cope and quickly shuffled down the isle to her seat next to me.

I had forgotten that I had my new metal mouth and smiled at Bella. Surprisingly, she grinned back with a full set of metal in her mouth as well. We both started laughing.

Everything pretty much went back to normal with us after that. Bella said that her mother talked some sense into Emmett and her father so everything was okay now. We laughed and told jokes and teased each other on a daily basis. Before we knew it, the school year was over and we were being handed our Yearbooks. Bella signed mine:

_Hey Eduardo,_

_I wrote a poem for you..._

_I'm glad I had you in my class,_

_And didn't have to kick your ass._

_Roses are red, violets are blue,_

_You laugh like a monkey, and belong in a zoo!_

_Just kidding! Really hope we have more classes together next year!_

_~Bella Swan_

I cracked up at this and tried to write something funny in hers as well.

_Bella Bella fo-fella,_

_What can I say? You are like the_

_little sister I never had and never wanted._

_Ha! I'm kidding. Call me over the summer_

_and we'll go t.p. Yorkie's house! See ya next year. _

_Edward Cullen_

_555-0176_

She never called me over the summer and I only saw her a couple times at the grocery store with her mom or at the pizza place with her family. I was just happy that things were finally normal with us. At least they were for a little while…

* * *

**Bella's Diary**

_December 16th_

_Dear Diary,_

_Just friggin shoot me now please. I want to die. Not only did Edward really show up to the stupid Winter Dance at school, but he actually went with Lauren after all. Does God hate me or something? I know she's popular and all, but I really don't think she's all that pretty. And she's such a bitch! I guess Edward likes bitches then. Whatever. I don't understand why he asked me if I was going to be at the dance, if was just going to ignore me the whole damn time. Plus I had to sit there and watch him dance with her a bunch of times. AGGGGHHHH! By the end of the dance I was about to lose my mind. Jessica was no help either. She just kept telling me to get over him if he wasn't interested. Some friend. I think she secretly has a thing for him too and she's not telling me. She better not __**even**__ try to go after him. That's just wrong and she knows it. It goes against all rules of friendship right? I don't know what to do. Maybe I should move seats so I don't have to torture myself looking at his gorgeous eyes and killer smile everyday. I guess for now I'll just wait and see what happens next. I don't really want to lose his friendship either, but I really REALLY like him. A lot. No, way more than a lot. God I am such a loser. Ok, that's it. I need to just get myself together and snap out of this. If Edward is interested, then he'll ask me out, and if not, we'll just be friends. Ugh. Shoot Meeeeeeee!_

_I gotta go drown my sorrows in Oreos and Milk. _

_~ Bella_

_P.S. Emmett – stop taking my No Doubt CD! I know you have crush on Gwen Stefani, but GO BUY YOUR OWN CD TO SPANK OFF TO! _

* * *

_June 10_

_Dear Diary,_

_So today was the last day of eighth grade, and I've been doing so good and not drooling over Edward. Yes, it's been a daily struggle but what else can I do? He still hasn't asked me out so I guess it's just friendship for now. Maybe he's not interested in girls like that yet? That's what my mom said, but I think she was just trying to make me feel better. She told me that boys are so much more immature than girls and so it might take him a while to realize he likes me. Yeah, whatever mom. So why did he give me his phone number then. I've dialed it and hung up eight times since I got home today. I just don't have the balls to do it. What if he gave his number to other girls besides me? And what do I say once I get him on the phone? "Oh hey Edward, wanna come over to my house so I can stare at you?" Real smooth. Or how about "Hey Edward, you wanna go to the movies 'just as friends' cause I know you don't like me like that?" Oh that's even better Bella. THIS IS HOPELESS!_

_~ Bella_

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was eighth grade, and yes...young Edward is completely clueless that Bella has it bad for him. So next chapter is ninth grade and a new school year. **


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

* * *

**A/N: So, we're up to Ninth grade which will only be for one chapter then the next will be Tenth grade. See? We're moving right along... See you at the bottom...**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_"What's with these homies dissin' my girl?_

_Why do they gotta front?_

_What did we ever do to these guys,_

_That made them so violent?_

_Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours_

_Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine_

_Woo-hoo, and that's for all of time,_

_Ooh-wee-ooh, I look just like Buddy Holly_

_Oh, oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore_

_I don't care what they say about us anyway,_

_I don't care bout that"_

_**Buddy Holly - Weezer**_

_Ninth Grade…_

The new school year was here and I thought I was crazy for looking forward to it. I had decided that I was going to try out for the school's Basketball team since I had grown an extra two inches over the summer and was now six foot one. I still had my stupid braces though and that fact wouldn't change for probably another year, unfortunately.

My first class was English, which I hated. Plus, Bella wasn't in it. I still hadn't seen her yet. Next I had U.S. History which was pretty cool. Still no Bella though. After History, I had P.E. and finally, there she was. She wasn't in _my_ class but she had the same P.E. period that I had. Unfortunately, I still couldn't talk to her because my coach was a real bitch. I wasn't even sure if she was actually female by the looks of her. Bella spotted me right away and waved to me with a big, cheesy, metal-mouthed grin. I immediately smiled and waved back. I stole glances of her every now and then as her class played basketball, just to see if she was any good.

She was horrible.

She was too short and uncoordinated. I would definitely need to help her with her basketball skills.

My class was running track and as I neared the black top I almost fell on my face from what I saw next. Bella's class was still playing basketball, and someone had passed her the ball. She started dribbling up the court and actually did a perfect lay-up shot. The ball went in the basket and the coach gave her a high-five before she broke out into the most ridiculous victory dance with some other girl I didn't recognize. The girl was tiny compared to Bella, with short, wispy, black hair that came down to her chin. They were cracking up and I started laughing too as I went around the track again.

I guess she didn't need my help after all.

After P.E. was lunch. I got myself a couple slices of pizza from the cafeteria, and went to find a table. Bella was already sitting at a table at the far end of the cafeteria with Jessica and a bunch of other girls, including the girl I had seen with Bella on the basketball court earlier. I figured she must be new to the school. I sat down at a table of guys which included Yorkie, and my other friends - Garrett and Pete.

The next thing I knew, Yorkie had walked over to Bella's table and was bugging her again.

"Heeeeeyyyyy Bella, showin some cleavage today huh?" he howled as he pointed to her shirt. She had on a dark blue, scoop neck, long sleeve t-shirt. It wasn't low cut at all. You could only see her collar bones. It actually looked really pretty on her. He was just being a dick. Again. Bella rolled her eyes and continued to eat her pizza, but he kept on. "Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?" She didn't even look at him, she just raised her middle finger in front of his face while she ate her pizza with her other hand. Yorkie didn't let up. "C'mon Bells, we wanna see some of your itty bitty titties! Hahahahahaa!"

That was _it_.

I got up from my seat and threw my pizza on my plate. But before I could do anything else, Bella had stood up from her seat as well. She took her slice of pizza and shoved it (cheese side facing him) into his face, smooshing it in _nice and hard_. Then she clenched her fist of her other hand and punched him hard in the balls. He dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. She threw the slice of pizza on his head and picked up her tray before calmly walking away.

I was so proud of her. Every one of the girls at her table cheered. Bella threw the rest of her food away and walked out of the cafeteria. I left my tray and went to go find her so I could tell her how cool that was. After searching the halls, I finally found her sitting by one of the classrooms at the far end of the school. She was crouched down by the wall with her head hidden in her arms that were folded over her knees.

"Bella!" I called out to her from the end of the hall. She didn't move. When I got closer to her, I could hear her sniffling.

"Bella?" Still no answer, but it was obvious to me that she was crying. I sat down next to her and folded my arms over the tops of my knees as well, before nudging her arm with my elbow. "Hey. Don't cry. He actually likes you, you know." I never wanted to tell her this but I just wanted to cheer her up.

She lifted up her head and looked straight ahead as she sniffed, "It's not my fault that I'm flat chested. I _know_ I have no boobs. He doesn't have to rub it in all the time. I mean…I'm only fifteen, I can't help it if my body hasn't done its thing. Jeez!" Another tear fell from her eye and I reached over and wiped it from her face. She turned to look at me and blushed as I smiled at her. Man, I hated seeing her cry.

After a long moment she let out a deep breath and smirked before squinting her eyes and saying, "I changed my mind. Kick. His. Ass."

I smiled back. "You got it, Swanson."

And so I did.

I went to his house that day after school and roughed him up. He wouldn't bother her anymore.

It also turned out that I had two other classes with Bella - French and Biology. I had no idea how I ended up in French class when I could have sworn I had signed up for Spanish, but it was okay because Bella made it fun. We went on the internet and looked up swear words in French and walked around school swearing French words at the other kids. It was hilarious. Our teacher didn't think it was very funny though, and neither did my mom when she got a call from the school.

Biology class went pretty well until halfway through the school year. That's when the frog incident happened.

The teacher in that class seated us alphabetically so of course I was on one side of the classroom and she was on the other. We had to dissect a frog and Bella was completely grossed out. She actually looked scared to even touch the frog. I knew if I could make her laugh, it would relax her, so I picked up my dead frog and made him start dancing on my table, making sure that Bella could see me. I started singing "Ragtime Gal" while I moved the frog around.

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaaaal….." I sang, as the dead frog's body flopped in my hands.

Bella was flung across her desk, rolling with laughter. It took us both about ten or fifteen minutes before we stopped cracking up.

After that, we all got down to business and started cutting up our frogs. Bella was partnered up with Mike Newton and I was partnered up with my friend Garrett. We were supposed to be taking out the intestines when I heard Bella scream. I looked up to see that Mike had thrown the frog's guts on her face, and she… was… pissed.

"Ugh, you stupid Asshole!" she hissed loudly at him.

Our teacher, Mr. Molina, was appalled by her language. "Miss Swan! Go to the principal immediately!"

She huffed and picked up her stuff before smacking Mike - hard- on the back of the head on her way toward the classroom door. As she passed by me I held out my knuckles to her and smiled, flashing a huge grin at me. We bumped knuckles before she left the classroom. _That's my GIRL!_

It was our last class of the day anyway, so I was sure she didn't mind going home early. Since she wasn't there after class, I walked to my mom's car alone and was met up by Bella's friend, Jessica Stanley. She asked me out on a date to the movies. She was cute and nice, so I said yes. Plus, she had a decent body; I'm not going to lie. What! I'm a guy. We notice these things! Anyway, we made plans to go to the movies that weekend which was only two days away. My dad said he would drive us.

The next day at school I wasn't able to talk to Bella until we got to our French class. She was upset about something, but she wouldn't tell me what it was. She was laughing at my jokes, but I could tell something was wrong. I also noticed over the next couple weeks that Bella and Jessica weren't sitting together at lunch anymore. Bella wasn't even at her regular table anymore. Instead, Bella was eating over at the far end of the cafeteria with the short pixie girl, who I finally found out was a new student from Chicago, named Alice Brandon. I figured maybe it was a fight over friendship or some crap like that. Girls are weird like that, where they can only have one good friend and they don't like to share.

My date with Jessica was fine I guess. She was talking through the _whole_ movie though. It was pretty annoying. She asked me out to the miniature golf course the next week. I went, and again it was okay, but _man,_ that girl would _not_ stop talking for one second! By the end of the date, I had a king-sized headache! We went out a couple more times over the next couple months, and I finally had to tell her that I didn't want to go out on any more dates. My brain just couldn't take it. She was pretty bitchy about it, but I finally got her off my back by the end of the school year.

Things with Bella didn't improve, however. She was still acting strangely toward me, and on the last day of school, she barely even signed my yearbook.

_Enjoy your summer._

_Try not to get Herpies._

_~Bella_

_Herpies! Why the hell would she write that?_ That was all she wrote before she slammed my yearbook on my desk and walked out of the classroom, long brown ponytail whipping behind her.

Women. Hmph. My dad was definitely right about that. Women were a pain in the ass!

I thought for sure I wouldn't see her again until the next school year, but one night, during the second week of summer vacation, something happened.

I lay on the couch watching TV and listening to my parents argue upstairs. My dad was at it again. Another nurse. I wondered if Bella's mom Renee knew anything about it since she worked at the hospital too. She was a nurse in the ICU and my dad was an ER doctor. Bella had told me once that her mom had heard some rumors about my dad being a flirt, but nothing that could point an obvious finger toward him cheating. I knew in my heart that he was though. He always said things to me here and there like, "Make sure you play the field while you're young" or "Don't settle down too quickly".

Thank God I would be leaving for Basketball camp in a week. It was only for a month but, it was away from here and all of the arguing. I didn't want to leave my mom, but I didn't want to stay and listen to this crap either. Their voices got louder upstairs and I could hear my mom crying. I couldn't take it anymore so I threw on some shoes and my grey zip up hoodie and walked out the front door. I had no idea where I was going, and it didn't matter. I just needed to keep walking until some time had passed. Besides, the further away I got from my house, the better I felt.

By the time I realized how far I had walked, I was standing in front of Bella's house which was probably about a mile from mine. I only knew where she lived because I had been to Yorkie's house, and he lived eight houses down from her. There were lights on upstairs in one of the rooms, and I could hear her mom and dad shouting at each other as well. _Guess I'm not the only one huh?_

I was about to keep walking when I felt something go whizzing past my head and hit the ground behind me. I turned to see that it was a football. I bent over and picked it up off the pavement and turned back to see where it had come from. Bella was standing by the trunk of the big tree in her front yard. I walked over to her and tossed it back to her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, as she caught the ball and tossed it behind her.

"I went for a walk. Why are _you_ outside?"

She nodded toward the noise on the upper level of her house, "I couldn't stand listening to that crap anymore."

"Me too," I shrugged. She looked puzzled so I continued,"I think my parents are getting a divorce. They were fighting pretty badly so I took off and started walking, and well…here I am."

"That sucks. Is your dad messing around again?"

"Yeah I think so. What are your parents fighting about?" I asked her.

"Um…money I think. I don't really know. They just fight all the time."

"Hm. Where's Emmett?" I didn't see his Jeep in the driveway.

"Oh, angel boy is at his bitch-girlfriend Rosalie's house. He probably won't be back until tomorrow. He's not here much. It's been verrrrrrrry nice!" she grinned.

"Yeah, I bet!" I smiled.

She pulled up the zipper on her maroon hoodie and shoved her hands in her sweatshirt's pockets. "You wanna keep walking with me?" she asked. "I kinda had the same idea you did."

I nodded and we headed down the street until we came to a trail off to the side of the road. The moon was so bright above us that we didn't need a flashlight to see where we were going. After a short hike, we ended up in a small meadow with a few large boulders. Bella hopped up on one of the boulders and I sat directly next to her. Our shoulders were only an inch apart. We were so close that I could smell her lavender shampoo. We sat in silence for at least ten minutes before she finally spoke.

"So... how are you and _Jessica_?" The way she said 'Jessica' made me think she was…jealous maybe? Or maybe she just really hated Jessica now.

"Ugh. That's over thank God," I told her.

"You got taller again," she stated, changing the subject.

"Um…no I think I'm still six-one."

"Oh."

"Did _you_ get shorter?" I joked.

"Asshole," she muttered under her breath before snickering.

I threw my arm around her shoulder and smooshed her into my side. "Aw, c'mon midget, don't be jealous."

She pushed me off her. "Just because you're freakishly tall, doesn't make me a midget, _Dickward_!"

"Ohhhhhhh! Good one!"

We both laughed.

"Just wait, ass-face, you're all gonna be sorry you made fun of me when I sprout huge tits and grow taller overnight!" Bella joked. I almost fell off the boulder with laughter.

"How tall _are_ you anyway?" I asked her when I finally stopped laughing.

"Five-four," she mumbled.

"You know…anything under five feet is considered handicapped. So you're only four inches away from getting a placard for your future rear-view mirror," I grinned.

She narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head with a smirk. "I hate you," she tried to say with a straight face.

"No you don't. You love me. Just admit it," I joked back.

"Psh. Whatever," she rolled her eyes. I continued laughing until she opened her mouth again, asking, "So is it true what they say about freakishly tall men having huge penises?"

My jaw dropped to the ground. "Ut…uhhh…um…wha?" I stuttered.

"Yeah, I thought that would shut your ass up," she chuckled.

It did. She completely shocked me into silence, for at least another ten minutes anyway. Eventually I started talking again, and we stayed there on our boulder for a couple hours or so, talking, joking, and making fun of each other. It was exactly what I needed to get my mind off my parents. I walked her back to her house later on when she said that her dad would come looking for her, and then I started back to my house.

The next week, I left for basketball camp. The month at camp flew by fast and before I knew it, I was back at home. I ran into Bella's mom Renee at the grocery store once when I came back and she told me that Bella had gone to visit some family in Arizona for the rest of the summer. I was glad that she wouldn't have to listen to her parents fighting at least. But at the same time, it sucked that I wouldn't get to see her until school started again on September 3rd.

And for some reason, I was eager for September 3rd to come.

* * *

_**Bella's Diary**_

_January 28_

_Dear Diary,_

_I hate Edward Cullen! And I hate Jessica Stanley even more! Stupid lying, back-stabbing bitch! She asked Edward out! How could she do that to me? She knows how I feel about him, and you know what she told me? "Well, he didn't ask YOU out and he didn't say no when I asked him…" ARRRRRGGGHHH! _

_Sorry for crying on your pages diary. I can't help it._

_I'm never going to speak to either of them again!_

_~ Bella_

* * *

_June 12_

_Dear Diary,_

_I wrote in Edward's yearbook that he should try not to get Herpies! HA HA HA! _

_Well he probably already has it if he's kissed Jessica. Stupid whore. Every time I see her I just want so slap her ugly face. I may just slap Edward's too. Stupid jerk. And why is he always trying to talk to me at school? If he doesn't like me like that, then why can't he just leave me the hell alone? I can't take this anymore because I want to be his girlfriend so badly. No scratch that. I want to marry his dumb ass. I dream about it all the time. I scribble his name all over my folder and then scribble over it…._

_I am so screwed. _

_Why can't I just meet someone else who wants me the same way? Maybe someday I will._

_Thank God I'm leaving in a week to go spend the summer in Arizona with my Aunt Charlotte and my cousin Kate. At least I won't have to see Edward's stupid face all over town. It's hard to stay pissed off at him when he's right in front of me. When he smiles at me, I forget why I was even mad at him. SO NOT FAIR!_

~ _Bella_

* * *

_June 23rd_

_Dear Diary,_

_I changed my mind about Edward. I don't hate him. In fact I like him __**even more**__ now. I sort of ran into him today and we talked. I wish I could give you all of the details of how I ran into him, but I know Emmett is reading this (YOU ASSHOLE!) so I will have to keep that info to myself. _

_What I can tell you is this – he needs me as a friend no matter what, and I need him as a friend too. His parents fight all the time just like mine do. Alice's parents don't fight and sometimes she doesn't understand how I feel. I felt so bad for Edward when he told me his dad is…oops can't put that in here because of you know who…I really need to get a pad-lock on this thing…_

_I really hate you, Emmett. Could you move out already? Because you really suck. Maybe I'll just tell mom that those Hustler mags were yours and not Yorkie's. Hmmmm….tempting._

_Well, I gotta finish packing, diary. I leave for Phoenix in the morning. See ya._

_~ Bella_

* * *

**A/N: Ah...they are buddies again. For now... hee hee hee. I know Bella might sound a bit whiny in her diary, but remember she's only 15 at this point so she's entitled. **

**Also, did you notice that Alice didn't jump up to help Bella in the cafeteria? Could she be the 'all-knowing' Alice who wants Edward and Bella to be together and changes certain people's class schedules from Spanish to French?... maybe… heh heh. ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

* * *

**A/N:** I have nothing clever to say here. See you at the bottom. :)

**WARNING:** This chapter contains underage drinking, in case that bothers anyone...

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_"I am a man_

_Cut from the know_

_Rarely do friends_

_Come and then go_

_She was a girl_

_Soft but estranged_

_We were the two_

_Our lives rearranged_

_Feelin' so good that day_

_A feeling of love that day_

_Twisting and turning, you're feelings are burning_

_You're breaking the girl_

_She meant you no harm_

_Think you're so clever, but now you must sever_

_You're breaking the girl_

_He loves no one else"_

_**Breaking the Girl - Red Hot Chili Peppers**_

_**High School**_

_Tenth grade…_

As soon as school started up again, I tried to pick up where I left off with Bella. Even though we had no classes together, we would talk sometimes if we saw each other in the hallway, or at lunch. It was nice to see her again. But nothing could have prepared me for the day she kissed me.

It was at the end of September, and it was the day of my first game on the JV basketball team. I was so nervous that I thought I was either going to throw up or pass out. I paced the sidewalk outside the gym until I finally had to sit on the ground with my head between my knees.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" came a voice from above me. I looked up to find Bella standing over me in a little white t-shirt and jeans, with her hands on her hips. She'd barely spoken to me in the past couple of days. I figured it was because of two things. For one, Emmett was a Senior at the school where we were both attending, so she probably didn't want him seeing us together, and two, like I said, we had absolutely no classes together.

I looked into her brown eyes, shocked that she was finally speaking to me again.

"Edward, you look like shit! What's wrong?"

I stood up and glared down at her, "I'm nervous Bella! That's what the hell's wrong with me! Have you seen how many people are in there? What if I can't make a single shot? What if I can't make any free throws? What if I trip and fall on my ass? What if I-"

**SLAP!**

_Holy SHIT, she just slapped me!_

"Did you just…why did you…YOU SLAPPED ME!" I stuttered, in complete shock.

Bella's eyes widened briefly, before she chuckled. "Well, it usually works in the movies," she shrugged. "You feel better now?"

I gaped at her with my mouth open for a moment. "No!"

I still felt like throwing up. My palms were sweating and I tried wiping them on my shorts. Then I ran my fingers through my messy hair and tugged tightly on it.

"Okay, hand on your knees," Bella commanded.

"What?"

"Just do it, Cullen. I'm trying to help you here. I have an idea."

"You're not gonna slap me again, are you?"

She threw her head back and started cracking up. "No, but you should've seen the look on your face. That shit was priceless!"

"Bella, this isn't helping me, you jackass!"

This made her laugh even harder. She was bent over with laughter, and I was getting pissed. "Bella!" I shouted.

"What? Okay, Okay…geez, keep your panties on Dickward! Damn!" She shook her head and then put her hands on her hips expectantly. "Well?" she asked, irritated.

"Well what?" I matched her voice as I glowered down at her. I was about to start hyperventilating if I didn't calm the hell down somehow.

"Hands on your knees and close. your. eyes," she demanded.

I looked at her with a 'What the hell are you talking about?' look on my face.

"Do it!" she yelled to me.

"Fine!" I yelled back, before leaning down and doing as she told me. I barely heard her mutter something under her breath that sounded like "Pain in the ass".

"Ok, don't move, and don't open your eyes," Bella instructed.

"Fine…" I grumbled. I heard her let out a long breath and I wondered briefly if she was about to kick me in the balls or something. I tensed slightly at that thought. Then the unexpected happened.

I felt her put her warm, tiny hands on my cheeks, and before I could ask her what she was about to do, her soft lips were on mine. It wasn't just a peck either. Her lips were plump and warm and tasted like cinnamon. Only in that instant did I realize that this was my first kiss. Pretty pathetic that it took me so long right? Yeah, well whatever. Kiss my ass. I've always been a little shy so sue me.

Then she kissed me again. Her lips took my bottom lip into hers and gently sucked on them. Then she did it again with my top lip. When she finally stopped kissing me, her lips lingered on top of mine and I could feel her warm, cinnamon breath on my face. There was an awkward silence as we both stayed perfectly still, frozen in our poses. My knees felt weak, and it wasn't because of the impending basketball game. I definitely wasn't freaking out about the game anymore. I started to reach for her when she let go of my face. I opened my eyes to see her stepping backwards. I didn't know what to say so I just stared at her.

She quickly cleared her throat. "Feel better now?" she asked, while her eyes looked everywhere but at me and she shifted from one foot to the other.

I was speechless. "I…uh…I…"

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Well I'm not letting you grab my boobs or anything, so you're just gonna have to grow some balls and get your ass out there. I'm sure you'll do great." She flushed red and looked at the ground as if she were embarrassed or nervous or something.

"Bella," I called to her, not knowing what else to say. I hadn't expected her to kiss me, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do next.

"I'm sorry okay?" she all but shouted. "I don't know what I was thinking. I just thought it would help. So…just, forget it. Good luck," she said,annoyed, before stalking away – with a familiar brown ponytail whipping behind her – into the gym. I stood there dumfounded.

Great. Now she was going to watch me fall on my face in there? But the funny thing was, I wasn't nervous anymore. It worked. All I could think about was how she had kissed me, how I could still taste her on my lips, and how my lips were still buzzing, just as they did when her lips were on mine. But then she got mad at me. God, she was so confusing.

I went inside and played a kick-ass game. I made every shot, made tons of rebounds and assists, and we won the game by forty three points. Every once in a while I was able to see Bella cheering for me in the bleachers. I tried looking for her after the game, but I couldn't see her anywhere. I did however find a very large, very pissed-off-looking Emmett staring me down from the bleachers where he sat with a bitchy-looking blonde. Must be Rachel or whatever Bella said her name was.

Thankfully, my mom came over and led me out of the gym and out of Emmett's death glare. What the hell was his problem with me anyway? Did Yorkie tell him I was a serial killer or something? I wondered about the possibilities until my mom's voice broke through my thoughts.

"So, I talked to your friend Bella tonight," she smiled.

"Oh yeah?"

"She's cute. I like her much better than that _Jessica_ girl." She said 'Jessica' the same way Bella had, and it made me laugh a little.

"We're just good friends mom."

"That's too bad. She's really spunky. I like her a lot," she gushed.

"Spunky?"

"Mm-hmm, it was so funny the way her brother kept picking on her and she kept serving it right back to him. That's one tough girl."

"Yeah she is pretty tough," I smiled. I saw my mom smiling at me out of the corner of my eye. I rolled my eyes. "We're just friends mom, knock it off."

"Okay okay, jeez. Don't get your panties in a twist Edward."

Oh God, she sounded just like Bella.

And so the days went on. Bella didn't talk to me at school, but she was at almost all of my games, and she sat with my mom every time. They were becoming little buddies. So much so, that I learned things that were going on with Bella through her conversations with my mother. In the meantime, I had gotten my driver's license and guilted my dad into buying me a car. I didn't have time to have a job since I was playing basketball and he wanted me to get good grades so I could get a scholarship. So he gave in and bought me an old Chevy Nova that I had been drooling over for a month. It was in perfect condition other than it needed a new paint job. My mom had it painted for me as a late birthday present. I got to pick the color - Candy apple red.

Through my mom, I learned that Bella's father, Charlie, had an old Chevy Chevelle hidden away in their shed, and Bella was hoping to have it when she got her license. Charlie was also teaching her how to work on the car, which I thought was pretty cool.

**X-X-X**

On an unseasonably warm October night, I was in my room doing my Algebra homework when I heard a rumbling engine come down the street. It almost sounded like my car idling outside. I was about to get up and look out the window when my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I knew the voice immediately.

"Come outside Dickward!" the familiar voice shouted through the phone, then snickered.

"Bella?"

"Hurry up!" she yelled, before hanging up. I got up from my bed and ran over to the window to see a black Chevelle sitting in front of my house. Its engine revved loudly several times.

_Jesus H. Christ, she doesn't even have a license yet and I bet Charlie doesn't know she's driving his precious baby. Shit, she must have lost her mind._

She honked the horn and I grabbed my phone and my hoodie sweatshirt, and ran downstairs.

"Where are you going? Dinner's almost ready," my mom yelled from the kitchen.

"Uuuhhh…I'm going out with a friend. Be back later!" I yelled quickly, before slipping out the front door. I ran over to the driver side door and saw Bella sitting behind the wheel with a huge grin plastered across her face. "What the hell are you doing, Bella? Your dad's gonna murder you!"

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Uggggghhh…come on Edward, grow a set and do something crazy for once!" I narrowed my eyes at her. "Fine, I'll go by myself," she huffed as she reached up to the gear shift by the steering wheel, to put it in DRIVE.

"Wait!" I put my hand on hers to stop her. The buzzing was there again and she looked at me with wide eyes. I quickly removed my hand and walked around to the other side of the car to get in. The car was completely restored inside with a CD player and new upholstery.

"Where are we going?" I asked her as she put the car in DRIVE.

"CRAZY THAT'S WHERE!" she shouted as she floored it. The tires screeched and the car sped forward as we started to fishtail.

"Jesus Bella, what the hell's gotten into you?" I shouted, as I braced my hand against the dashboard.

She let off the gas a little and drove at normal speed, leaning her head onto her left hand, driving only with her right. When she didn't answer me and instead bit her bottom lip with her metal-clad teeth, I knew something was bothering her. She always made that face when her parents were fighting or she had a fight with Emmett. At least that's what I remembered from the last time we had hung out. I didn't push it any further. Instead I turned on the radio and found a station we both liked. It was a Smashing Pumpkins song and I knew that was one of her favorite bands, so I turned up the volume loud, and Bella's frown turned into a big metal-mouthed grin.

"First Beach. Down in La Push," she yelled over the music. I nodded. We drove on down the road, not speaking any further until we reached the beach. She parked the car and cut the engine, before she jumped out of the car. She hopped up on the hood, scooting all the way back until she was lying on the windshield and staring up at the sky. I got out of the car and managed to get myself in the same position without crushing the hood. We stared up at the sky for a few minutes without speaking.

"Why do people even get married?" Bella asked.

"I don't know."

There was another long silence between us.

"I was a mistake." she blurted out of nowhere.

"What?"

"That's what my dad said...well…I overheard him say it. I guess him and my mom where about to split up when she found out she was pregnant with me. Crazy huh?"

"Bella, that's just…"

"Fucked up?" she finished my thought as a tear rolled down her cheek. I reached over and wiped it away.

"Yeah," I quietly replied.

"Yeah, well...I'm never getting married." She sniffed and swiped away at a few more tears before getting up and jumping off the hood. She went to the window and reached in to grab her purse. When she hopped back up on the hood, she had a near empty bottle of tequila in her hand.

"I swiped it from Mr. Angel Emmett's stash," she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows.

"You really _have_ lost your mind haven't you? I can't drink that!"

"This isn't for you Edna, it's for me. Besides, there's hardly enough in here to get me drunk, but still, you can drive home,"she said. Then she took a huge swig from the bottle, grimaced at the taste, before putting the lid back on. She looked over at me and smiled. "Puts hair on your chest right? So maybe it'll put boobs there for me too!" she joked.

"Shut up Bella, you have boobs," I told her as I rolled my eyes.

"Ha! I knew you were looking at them you jackass!" she laughed.

"I was not, asshole!"

She cracked up again before re-opening the bottle and pouring the little bit that was left down her throat. After putting the lid back on, she sat up on the hood and chucked the bottle across the parking lot and into the sand.

We stayed out there past midnight, while Bella regaled her story of how she pushed the car down the street to sneak it out, and how she would probably be grounded until she was thirty, once she got home.

Luckily, Charlie only grounded her for a month, because he had no idea she had also been drinking. He also threatened to sell the Chevelle if she ever did it again.

Now that we had each other's cell phone numbers, we usually just talked on the phone if we needed to vent, which was often.

Since I was the one legally licensed to drive, I picked her up instead of vice versa whenever one of us needed a La Push venting session. That was, until we got busted for being out after curfew. Luckily, Bella was able to convince the officer that she would never do it again if he promised not to tell her dad. I was amazed that all she had to do was smile and bat her lashes at the young officer and he was putty in her hands. If it had been a female cop, it would have been up to me to do the sweet-talking, which I knew was no problem. I did it all the time with female teachers, and girls at school who I knew could help me with my homework. Hey, I do what I have to.

Anyway, we found a new place to drive to. It was a little meadow off the road, where my car barely fit between the trees. The cops never bothered us there.

Even though our parents continued to fight on a regular basis, we were happy in our own little bubble. All was right with the world.

Until Christmas came.

Until Jacob Black showed up.

* * *

**Bella's Diary**

_Dear Diary,_

_I kissed him. I did what Aunt Charlotte told me to do. I went for it. It was…amazing. Until he looked at me like I had two heads. Then I realized it was a mistake. I was so embarrassed. I told him to just forget it and it looks like he has. I'm all done trying to make him like me the way I like him. He obviously doesn't feel the same way, so I'm giving up. I'll still be his friend, but that's it, I guess. I can live with that. I think. Anyway, other than that, everything is decent I guess. Mom and dad still fight constantly, and Emmett still bugs the shit out of me. I might get a job at the diner in town so that should keep me busy. Oh, who am I kidding? I will still think of you-know-who 24 hours a day. Maybe I'll ask my mom to let me go live with Aunt Charlotte in Arizona. At least there I could get some peace and quiet. Plus their neighbor James is pretty nice. He took me and my cousin Kate swimming at the water park this summer when I visited. He was pretty cool I guess. I'm sure there's no way my dad would let me go live there though. Oh well. Guess I'm stuck here in Forks for now. Lucky me. Yay..._

_Emmett, I really don't know why you're still reading this, but I know you are. You suck at being sneaky. Go ahead and read it if you want. I don't care anymore._

_Talk to you whenever Diary._

_~ Bella_

* * *

**A/N:** **Aww...poor Bella is getting so frustrated. Yes, Edward will come around soon...very soon. I suggest you all enjoy the sweet, naive, clueless Edward while he lasts, because eventually he is really going to piss you off. He has good reason for it, I assure you. I'm not revealing anything else yet, sorry... til next time... thanks for reading! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

* * *

**A/N**: I know this chapter is kind of short. Sorry. It's just the way it is.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_"Where are you?_

_And I'm so sorry  
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight  
I need somebody and always  
This sick strange darkness  
Comes creeping on so haunting every time  
And as I stared I counted  
The webs from all the spiders  
Catching things and eating their insides  
Like indecision to call you  
and hear your voice of treason  
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight  
Stop this pain tonight_

_Don't waste your time on me you're already_  
_The voice inside my head (I miss you...)_  
_Don't waste your time on me you're already_  
_The voice inside my head (I miss you...)"_

_**I Miss You - Blink 182**_

_Still Tenth Grade…_

I went to the diner on Christmas Eve to take Bella her present. She had just started working there a month ago. It was a little after five in the evening and she was behind the counter talking to some dark-skinned kid with a long, black ponytail. I could only see him from the back as I approached them. Bella was bent over the counter, leaning on her elbows and laughing at whatever he was telling her. As soon as she saw me, she stood up straight and waved to me, smiling with her big metal-mouthed grin. I went over and stood next to the black haired kid and handed her the gift I had gotten her. I looked down at the kid and saw him scowling at me. I scowled back. Bella cleared her throat.

"Um…Edward, this is Jacob Black, Jacob, this is Edward Cullen."

The kid and I nodded to each other.

Bella continued, "I knew Jacob when we were little, but I haven't seen him since I was six. And um… he works at the auto parts store across the street. He's gonna transfer from the Rez school over to our school next year."

_Great._

I looked back towards Bella. "You gonna open it?" I asked her, looking at the little box I'd given her.

She eagerly nodded and proceeded to rip the paper off the long box. Once she got it open her eyes widened at what was inside.

"You got me tickets to see _No Doubt_ in concert?" She gaped at me in surprise.

"You like that band don't you?"

Without another word she ran around the counter and pounced on me, throwing her arms around my neck, legs around my waist, knocking to the ground. Then she grabbed my face and started planting quick, rough kisses on my cheeks before hugging me tightly.

"You are the best, Eddie Spaghetti!" she whispered, before she immediately jumped off me and started dancing around the diner singing, "I'm gonna see Gweeeeeeennnnnn! I'm gonna see Gweeeeeennnnnn! Woooooooooo!" Gwen Stefani was the lead singer of the band.

I stood up and fixed my t-shirt before leaning against the counter that she was behind again, staring at her tickets, and biting her lower lip with excitement.

"Yeah, I figured you and Alice would enjoy it so….Merry Christmas."

Bella looked at me in confusion, muttering, "Oh. I thought _you_ were going with me, but… that's cool, I can take Alice, I guess."

"Oh, well….I just thought you'd take Alice," I explained. When she frowned further, I was the one who was confused. "What's the matter?"

"Alice _hates_ No Doubt. She even told me _yesterday_ how much she hates them," Bella said sadly.

"I'll go with you Bella," Jacob piped in. I narrowed my eyes at him. Who the hell _was _this kid anyway?

"Um….okay," she said to him, but she still didn't look excited. I looked at her and tried to ask her with my eyes what was wrong and she just shrugged. Then her expression quickly changed. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Edward, I have your present in the back, lemme go get it!" She turned and ran to the back room where their lockers were. She came back holding a box that looked like it had clothes in it.

Jacob stood up, and he was almost as tall as me.

"Well, I better get back to the store. See ya, Bells," he told her before turning and leaving.

"Okay, see ya Jake!" she yelled to him while looking at me, just as he was opening the door to the diner. He waved back quickly and slipped out the door.

I turned back toward Bella where she was holding out the box for me to take. She was biting her bottom lip and bouncing from one foot to the other. I took the box and ripped the paper off. Inside, was a Seattle Sonics basketball jersey. I held it up and turned it around. On the back, it had my last name and my number – Cullen, 17.

"You had this made for me?" I smiled, with my own metal-mouthed grin.

"Yeah, I was gonna put 'Dickward' on it instead, but since you've been so nice to me lately I thought I'd throw you a bone," she teased.

"Har har. Come here you little brat!" I reached forward and pulled her across the counter and into a hug. Something weird happened at that point. Not only was that strange buzzing feeling there when I touched her, but the air around us got thick and it was like I couldn't let her go if I tried. She pulled back slightly and looked into my eyes. I'd never noticed the different shades of brown in her eyes before, or her long black eyelashes. Her breath hitched and that drew my attention to her lips. They were pink and plump and it made me remember the last time they touched my lips.

A throat cleared beside us and broke me out of my trance. It was Bella's manager who was standing there with her arms folded across her chest glaring at us with one raised eyebrow. Bella stumbled backwards when I finally let go of her, and ran her hands over her hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. Her cheeks were flushed, almost as red as her shirt.

_What the hell was that? Was I about to kiss her?_

"Um…I gotta get back to work," she mumbled, while biting her lip. I was once again staring at her lips, which was doing things to me…down below.

"Ok. Well, thanks for the jersey, I love it," I smiled.

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas," she said as she bit her lip _once more_ and put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

I grabbed my jersey and the box. "Merry Christmas to you too." I turned to walk away, but stopped when I got to the door. I turned back to look at Bella who was now looking down at the concert tickets in her hands and frowning.

"Oh, and Bella?" I shouted to her. Her head snapped up and I continued, "Tell your friend Jacob that _I'm _taking you to the concert."

A huge metal-mouth smile broke across her face and she nodded. I grinned back and slipped out the door.

**X-X-X**

"Hey belly button, what time do you want me to come over?" I asked her through my cell phone.

"Um….well, actually….Jacob's here and we sort of already have plans to go to the movies."

It had been two months since the concert we went to in January and every time I tried to hang out with Bella, Jacob seemed to be there for some reason. The kid was really starting to get on my last damn nerve.

"Oh, I thought _we_ were going to movies tonight."

"Well…..you never called me back about it, and then Jake came over and asked me to go with him so…..hey, you could go with us if you want?"

I was quiet for a minute, trying to decide. Did I really want to hang out with her _and_ that little shit all night? Well, I didn't want Bella to be alone with him either. I didn't know why but I just didn't.

"Fine. I'll pick you up in an hour," I growled to her, before hanging up and throwing my phone on my bed.

I had just had basketball practice so I smelled pretty ripe. I jumped in the shower and washed up. While I was showering, I kept thinking about why Jacob Black irritated me so much. He had a smart-ass mouth for one thing, and also, I just didn't like the way he looked at Bella. I always caught him staring at her boobs (small as they were) and he was just a little too handsy with her, if you know what I'm saying. I'm sure if Chief Swan knew this, he would probably kick the shit out of him.

_Hmmmm…that's an intriguing idea…Maybe I should tell Charlie_.

Not that Charlie liked me much either. Every time I went to Bella's house to study, he would make us sit in the living room with him while he cleaned his hunting rifles, and his guns for work. Yeah…kind of hard to concentrate on English literature when your friend's dad is pointing an unloaded gun at you, and giving you the Evil Eye…just saying.

Once I was showered and dressed, I jumped in my Nova and drove to Bella's house. Thankfully, Charlie wasn't home, but Renee was. I parked behind her 4-Runner. After getting out of the car and heading up to her front door, I rang the doorbell, but there was no answer.

I opened the unlocked door and called out to her, "Bella?"

Just then, Bella's mom, Renee, came flying around the corner from out of the kitchen. "Oh hey Edward!" she smiled at me. "Sorry, I didn't hear the doorbell. I was in the kitchen listening to the radio." She was listening to some of Bella's CD's and it was blaring in the kitchen.

"That's okay, Mrs. Swan."

"Oh please, call me _Renee_," she said as she reached up and gave me a quick hug. "Wow. You've gotten so tall!" she beamed and I smiled. Bella's mom was always so nice to me and she was the only one - besides me- who Bella talked to about things with. Or at least that's what Bella told me once. Bella and her mom were very close. Sure they argued sometimes, but they were definitely close.

"Yeah, I'm six-two now," I grinned, "Bella calls me the Jolly Bronze-haired Giant."

Renee cracked up with laughter. It was the same laugh as Bella's. "Oh, that little brat!" she joked, shaking her head. "She's upstairs with Emmett and _Jacob_. They're playing Playstation or something." She rolled her eyes and I caught the way she sneered when she said the little punk's name.

I nodded and she motioned for me to go upstairs. I smiled and sprinted up the stairs, two at a time. When I rounded the corner to Emmett's room, the door was open. Bella and Emmett were sitting on the floor in front of Emmett's bed, playing a game of Mortal Combat against each other, while Jacob was staring at Bella, and Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie was sitting on his bed giving Jacob the death stare.

_Hmph. I guess that makes three people who don't like him..._

Bella was kicking Emmett's ass as usual. "HA! Suck on that Fuck-face!" she shouted.

"Stop cheating Bella! Dammit!" Emmett yelled back.

"I can't help it if you suck gigantic donkey balls, Emmett! Stop whining!" Bella laughed.

"You fucking cheat and you know it!" he yelled, throwing his controller to the ground and ripping hers out of her hands.

"Hey, you asshole!" Bella looked at him in shock.

"Get out of my room!" Emmett bellowed, and pointed toward the door where I stood.

Bella stared at him for a minute before getting up off the floor and stalking past me out of the room. Jacob started to follow until I blocked him. We stared at each other for a minute with narrowed eyes, neither of us saying anything, until I finally let him pass. Then I looked at Emmett who was staring at me. He didn't say anything. He just got up and slammed the door in my face.

Thank God, the asshole would be going away to college next year. He was only slightly less annoying to me than Jacob Black, and at least Bella would finally get some peace.

The drive to the movie theater was pretty awkward to say the least. We went to see a movie called "Face Punch" and Jacob kept trying to put his arm around her or hold her hand. Bella would always move _just in time_ to deflect it, and it made me laugh. The one time he actually got his arm around her - she got up and said she had to pee.

He was pissed.

"Why don't you just leave her alone? I whispered to him while Bella was gone. "She's obviously not interested in you."

"She likes me. She just doesn't know it yet," he growled, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Right," I scoffed. And that was the last we spoke to each other that night.

The days went on like this. Eventually, Bella started spending more time with Jacob and less time with me. One night in April, my parents had a huge fight and I tried to call Bella but she didn't answer her phone. I went to her house, but her Chevelle (Which Charlie had finally handed over to her) wasn't there either. I even went by the diner and still no luck. So, I went to our spot - alone - and drank a couple beers that I had swiped from the fridge at home.

The strange thing was, the beer didn't make me feel any better. It wasn't the same without Bella there to crack jokes and make fun of me.

I missed her.

The next day, Bella called me and I found out that Jacob had taken her to some stupid tribal ceremony thing on his reservation. She apologized, saying that she didn't have a cell phone signal out there or she would have come home to hang out with me. Stupid Jacob Black, if he hadn't taken her with him, she would've been with _me_.

The school year ended and Bella went to Arizona again for the summer. She called me on my birthday in June and even mailed me tickets to a Seattle Sonics game as a gift. As the summer went on, we spoke less and less. I never saw Jacob Black around town either, which I thought was funny since up until the summer, I was constantly running into him.

I got my braces off my teeth right after my birthday and Bella said she would get hers off right after she got back from Arizona. I was looking forward to showing her my teeth and seeing hers as well.

Bella came back to Forks the weekend before school started but I didn't get a chance to see her because I was at basketball practice. I was on the Varsity team now and it involved more practice than before. She told me she would see me at school on Monday and we made plans to go to lunch together. She also said there was something she needed to tell me but she wanted to do it in person.

I never could have prepared myself for what I saw on that Monday morning or what she was about to tell me.

That was the day everything went to shit and screwed up my whole world.

The day Bella got HOT.

* * *

**A/N:** **I didn't do a diary for Bella this time because she's stopped writing in her diary. And if it seems like I'm skipping over a lot of stuff (like the concert), it's because I'm trying to get to the good stuff. I will most likely talk about it later as a flashback. You'll see...**

**Thanks for reading! xo**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

All songs and song lyrics belong to their respective owners, not to me.

* * *

**A/N: The action is just about to start. Lemons will be arriving soon...not this chapter though. Alright, enough blabbing...**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_"What doesn't kill me, only_

_Will make me stronger in my head_

_In my head_

_'Cause when it feels like a kick in the teeth I can take it_

_Throw your stones and you won't see me breakin'_

_Say what you want, take your shots_

_You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth"_

_**Kick in the Teeth – Papa Roach**_

_Junior Year…._

As soon as I arrived at school I was looking for her black Chevelle. I found it parked at the far end of the lot and parked my Nova next to it. I grabbed my backpack and headed up toward my first class - Government. The teacher, Mr. Parker called roll and when he got to towards the end, he called Bella's name and my heart thumped with anticipation. I looked around the room as no one answered to the name.

_Where the hell is she?_

Bella's friend Angela, sitting a couple seats away from me had jumped up from her seat to yell to the teacher, "Oh um…Mr. Parker, she's at the gym getting ready for the pep rally." As she pushed her glasses up her nose, she added, "Sorry sir, I forgot that she asked me to tell you."

Mr. Parker nodded in agreement. "Fine, fine. Well, then class…" he began as he started the lecture.

After a few minutes, my buddy and fellow teammate, Garrett, leaned over to me. "Dude!" he whispered. "Did you see Bella yet?" I shook my head and he continued, "Oh my freakin lord! I saw her by the cafeteria right before class…wow!"

"She told me she got her braces off," I whispered back, thinking that was what he was talking about. My mom and dad said that I looked like a new person with _my_ braces off, and I'd definitely gotten plenty of stares and giggles from the ladies…

"No dude….just….shit…you have to see for yourself," he said, grinning and shaking his head.

Suddenly, I couldn't wait for this stupid class to end so I could go find her. But I would have to wait until after the pep rally that we were going to after this class. All of the football, basketball, and baseball players were supposed to be introduced as part of the whole show. Usually the school's cheerleaders would do some cheers too, and the dance team would do some dance for the school to get everyone pumped for the upcoming year, and then we would go back to class. Last year's was pretty fun, but I was still anxious to see Bella. Going by what her friend Angela said, she was already at the gym getting things ready there so I figured she was on some decorating committee or something.

When government class finally ended, Garrett and I walked down to the gym and took our place with the rest of the Varsity Basketball team, where they waited in the hallway at the entrance to the gym. I looked inside the open doors of the gym but there were so many students that I knew there was no way I would find her. The cheerleaders passed by us - a couple of them pausing as they went by and smiling flirtatiously at me - and went out to the middle of the gym floor first, doing a couple cheers. Then the Varsity and JV football teams were introduced and seated along the bleachers. The Varsity and JV baseball teams were next. Finally, we were ushered out to the middle of the gym as the students cheered for us and the JV team followed behind us. After the cheers finally died down, we were seated on the bleachers as well. Then the announcement came.

"….And now please welcome… your Forks High School Dance Team…"

I saw our mascot- _The Timberwolf-_ come out first in his black wolf suit. I already knew it was Mike Newton's stupid ass, because I had seen him in the hallway earlier, without the head on.

The music came on and Mike came running out with a stream of girls following behind him. The song was "**Pump It**" by the Black Eyed Peas, and the girls were all wearing very tight, grey, Forks High t-shirts and little shorts with stripes along the hem. Also, they all had on black Converse sneakers and striped sport socks, pulled up to their knees. I spotted Bella's friend Alice Brandon as one of the first girls to come out. You couldn't miss that tiny ball of energy anywhere. Alice saw me as well, and gave me a quick wave before turning her head to her right to look at another girl on the dance team. They started their routine, and I finally saw who Alice which fellow dance-team member she was looking at. Bella. As the music echoed throughout the gym, I found my self paralyzed with shock as the breath whooshed from my lungs.

She was right in front of me dancing and thrusting her hips forward every time the song said "Pump it" in said little shorts. I almost stopped breathing as I took in the sight of her long, lean legs that I'd never seen before. She hadn't really changed all that much, but something was definitely…different about her. Her hair was long and wavy and it took me a second to realize that it was the first time I'd ever really seen her with her hair down. Her body was the same, but different at the same time. I always knew she had boobs before (yes, I looked a few times. Sue me.), and they weren't much different now…okay, maybe they were. They were still small, but they were _definitely_ there. Then there was her ass….shaking… ten feet from my face… in those little tiny shorts….Christ….

Suddenly, I'd become religious?

Garrett elbowed me. "Told you!" he yelled, laughing as I gaped at her. The song continued to blast through the gym's shitty sound system, and the girls continued to get into their well-performed routine. It wasn't sleezy like the routines that the Varsity cheerleaders always did. It actually looked a lot like the routines I'd seen the girls do at the Sonics games.

_Jesus_, I didn't even know she could dance like that! She was moving perfectly to the beat along with the other girls, swaying her hips, stomping her feet when the other girls did, kicking her leg high when they did... Then they did some ballet type move where they spun around on one foot and then landed in a crouch with one leg out to the side and then moved their asses up in the air and back down again. She was looking everywhere but at me. Then _finally_, right in the middle of the song, she locked eyes with me and winked. That's when I knew one thing for sure.

I wanted her. Badly.

She continued to torture me for the rest of the song as they continued their routine, dancing around Mike's dumb ass and even running up to the bleachers and swinging their arms like something out of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The rest of the school was clapping and howling at their performance. Everyone loved it. They finished off by forming a big 'F' formation in the middle of the floor and then falling to the floor. I watched as Mike helped Bella to get up and then smacked her hard on the ass after she had turned to walk away. I started to get up so I could go punch him in the face, when Garrett pulled me back to my chair. Somehow he knew what I was planning. It didn't matter though because Bella turned back around and gave Mike the "Bitch Face" that I'd come to know very well over the time I'd known her. She was one tough girl. She made him walk ahead of her and then smacked him on the back of the head just before they exited the gym. That's my girl!

My. Girl.

**X-X-X**

The pep rally seemed to go on forever after Bella and her dance team left the floor. As soon as the principal dismissed us, I was out the door looking for her. My feet skidded to a halt when I found her at the end of the hall, locked in an embrace with none other than Jacob fucking Black. He had chopped off his long hair and gotten a bit more muscular. At first I thought it was just a friendly hug, but then he kissed her. Hard. And she didn't pull away.

I wanted to puke.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I later found out that she was in every single one of my classes. I was so screwed.

Jacob met her in the hallway after each class and walked her to the next. It was fucking sickening. Bella tried talking to me during each class but I was so pissed that I ignored her.

How could she not tell me she was dating Jacob Black? How long had she been keeping this from me? And now that I wanted her, I despised Jacob Black a thousand fucking times more.

Bella and I never went to lunch that day, obviously. And, as soon as the final bell rang, I tore ass out of there and got in my car before speeding away.

A few minutes after I left the school, my cell phone rang. It was Bella. I ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When I finally got home, I stormed up to my room and slammed the door. I sat down on the edge of my bed and after a few deep breaths I decided to torture myself and listen to the message.

"_Hey Edward…..So….I guess you figured out what I was going to tell you…..I don't really know why you're so mad…. I mean…I know you don't really like Jake but….just…I…I really wanted to see you and talk to you today…and...I missed you over the summer…If you would've called me, then maybe…nevermind…um….ok…just don't be mad at me….call me…Please?"_

Then the line went dead.

_She missed me?_

I didn't know what to do. It was a complete cluster-fuck. There was no way I could tell her how I now felt about her, but I really wanted to talk to her. I just didn't know what to say. Why couldn't I have felt this strongly about her before she met Jacob?

_Doesn't even matter because she wants Jacob, not you, Jackass!_

She wants Jacob, but I want her, and she misses me and wants me to call her… Jesus, this was hopeless.

I tossed my phone on the bed and scrubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, groaning because as soon as I closed my eyes, the images of the Bella I saw today, came flooding back to me. And what's worse, I realized at that moment that I would not only have to look at her in every class, every day, but also at every single one of my basketball games. Because the dance team goes along with the Varsity basketball team. To. Every. Game.

_Great._ Like I said, complete cluster-fuck.

I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I tried to scour my mind for any clues that she might have ever given me that she was interested in me, but that's what was so confusing about Bella. Besides our awkward kiss last year, she never blatantly flirted with me like other girls did. Most of the time she was shy and reserved. Still, I couldn't help but hold on to some small hope that she felt _something_ for me.

_Maybe I could just wait and see. Or maybe I should just put the moves on her and see how she reacts. Screw Jacob Black. She was mine first anyway._

_What the hell am I talking about?_

I decided to go take a hot shower (which turned into a cold shower) and try to get my head clear. It didn't work. When I got out of the shower, I felt like complete shit, run over by a steam roller. So I decided to just say "Fuck It" to this day and sleep for a little bit. Maybe I was getting a cold or something. It didn't take me long to pass out.

**X-X-X**

I hadn't gone to school in three days. Yes I was moping, but I was also sicker than shit. My stomach was all twisted up in knots, and I knew I had a fever, so I thought I was having some kind of hallucination when I saw Bella peeking in the doorway to my room. I'd guessed by the dimness of the room that it was early evening, as I squinted my one eye that had opened at the sound of my door squeaking open.

God, it really was her. She was wearing a tight white tank top and jeans. Tight fitting jeans.

_Twist the knife a little more why don't you?_

"What do you want?" I mumbled rudely.

"Is this why you haven't called me back? Or were you just flat out ignoring me?" she seethed.

"Go away," I grumbled, throwing a pillow over my head and turning onto my side to face away from her. The next thing I knew she was pulling the pillow off my head and glaring at me. I saw her hand come toward me and I flinched because I thought she was going to slap me again. She giggled at this and slowly put her cold, tiny hand on my sweaty forehead.

"Jesus, Edward! You're burning up! You really _are_ sick!" Her brows furrowed and she frowned. She looked so sad and it bothered me. "Um...I'll go ask your mom for some Advil or Tylenol or something." Then she ran out of the room and down the stairs. She was back a minute later with a pill bottle and a glass of orange juice. She held out two pills to me and I hesitantly took them because I was being a brat and I was still pissed at her for not telling me about her little boyfriend. I sat up and swallowed the pills, along with the whole glass of orange juice. My stomach didn't hurt anymore so I was able to drink it all. "Scoot over," she ordered after staring at me for a moment.

"What?"

"My mom does this_ thing_ for me whenever I have a fever. Just trust me, okay?"

"Fine," I sighed and scooted over on my bed. Bella hopped on and sat back against the headboard after she kicked off her Converse so that they fell onto the floor. She grabbed my pillow and put it in her lap, patting it for me to lye down. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow, to which she rolled her eyes.

"Do you want to feel better or not?" she asked, patting the pillow again. I really was exhausted and my head was pounding so why not, right? I finally gave in and plopped my head down on the pillow in her lap, folding my arms across my chest. From some mysterious place, she produced a cool, wet wash cloth and put it on my forehead. It felt so fucking good, but I still didn't understand what she was even doing at my house. Wouldn't Jacob dipshit Black be upset that she was here? I would be if she were _my_ girlfriend.

"I could've done this myself," I bitched with my eyes closed.

"Shhh….shut up, brat," she whispered.

I chuckled, before vaguely feeling her shift a little, then hearing my TV click on. She turned the channel to what I instantly recognized as a basketball game by the sounds of the buzzer and sneakers squeaking across the hardwood floor. If the game was on, that meant it was at least after 7pm.

"I don't feel like watching TV, Bella," I whined.

"It's not for you, butt-head. I wanted to watch the Lakers get their asses beat. Now shut up and go to sleep before I ask your dad to give you an enema."

"That's really gross, Swan."

She giggled at this and it made me smile a bit. I opened my eyes to look up at her and instantly wished I hadn't. She looked so fucking gorgeous as she concentrated on the game. The cute little line between her eyebrows when she was focused intently, and the way she was biting her lip... I had to close my eyes again before she realized I was staring at her.

"Where's Jacob? Does he know you're here?" I asked sleepily.

"SHHHH! I'm trying to watch the game…" she hissed after she flicked my ear.

"Bossy," I mumbled. I heard her snicker. The next thing I knew, she was running her fingers through my hair with both hands. It felt so damn good and so relaxing. I was asleep in what felt like seconds.

**X-X-X**

**Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

_What the hell is that buzzing sound?_

**Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

_There it is again. I don't want to open my eyes. I'm too comfortable right now. Finally feeling better…._

**Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

_Agh! Shut that damn buzzing up. Mmmmm…what smells so good?_

_**"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"**_

_That is definitely Chief Swan's voice. Wait…what the hell is Chief Swan doing in my room?_

My eyes snapped open to see Bella, lying next to me on my bed, talking on her cell phone while she was pinned underneath my right arm and leg.

"Dad, I'm over at Alice's house. I spent the night there. Sorry I forgot to tell you," she lied into her cell phone, biting her lip as usual. That's what she always did when she was nervous or upset or concentrating...and apparently, when she was lying.

Her eyes met mine and she held up one finger to her lips telling me to stay quiet. Then she winked at me. She really was trying to kill me. And my dick. I could feel its rock hardness straining against my boxers… and Bella's stomach.

_Oh crap._

_**"Next time, call me or leave a note or something, Bells. I almost sent out a search party for you!"**_

_Ah. That was enough to kill my boner._

Bella rolled her eyes. "Ok Dad, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." She looked at me again and bit her lip.

_Damnit. There it goes again._

_**"Alright, see you later kid."**_

_Boner-dead._

"Bye Dad." With that, she switched off her phone and held it to her chest, which made my eyes focus there. She was still dressed in the same clothes from last night. _Last night? She had spent the night with me?_

Bella cleared her throat. "Um…I need to go, so…." She patted my arm that was still draped across her waist and clutching her back. I removed my arm and leg from her body and she slowly slid off the side of the bed and stood up to stretch. When she raised her arms above her head, her tank top rose up and revealed about four inches of skin including her belly button.

Jesus, she really, _really_ was trying to kill me.

She bent down and picked up her keys off the carpet next to my bed.

"Do my parents know you're here?" I asked her.

"Well, your mom was the one who let me in last night, but they left for some conference your dad had in Seattle. She said she told you they were leaving. You don't remember?"

"No. I've been kind of out of it for a couple days."

"Yeah, so I've noticed. You were pretty bad last night, that's why I stayed. Anyway, they won't be back until Sunday, so if you need anything in the next couple days just call me okay?" She looked genuinely concerned. "I mean it. Don't be a stubborn ass!"

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for staying with me," I murmured quietly.

She smiled and bit her lip. "Sure. Anytime." She hesitated for a minute before she walked out of my room, closing the door behind her.

After I heard her Chevelle start up and drive away, I grabbed my cell phone off the floor. There were ten missed calls from Bella over the past two days. I had never even heard the phone ring. After staring at the phone for a minute, I realized that I had somehow shut the ringer off after I had listened to her voicemail the other day.

I still couldn't believe that Bella had spent the whole night with me in my room. Was she really that worried about me? The thought made me smile. And it was obvious that she hadn't told Jacob she was at my house. That thought made me smile like a smug bastard.

* * *

**A/N: Awwwww...that was sweet of Bella, yes? And it looks like Edward has finally realized what he wants. But what will happen next? Ah...you shall see.**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by QueenBeee78.

©2010 QueenBeee78 . All rights reserved worldwide.

* * *

**A/N: Edward is going to get a little wake up call here. ;D Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"_Crawl on me_

_Sink into me_

_Die for me_

_The living dead girl_

_Blood on her skin_

_Dripping with sin_

_Do it again_

_The living dead girl"_

_**Living Dead Girl – Rob Zombie**_

Still Junior Year…

September

It had been weeks since Bella spent the night at my house. Nothing really happened between us in that time, except that we were talking again - only in class and occasionally on the phone. Bella was having a hard time with Algebra, so she always called me for help. The Basketball season hadn't really started yet, so I didn't get to spend time with her on the bus trips to the away games yet, but I'd planned to.

I unfortunately still had to witness her and Jacob together - between classes - which was still sickening as hell. Bella never seemed to be the one who initiated anything physical between them though. It was always Jacob, throwing his arm around her, smacking her ass, shoving his tongue down her throat – which I have to say, didn't look like she was enjoying too much.

On her birthday, I tried calling her three times but she never answered. The next day, she told me she'd spent the day on that fucking reservation with Jacob and once again, had no signal. It seemed like that was happening a lot lately, and the dirty looks he gave me at school didn't go unnoticed. I was starting to think that he'd been purposely taking her there all the time so that I couldn't call her, and it was really pissing me off. Still, he was her boyfriend and there was nothing I could do about that.

After a month of moping, I got fed up and decided it was time to see what else was out there, girl-wise. Tanya Denali had been flirting relentlessly with me in our Health Education class, so I figured what the hell. I mean, she was pretty – not gorgeous like Bella, but still – with long strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. I needed something or someone to distract me from thinking about Bella.

It was that reason alone that I asked Tanya to go out with me to the movies, and she eagerly accepted. I could tell Bella hated Tanya by the look of disgust on her face in class that day. It kind of made me laugh because I had forgotten how much she hated Tanya. She told me once last year that Tanya was a huge slut, and that I should stay away from her, but I figured it was just rumors and shit like that. I'd heard the same thing from some other people, but I didn't care. People said things about me that weren't true, so I could give Tanya the benefit of the doubt.

Still, I noticed that Bella was acting weird again after that. I tried – unsuccessfully – to find out what her problem was. What the hell did she care if Tanya was or wasn't a slut. She had Jacob and they were doing God-knows-what, so why should it matter if I hooked up with Tanya or not?

The date itself was okay, nothing to brag about, and eventually we ended up at her house. One thing led to another and we had sex on her bed.

And it was horrible.

I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and it was pretty much over before it even started.

Fucking, embarrassing.

She never talked to me again, and thankfully, she never said anything about it at school so no rumors came of it. I told Garrett what happened though, and after he thoroughly laughed his ass off, he came to my rescue and lent me some videos from his porno stash. Some of them were more hilarious than helpful, and he gave me some advice of his own as well.

As the days turned into weeks, I noticed a change in Bella and Jacob's relationship. They were constantly fighting. She wouldn't talk to me about it no matter how hard I tried, but I figured it was because he was such a cocky, smartass, not to mention, a huge flirt…with girls other than Bella. It seemed like whenever I even mentioned Jacob's name to Bella, she would get pissy and change the subject. And she became especially bitchy when the foreign exchange student from Italy – Heidi Volturi – asked me out.

Heidi wanted to eat the diner… where Bella still worked.

Worst idea in the history of bad ideas.

She refused to be my waitress, claiming she was busy and throwing dirty looks at Heidi. I didn't know what the fuck her problem was. I'd heard that Bella and Jacob were already sleeping together, so it made no sense to me as to why she was acting like such a bitch. I felt like crawling out of my skin by the way Bella was glaring at me. It was like she wanted to scratch my eyeballs out with a spoon or something. Then when she didn't know I was looking at her, she had the saddest expression on her face.

Anyway, the one date with Heidi was pretty much a bust as well. She practically molested me on the way back from the Concert in Port Angeles – which I was not complaining about. The sex was decent since I lasted more than ten seconds this time, but as soon as we were done, she went crazy on me. I mean like psycho crazy. She told me she wanted to meet my parents and go to the same college as me…she even had names picked out for our future children. So, when I told her that was definitely NOT happening, she started screaming at me in Italian and telling me that she was going to have her father cut my balls off.

That was a fun date…let me tell you.

After that, I decided to lay low for a while where girls were concerned. Basketball season had started up at the end of October and between school, practice, and games, I was pretty fucking busy. As I'd hoped, I got to spend lots of time with Bella on the bus rides to the games at other schools, as well as during the home games (when Jacob wasn't there hanging all over her). We hung out like a couple of old pals, laughing and joking, and it was as easy as breathing. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some serious sexual tension between us, and I definitely had a hard time with my self control after watching her dancing…in her tiny shorts… throughout the entire game. My dick was about to stage mutiny on me toward the end of the season in February. Still, Bella never made any attempt to stray from Jacob, and for that, I couldn't be mad at her. She was a good girl, and if she was happy with him, then I would just have to move on.

A couple days before Valentines Day, one of the Varsity cheerleaders – Sasha Jenks - asked me if I was doing anything for Valentine's Day that Friday night. I'd taken the hint and decided to ask her out. We made plans to go to the movies (yeah, there was not much else to do in fucking Forks) and have dinner beforehand. I figured that Bella would have something snarky to say about it, since Sasha had a reputation around school for being…_outgoing_, but I wasn't prepared for the reaction I got.

No reaction at all.

Bella was completely stone-faced and still when I told her I was going on a date with Sasha. She was sitting at the desk next to me, staring straight ahead at the wall. I asked her if she was feeling alright. After a long wait, she just barely nodded. It kind of freaked me out until she turned back to me finally, gave me a weak smile, got up and picked up her books, and walked out of class.

I tried talking to her all day, but she just ignored me. And she continued to be quiet and strange toward me for the rest of the week, saying that she had a lot on her mind and that she didn't want to talk about it. I really wished I was a mind-reader so that I could've known what she was thinking.

The night of my date with Sasha, we had just finished eating dinner and were pulling up to the movie theater for the 9:35 show, when my cell phone buzzed. It was Bella calling. I hesitated for a second, but something told me to answer it.

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" I snapped.

"Edward!" The little voice that I didn't recognize yelled. There was loud music in the background and people whistling and yelling. It sounded like she was at a party. "It's Alice! I need your help with Bella!"

"What? What do you mean? Is she okay?" My heart started pounding wildly at the thought that she might be hurt.

"Oh my God…hold on," Alice groaned and then yelled away from the phone, "Bella, no! Stop it!" Then I heard Bella cracking up in the background before Alice came back to the phone. "Edward, _please_ help me. She's smashed out of her mind and Newton's got her playing Strip Poker with some guys from the football team and she's already lost her pants! I gotta get her out of here!"

_What the fuck!..._

"Fuck! Alice, I'm on a date! Why don't you just call Jacob?"

"I _can't _call him. He's the reason she's drunk!"

"What? What are you talking about? He got her drunk and then left her there?" My teeth clenched and my jaw tightened. I could've snapped Jacob's fucking neck with my bare hands right then.

"No! They had a huge fight and he left. Then she got drunk and now…..ugh! Should I just call her dad?"

"No, no. Don't do that." If Charlie knew what she was up to, he'd probably ground her for life, or send her to a convent and force her to become a nun. "I'll come and get her. Where are you guys?"

"We're at a party at Newton's house. It's on Sycamore Lane. You can't miss it. There's tons of cars out front."

"I know where it is, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Oh God, please hurry! I don't like the way Newton's been looking at her."

"Alice, keep him away from her!"

"I'm trying!" She sounded like she was about to cry. I looked over to Sasha who looked completely annoyed with her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"Edward, I see some of my friends over there so I'll just find a ride home," Sasha said as she reached for the door handle.

"Sorry, Sasha, I-"

"Whatever!" she spat, getting out of the car and slamming the door, then walking around the corner to the front of the movie theater. I threw the car into reverse and backed up trying to figure out what Jacob and Bella could've fought about to get her upset enough to drink that much. As I sped of toward Newton's house, I imagined a drunk Bella dancing on top of a couch taking off her clothes, while half the football team watched. Shit. This was _not_ good. Who knew what a bunch of horny teenage guys would do to her…not to mention Newton's dumb ass. I'd fucking kill him.

It only took me about five minutes to get to Newton's House. I parked as close as I could, which ended up being in his front yard. I jumped out of the car and ran up his front steps. The house was packed with kids from school so I pushed my way through the crowd, searching for Bella. I heard some guys off in the distance yelling, _"Yeaaaaaah! Take it off, girl! Wooooooooo!"_

_Shit! Fucking shit!_

I followed the voices to the kitchen and found Bella dancing on top of the kitchen counter in a little light blue t-shirt dress that barely covered her ass when she had her arms up in the air like she did. She was dancing to _"Living Dead Girl"_ by Rob Zombie and all eyes were on her. It was so damn obvious she was drunk by the way she would throw her arms down and her head would flop back with her eyes closed. She could barely even stand up and she was barefoot. Alice was clawing at her to get down, while Bella swatted her hands away - laughing hysterically.

As I looked around at the sea of male faces that gaped at her, fury flashed through me. Mike Newton happened to glance in my direction, and one look at my face sent him fleeing from the room.

"Thank God you're here!" Alice shouted to me as she appeared by my side. I didn't hear anything else she said because I was already charging forward toward Bella. I grabbed her by the ankle and her eyes snapped open to look down at me.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyy Eddieeeeeeeee! Sup?" she slurred, giggling as she stumbled backward a bit.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing? Get down from there. You're drunk," I angrily ordered her.

She bent forward and whispered, "No shit, Sherlock!" before standing back up and gazing at her fingers as if she were mesmerized. "Sherrrrrlock. That sounds funny when you say it slow. Sherrrrrrlock. Rhymes with cock. Cock. 's Newton? He has a cock. Newton! Show us yer cock!" she laughed as her eyelids sagged.

"Get down from there, now!"

"Uh ooooooooooh you guysssssss! Eduardo's mad…I'm in troublllllllllle…" she mocked me and stumbled forward and then back again as she cracked up laughing.

"C'mon Bella, let's go." I reached my hands up for her to take and she flinched.

"No! I'm having fun!" she spat at me. "Why don't you… go back to you're little whorrrrrree. Mkay? I'm stayin riiiiiiiiight here." She stomped her foot and almost fell over and off the counter. "Whoa, whoa….hahaha…Whoa there."

God, she was so fucking tanked. I gaped at her for a second because I had never _ever_ seen her this trashed before. Suddenly, she started lifting up her dress with her hands, showing everyone her lacey, black, boy-short panties underneath. The guys started howling again and that was it for me. I reached up and pulled her by both legs until she fell forward and over my left shoulder. Alice threw a jacket over Bella's ass, and I carried her like that - caveman style- out of the house and to my car. She was yelling at cussing at me the entire time.

"Put me dowwwwn!" she growled. "Edward! C'mon…I wasn't gonna show em' anything….I was kiddinnngggg….Whassss yer problem, anyway? Fuck!"

When I finally got to my car, I set her tiny body down on the pavement and leaned her up against the side of my car. Alice was right next to us, thanking me. We tried putting Bella's leggings back on, but she kept fighting us, kicking and cursing, until we gave up.

"Where should I take her?" I asked Alice as Bella was leaning against my chest with her eyes closed and giggling like an idiot.

"I don't know. If you take her home, her dad will kill her. And I can't take her to my house either. My parents would flip!"

"I guess I could take her to my house." I knew my mom was in Port Angeles for the weekend at an Interior Designer's convention, and my dad was working a night shift in the E.R., so I had the house to myself.

"Ok," Alice agreed. "I'll drive Bella's car to my house and then I'll call her mom and disguise my voice."

I nodded and Bella started laughing. "Oooooooh Alice," she sang. "You are sushaaa liarrrrrr…I am tellin' Santaaaaa…"

Alice and I both rolled our eyes. Super-drunk Bella was kind of funny but annoying at the same time. Alice took off in Bella's Chevelle and I turned to the task of getting Bella into my car. The minute I started opening the passenger side door, she was nuzzling her face into my neck.

"Fuck, you smell good," she groaned, making my dick twitch in my pants. She put her arms around my neck and started biting the skin there. It was fucking agony to have to push her away when her tongue started doing magical things there, but I did it anyway and she growled in frustration as I buckled her into her seat.

By the time I got into car, she'd already passed out. I couldn't help but stare at her legs on the drive to my house. Her dress was so damn short that all I could see was long, creamy white legs. Legs that I wanted wrapped around me and…

_Stop it. Not like this._

We pulled up to my house and as soon as I scooped her up out of the passenger seat, she woke up and started humming some song that I didn't recognize and giggling as I carried her (bridal style this time) into my house. I started to take her into the guest room when she started throwing a tantrum.

"NO! I wanna stay with yoooooooou! Your bed," she demanded in her still-drunk state, pouting with her bottom lip like a four-year-old. I rolled my eyes and picked her up again to carry her to my room. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!" she clapped.

This was going to be a long ass night if she didn't pass out again soon.

It took me forever to get her upstairs. I set her down on my bed and she got up on her knees at the side edge of the bed immediately after I tried to walk out of the room.

"Hey, where're you going?" she asked with a furrowed brow as she pulled on my arm to bring me back to her.

"I'm gonna go make you some coffee," I sighed, mentally exhausted, as I stood directly in front of her.

"I don't want coffee, Edward… I want you," she said clearly, and in a deep husky voice that I'd never heard before.

_What...?_

_That_ voice was like a direct line to my dick. And he was listening. Intently.

_How in the hell did she sober up so quickly?_

As I gaped at her in shock, she grabbed my hips and pulled me toward her. Due to the height of my bed, our hips collided and our faces came impossibly close as I looked down at her. I groaned at the contact but I knew I couldn't do anything about it right then. It wouldn't be right.

"Bella, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying." I stared into her sexy brown eyes as she licked her lips, looking up at me through her lashes.

_Fucking A….._

She ran her hands slowly up my chest and around my neck, pulling me forward until our noses were touching. "I know you want me, Edward. And I can't stay away from you anymore," she breathed against my lips. It was a combination of her words and the way she said them that made me briefly lose my sense of reason. Before I could stop myself, my hands were on her hips. I ran them slowly down the sides of her thighs and up her dress until I felt her lacy underwear. Slowly, I grazed my thumbs along the hemline and let my fingers roam backward, under the lacy fabric, until I was cupping her perfect bare ass in my hands.

"Mmmm…" she hummed against my jaw. It made me pull her hips toward mine until she was pressed up against my raging hard on. The little voice in the back of my head started screamin to me - _STOP! SHE'S DRUNK!_

I pushed her hips away from me a little. Bella wasn't having any of that. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head down until my lips crashed down to hers. It was like a bittersweet relief to my soul. She kissed me feverishly and immediately her tongue was in my mouth. So many times I'd imagined kissing her like this, among other scenarios. Except for one problem. I could taste the alcohol on her breath, and that made me pull back.

This wasn't right.

I wanted to kiss her, and have hot sex with her, but not when she was drunk. What if she didn't really want this? And what about Jacob?

"Bella, stop," I tried telling her against her lips. She let go of my lips and started attacking my neck with her mouth, while she ran her fingers through my hair with one hand, and scratched her nails down my shoulder with the other.

_Oh, fuck…._

Somehow I managed to pull back from her grasp and we both started panting while I held her at arms length. It took us both a minute to calm down. Slowly, Bella's expression changed from lusty to sad.

"You…don't….want me?" she whispered, sounding hurt.

"Believe me…I want you, Bella….just….not like this."

She stared at me for a long moment while her bottom lip pouted, and I fought to resist the urge to just take her right then and there.

"Okay….fine," she huffed, dropping her arms to her sides. When it was clear she wasn't going to attack me again, I let go of her arms, and she flopped herself back on the bed like a dead fish.

_Holy shit that was close. And now…. I need a long, cold shower._

I went downstairs to get away from the succubus and make her some coffee. When I came back, she was asleep on my bed, curled up by the side that was up against the wall. I covered her up with a blanket and sat on the other side of the bed to watch some TV.

Hours later, she woke up and seemed completely sober. Once I fully awakened myself, I re-heated the coffee and gave it to her, along with some Advil for the headache I was sure she would have later.

"Thanks. What time is it?" Bella asked as she scratched her head.

"It's a little after two a.m."

"Oh." She took a sip from her cup and looked around the room. "My mouth feels like a desert and I don't remember getting here," she said quietly.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that." _Thank God I didn't do what she wanted to earlier._

"How _did_ I get here?"

"I uh…picked you up from Newton's house…when Alice couldn't get you to keep your clothes on."

"Me?" she scoffed at me in disbelief. Something must've clicked in her mind, because she looked down at her bare legs and cursed under her breath. "Oh God…" she groaned. "Please tell me I didn't..."

"Close call there, Swan. I had no idea you were such an exhibitionist," I teased, causing her to wince with shame. When she didn't come back with a snarky comment, I decided to find out just what the hell caused her to go crazy like that.

"So, what happened tonight? I mean…why _did_ you get so drunk?" She was smacking her lips together, so I handed her a piece of gum from off my desk to help her with her cotton mouth, before I sat down next to her again.

She laughed. "Um…I broke up with Jacob."

I fought off a smile, but not very well. "Oh really? Why?"

"Would you like to see what he gave me for Valentine's Day?" She cocked her head to the side and smirked.

"What is it?"

She reached into her bra, pulled out a small roll of condoms, and threw them to me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked her as I looked at the roll. They were Magnums. Why would he give her these as a Valentine's gift? What a complete asshole.

"Nope. Not kidding," Bella continued. "Real nice, huh? I mean, he's constantly badgering me for sex, and I just…it's not that I'm not ready to do it, it's just...I feel like my first time won't be special if it's with him. I don't know. Does that sound stupid?"

_She's still a virgin? So the rumor at school wasn't true… Well, shit._

"No, that doesn't sound stupid at all. Jacob's just a little _dick_ that's all." Bella almost spit out her coffee on that last part. "What's so funny?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Nothing, its just...that's what I called him when he gave me the condoms. Little dick." She started cracking up. "He can't even wear those things. I don't know what the hell he was thinking, but he's definitely not THAT BIG," she chuckled.

I tensed up, thinking about how she could know his size unless she had seen or felt him. "Thanks for the mental picture Bella," I winced.

"Sorry, it's just funny. He was constantly flashing me and I just wanted to laugh each time. Fucking idiot." She shook her head. "And besides, he's been hanging out with this girl named Leah who lives on his reservation, and he'll probably end up boinking her tomorrow anyway if he hasn't already," she shrugged. "So…was your first time special? I mean if you don't mind me asking?..."

I cleared my throat. "What?"

"Oh come on. Don't tell me _you're_ a virgin, Edward."

I looked at her with narrowed eyes, unsure how to talk to her about it. "Um…it was…alright I guess…"

"Oh."

I didn't know if she was expecting me to go into detail or what, but I decided it was best to change the subject.

"Can I give you my Valentine's gifts now? I know we're just friends but…"

"You…got me something?" she asked, skeptically.

"It's no big deal, really…I could always just save it for your birthday or whatever."

"No. I always like your gifts. Can I have it now?...Please?"

As if I could ever tell her no when she fucking said that one little word... If she ever found out how she had me wrapped around her finger like that, I'd be in a fuck-load of trouble.

She started squirming on the bed and I chuckled. I jumped off the bed and grabbed her presents off my desk. She traded me her mug of coffee for the little box and the large flat rectangle. I put the coffee mug on my bedside table before I sat down next to her again. She ripped the paper off the larger item to find the drawing I'd done of her.

"Did you draw this?" she whispered as she traced her fingertips over the pencil covered paper in the frame.

"Yeah, I uh…" I stammered. "I copied it from one of the yearbook photos…I hope you don't mind that I took your braces off your teeth when I sketched it." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

She sat in awe and I almost laughed. It was just a stupid drawing that I'd done with pencil. I didn't really think it was that good, but she'd always make comments about the doodles I would draw in class over the years so…

"You're so talented," she praised as she started at the picture.

"Hey, open the other one," I said, changing the subject.

She placed the drawing on my bedside table and picked up the smaller box, opening it to find a CD inside.

"How did you find this?" she asked in shock. It was a Smashing Pumpkins CD – _Pisces Iscariot_ - that was a rare find. She had been looking in all of the music stores for it for months.

"I have my ways," I smirked.

"Can we play it?" she asked eagerly.

"Hand it over," I nodded toward her hands and she gave me the CD case. I peeled the plastic off and took the yellow disc out, putting it into my CD player. As soon as the first song came on, Bella closed her eyes and smiled. It was a mellow slow song. I watched her as her head slightly swayed with the song. She was now sitting cross-legged up against the wall, with a pillow in her lap. Her long, wavy, chestnut brown hair framed her face and hung down over her shoulder, drawing my attention to her breasts.

The next song came on and it was a fast, loud guitar song. Once the song was over, she opened her eyes and beamed at me before jumping off the bed and running to me. She jumped up on her toes and threw her arms around my neck. It was just a hug, but she felt so good in my arms.

"Thank you. It's perfect, they're perfect," she whispered.

"You're welcome," I smiled.

She pulled back and looked up at me, her arms still around my neck, my arms around her waist. The room suddenly became hot as she stared up at me through her lashes. Her breathing became ragged and she licked her lips, making me gasp. My heart sputtered and I couldn't think straight.

"Edward, do you ever think about…," she said in that husky, breathy voice that drove me fucking nuts. I stared at her beautiful face, and recognized that she was waiting for me to make the first move. So I did.

I pulled her firmly to me and fused her lips to mine. After a few small tugs on her lips with my own, I pushed her mouth open with mine and sought out her tongue. Her breath still tasted faintly of alcohol and coffee, but the rest was all Bella. Cinnamon and sweet. Her hands tangled into my hair as we devoured each other's mouths.

I groaned and moved one hand back down to her hip. I wanted to feel her ass again, so I moved my hand under her dress and found it. I squeezed it gently and she moaned in my mouth and pressed hips forward, seeking my groin but just barely finding it with our height difference. I let go of her mouth and started kissing down her jaw.

Bella gripped my hair tightly as I assaulted her neck with my tongue, breathing heavily. I gripped both hands under her ass and picked her up so that I could take her back to the bed. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed her chest against mine. I could feel her breasts through my grey t-shirt and her thin dress, but I wanted to really feel her, skin to skin. I set her down on the bed and hovered between her legs. I supported my weight on my forearms as I kissed down her neck and over the swell of her breasts above the neck line of the dress.

Then, as if on cue for the worst cock-blocking ever, I heard the front door slam and my parent's voices, arguing downstairs. Bella and I both froze, my mouth on her cleavage, her hands up the back of my shirt, both our chests heaving as her legs stayed wrapped around me.

"Oh my God," Bella whispered. "Should I hide or something?"

"No. They won't come in here."

My door was already closed, something I always just did out of habit, so I wasn't worried about my parents walking in on us. Still, I knew nothing was going to happen tonight, with my mom and dad there in the house. So, with much irritation, I moved off of Bella, flicked off the lights, turned down the stereo, and lay down beside her. We stayed silent as her CD continued to play, another mellow song this time, and listened to the muffled sounds of my parents having their heated argument.

I found out that night through their argument that my mom had come home early from her convention and had gone to the hospital to visit my dad. Apparently, she'd walked into the staff lounge and found my dad kissing some blonde nurse. I felt ashamed to have Bella listen to this while we laid there trying to pretend that the music from her CD was loud enough to drown out the shouting.

We held each other tightly until the CD came to an end, while my mom went to her room, and my dad to the guest room, slamming their respective doors. As the moonlight illuminated my room, I looked to Bella, thinking she'd fallen asleep. She was awake, watching me intently and stroking the hair off my forehead. Then she leaned up and planted a soft kiss on my lips before snuggling into the crook of my neck, wrapping one arm over my waist and holding me tighter. I hadn't realized until then that my hands had been clenched the whole time. I slowly unclenched them and pulled her closer to me, grateful to have her there as I breathed in the sweet scent of her hair, until we fell asleep.

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**A/N: Drunk Bella is a little handsy, eh? I like it! So does Edward. ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

**A/N: I know I've been slacking on updating this story and it's mostly because of the end of this chapter. I didn't want it to be too graphic, so I've re-written it about a dozen times. I've finally just decided to say 'Fuck It' and move on since I've already written way past this and I'm anxious to move on with posting. Kay...here we go...**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"_Come on over and do the twist_

_Overdo it and have a fit_

_I love you so much it makes me sick_

_Come on over and shoot the shit_

_Beat me out of me_

_Beat me out of me_

_Beat me out of me_

_She keeps it pumpin' straight to my heart"_

_Aneurysm ~ Nirvana_

Junior Year (cont.)

February

The next morning, my mom left early for some design job in Port Angeles she'd been talking about for days, and my dad stayed in the guest room with the door closed. I quietly snuck Bella out of the house and dropped her off at her house after both her parents went to work. When I got back home, my dad was sitting on the couch in his boxers, drinking his usual glass of Scotch. I didn't really know what to say to my dad lately. I mean, I _knew_ what he was doing – sleeping around - and I hated him for it.

We had absolutely nothing in common anymore, not basketball, not girl-talk, nothing. Sure, he'd managed to make it to a few of my basketball games, but it wasn't the same as when I was younger. It was like I didn't even know who he was, like he was just some stranger in my house. So I tried to walk past him, but he called out to me, halting me in my tracks.

"Edward, sit down. I want to speak to you about something."

I rolled my eyes while my back was turned to him, before turning around and plopping down on the couch across from him.

"What's up?"

"Promise me you'll leave that girl alone."

"What?"

"That _Swan_ girl," he said with disgust. "Promise me you'll stay away from her."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What are you talking about?"

He laughed and took a giant swig of amber liquid from his glass. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Edward. I know she was in your room last night."

_Shit. Did he open the door and see her or something?_

"Nothing happened, I-"

"Good. Because, if you get her pregnant, that's it. Game over. _Life_ over. You'll be stuck with her for life."

"_Dad…_" I groaned. Jesus, did he think I was stupid and wouldn't use protection if we did have sex? I always used a condom in the past. And what the fuck were we having this conversation for anyway?

"No, you listen, Edward. _That girl_ will ruin your life. Trust me. I've seen the way she looks at you at the games, and the way you look at her… Don't be stupid."

"I'm _not _stupid," I growled. "And I like Bella a lot. We're friends but… if she wants to date me, I don't see what the big deal is."

"She's not the type of girl you just date," he continued. "She's the type of girl who wants to get married, have kids and all the bullshit that comes with it. Are you ready for all that right now?"

"I think you're overreacting…we're still in high school."

As if he hadn't heard a fucking word I said, he continued, ranting, "What you need to do…is play the field. Date as many girls as you can…_while_ you can." He took another large swig from his glass and added, "But make sure you wrap it up. That's how they trap you," he emphasized by pointing a shaky finger at me.

The last part of his comment enraged me. "Is that why you're always fucking around on Mom? Did she _trap_ you by having _me_? Or is it the fact that you just can't keep your dick in your pants?" I seethed.

He stood up and towered over me where I sat, yelling - "You shut your fucking mouth! You have no idea what it's like to be me…I should've listened to _my _father, and here I am trying to help you, but you're just not listening are you?"

I couldn't listen to that shit any longer. It was clear he was just rambling out of his ass, so I pushed him back until he stumbled and fell back on his couch, laughing. Quickly, I stormed out of the house, and drove for hours until I finally calmed down.

Bella called me several times over the weekend, but I didn't answer.

I probably should have talked to her about what happened and what my father said, but instead, I pulled away from her. I was embarrassed about the things he'd said about her, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings or drag her further into my nightmare. She had enough to deal with on her own.

The part that ate at me was that I didn't want to believe the words that my father had said, but I was afraid that what he'd told me might be partially true. Not the part about Bella trapping me – I knew she would never do something like that. But the part about how he should've listened to his father - that messed me up. Maybe he was right that we were too young to be dating each other. She wasn't like the girls I usually went for. She was special, and I'd probably just ruin that part of her.

I didn't want to ever be like my father and hurt Bella the way he'd hurt my mom. So, I figured the best thing to do was to stay away from her. She'd be better off not getting involved with me like that. I wanted her to be happy, and being with me would only do the opposite.

The days crawled by, my parents continued to argue, and Bella stopped calling me after the first week. I knew she was pissed and confused by my ignoring her, but that's just the way it had to be, for her sake. At school she tried to talk to me, but I stayed quiet and only gave her one word answers. She got the point pretty quickly and by the second week, she wouldn't even look in my direction.

I kept telling myself that it was for the best.

By the end of the second week, Alice was on my ass, and not in a good way.

"What the fuck is your problem, Cullen?" she demanded, jutting her teeny little fingers into the space between my armpit and my shoulder.

I shoved my books in my locker and muttered, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh don't be so dense," she seethed. "You _know_ what I'm talking about. What did you do to Bella?"

My brows furrowed. This tiny little elfin girl with her black dresses, blue and black spiky hair and silver Doc Martens was unleashing a fury on me that actually made me cringe. Didn't she know what had happened between Bella and I? I wasn't sure just how close she and Bella were, but I figured Bella would confide in someone, and I guessed that someone would be Alice.

"I didn't do anything."

"Then what happened? Why are you ignoring her?"

"It's complicated," I murmured.

Alice rolled her eyes and roared in anger. "God, you're so stupid," she said before she turned on her heel and stalked away.

Later that day, I saw her eating with Bella in the cafeteria. Bella had dyed her long hair darker – almost black - the day before and she was wearing black Dickies and green Doc Martens with a little white shirt that barely covered her stomach. She looked so cute and those pants were sexy as hell on her, but I didn't tell her so. When they both looked and my direction and scowled, I shrank back and went in the opposite direction.

I noticed that Bella started skipping classes every so often, but when I finally brought it up, she only answered me with her middle finger. I guess I deserved that.

One day in early April, Bella was wearing the sexiest little flowery dark-blue dress and a pair of black Docs that went up to just below her knees. The blackness had faded out of her hair I guess, and the sun was out, making the red hues in her brown hair shine like amber. I was standing about four feet away, and she was talking to Mike Newton and laughing at a stupid joke he was telling her. It was good to see her laughing again.

As she walked past me, I reached out for her elbow and pulled her back. She halted and glared up at me with her lips tight and hard, and her eyes narrowed. I wanted to kiss those fucking pissed-off lips, but I knew it wasn't possible. That would just confuse her, and at this point, she'd probably slap me across the face if I even tried it.

Her dress was low-cut in the chest, and a tiny hint of cleavage peeked out. I licked my lips.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Bella demanded, looking down at my hand where it held her arm loosely.

I didn't drop my hand. "Um…you look nice today."

She cocked her head to one side and looked at me as if I'd said something in a foreign language. With a hard edge to her voice, she asked, "So you're being _nice_ to me now? What's the occasion?"

This time I dropped my hand. "Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that."

Bella took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. "Look, I think we should talk ab-"

"I gotta go," I interrupted as I turned and stalked off, hearing her growl in frustration behind me.

I shouldn't have even said anything to her.

The same night, I went home to find my dad passed out on one of the leather recliners, and my mom locked up in her room, same as most days. I went to my room and did my homework, then sketched a drawing of Bella in her dress from earlier that day, trying to capture just the way she looked as she laughed at Mike's joke. By the time I finished the drawing, it was after two in the morning. I tore the paper carefully from my sketch-pad and placed it in my desk drawer with all the rest of the drawings of her, then flopped down on my bed and passed out.

Bella didn't wear that dress ever again.

Prom was coming up at the end of May, just two weeks away, but I couldn't care less. I only knew about it because all the girls were hinting around to me to ask them - like I would go with any of them. I wasn't fucking going anyway.

Then I heard Newton ask Bella to be his date for Prom during our English literature class while the teacher – who was hard of hearing – prattled on about Shakespeare.

"Actually…" she answered. "I already have a date, Mike, sorry."

I thought I was going to be sick. I guess I had just assumed she wouldn't go since she'd not talked to Jacob Black since Valentines Day, and I wasn't taking her either. I mentally ran through a list of guys at school who might have asked her, and it pissed me off. They all knew without me even having to tell them, that she was off limits to anyone but me, so who could it be?

I knew I couldn't exactly expect her to stay single forever, but it killed me to think of someone else's hands on her. Someone else getting to hold her hand and smell her perfume. Someone else who'd get so see her all dressed up and who'd get to kiss her goodnight at the end of the night.

"Oh yeah? You going with _Cullen_?" Mike assumed with venom in his tone. "Figured it wouldn't be long," he muttered.

She blanched at his question before answering, "_No_… I'm going with this guy I met at the diner."

"Who?" Mike asked.

"Um…his name is Felix, but you wouldn't know him. He's in college," she mumbled, scribbling something down in her notebook.

_A fucking college guy? Is that even fucking legal? Uh, no. No it isn't fucking legal. Bella's only seventeen!_

"Hmm. I don't like it," Mike stated.

Bella gaped at him. "What the fuck do you…it doesn't matter if you like it or not, dipshit!" she barked.

Mike turned to me asking, "You gonna help me out here, Cullen? Are you okay with this?"

I was about to say something when Bella interrupted.

"No, Mike, _Cullen_ doesn't have any say about it either, because _Cullen_ hasn't spoken to me in months. So, both you and _Cullen_can just kiss my ass!" With that, she turned around and ignored us both.

_Ouch._ She was definitely _not_ happy with me. Had it really been months since she was in my bed…in my arms?

I tried to catch her after class, but she was determined to stay away from me, and avoided me at every turn. She came to classes late, and left early to avoid talking to me. She even had lunch off campus so that I couldn't get close to her.

It would've been obvious that she wanted nothing to do with me, if I didn't constantly catch her looking at me in class. But as quickly as I'd catch her eyes, she'd flick them away and stiffen in her seat.

After much internal arguing, I decided to go with Garrett and some of the guys from the basketball team to the stupid prom. I only wanted to make sure Bella was safe with this college asshole.

The night of the Prom, I was a nervous wreck for some reason. Garrett gave me a couple shots of Whiskey before we headed into the building by the boat docks where the school had decided to throw the prom. It didn't take me long to spot Bella, sitting at one of the tables at the far end of the large banquet room. Her hair was curled and pinned to one side and draped over one shoulder. She was wearing a long red strapless gown and black gloves that went up past her elbows and her red lipstick drew my eyes straight to her mouth as she spoke to someone beside her. As if she'd sensed my presence, she looked away from the burley guy sitting next to her and locked eyes with me.

A moment passed between us before she narrowed her eyes at me and looked away, back to her date. He wasn't an ugly guy by any means, but something about him screamed _strange_ to me. I'd always been good at reading people, and this fuck-head was giving off majorly bad vibes.

I watched them all night, inconspicuously of course, noticing how enormously tall the guy was. He was at least six inches taller that my six-foot-two frame, with massive arms and shaggy brown hair. When they danced together, it looked completely awkward as he towered over her – despite her black high heels. They didn't fit together. And the looks he was giving her when she wasn't looking…it was like a cat watching the canary cage. It made me uneasy.

When a familiar song came on, I decided that I needed to talk to her, find out just who the hell this guy was. Her date, _Felix_, had taken off somewhere and I quickly made my way over to her table, her eyes trained on me the entire time. Angela Weber and Alice Brandon gaped at me as I held out my hand to Bella. Her breath caught in her throat and she stared up at me in shock.

"Dance with me?...Please?" I pleaded to her.

Hesitantly, she rose from her seat, took my hand and walked over to the dance floor with me. It felt like coming home as I held her in my arms and took in the sight of her in the blue halter dress that hugged her every curve. The air charged around us as we danced, neither of us speaking at first. We gazed into each other's eyes as the song echoed in our ears.

_You're just like an angel_

_Your skin makes me cry_

_You float like a feather_

_In a beautiful world_

_I wish I were special_

_You're so very special_

"You look beautiful," I murmured near her ear.

Actually, beautiful didn't even begin to describe it, but it was the only word my dazed head could come up with. I couldn't even gather my thoughts when she was that close to me.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Cullen," she half smiled.

She was obviously still guarded and angry if she was calling me by my last name, but I pulled her closer to me anyway. She slowly leaned her head against my chest and with the hand of hers that I held close to my heart, and I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb. Her breath tickled my throat, we were dancing that close. I lowered my head closer to her ear and she shuddered. God, she fucking smelled good.

_I don't care if it hurts_

_I wanna have control_

_I want a perfect body_

_I want a perfect soul_

_I want you to notice_

_When I'm not around_

_You're so very special_

_I wish I were special_

"Bella, what are you doing with that guy?" I pleaded. "He's too old for you. Charlie doesn't know, does he?"

"Since when do _you_ care?"

"I care, trust me."

"Could've fooled me. You know…these mood swings of yours are really giving me whiplash."

I pulled back and stared down at her. "I'm sorry. Things are just… complicated right now."

"That's it? That's all you have to say? You've been ignoring me for months, Edward. I'm not stupid. I know it's because of that night. If you regret it… or whatever…we can just…forget…" Her bottom lip started to tremble though she tried to look down again to hide it from me. I took her chin in my hand, grazing my thumb over her quivering bottom lip.

I wanted to just fucking kiss her sadness away…but I couldn't. That would just give her the wrong idea and confuse her again. Hell, I was confused enough for the both of us.

"I don't regret it," I assured her. "I just…I can't be with you like that. Not right now."

_Whatever makes you happy_

_Whatever you want_

_You're so very special_

_I wish I was special_

_But I'm a creep_

As the song wound down, I pleaded with my eyes for her to understand why I couldn't just sweep her up into my arms like I fucking wanted to. I wanted so badly to kiss her and take away the hurt I'd inflicted, but I just wasn't positive that I wouldn't hurt her more in the end if I stayed with her. I didn't know if I could give her the happiness she deserved, so I dropped her hands little by little.

Our song ended and fast song came on, but we didn't move. Alice and the girls rushed over to us, along with the giant dickhead, Felix. A techno beat started bumping throughout the room and he tried to get Bella's attention, but Bella just stood there, glaring daggers at me, the hurt evident on her face. The next thing I knew, she grabbed Felix's hand and pulled him away with her, storming off the dance floor.

I was tall enough that I could watch her from where I stood. She went to her table, grabbed her little purse and coat and took off through an exit, Felix following close behind. I looked down at Alice, Angela, and Ben Cheney who were staring at me, sad expressions on all their faces. I guess they were waiting to see if I would follow her.

I didn't.

Instead, I went back to my table and grabbed the flask Garrett had been nursing all night. When I quickly emptied it down my throat, we decided it was time to leave the stupid Prom and find something better to do. Like getting completely trashed at the beach and passing out on the sand. Which is basically what we did.

Still, it didn't numb the pain I felt when I thought about what Bella might be doing with that_ tool_, Felix, or the look of hurt on her face - the look I'd put there. Fuck, even when I tried not to hurt her, I was still hurting her.

**X-X-X**

On Monday, I decided that I needed to talk to her and let her know what was really going on inside my fucked up head. The only problem was, she didn't show up for school that day. I went to her house after school, but Renee said that she hadn't seen her all weekend. Renee also told me that Bella was working at the diner all afternoon and all night, and said I should go talk to her there. I think Renee secretly wanted Bella to be dating me, because she kept throwing hints out there that were pretty obvious. While Bella's mom and I sat on her front porch and smoked cigarettes together, I asked her what she thought about that Felix guy, and do you know what she said?

"Who's Felix?"

_Oops. Guess she didn't know…_

"Um, no one, nevermind," I lied.

When I got to the diner, I was all prepared to get down on my knees and grovel for her forgiveness. What I was not fucking prepared for, was the purple and blue bruising under Bella's right eye or her cut and swollen lip.

I spotted both as soon as I walked through the glass door and charged forward to where she was standing behind the counter with an "Oh Shit" look on her face. _So this is why Charlie and Renee hadn't seen her all weekend…_

"Where is he?" I growled when I reached the counter. An older man with dark brown hair seated at the counter dropped his spoon into his soup and looked up at me and then back to Bella.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered, her eyes darting everywhere to see if anyone else was watching us.

"You know exactly what I'm fucking talking about, Bella. Where the fuck does he live? Tell me now! I know he did that to your face," I seethed.

My hands were shaking, my face hot with fury; I was that fucking pissed. When I found that asshole, I was gonna rip his fucking head off and shove it up his ass.

"Edward, calm down and be quiet," she pleaded in a whisper. "You're gonna get me fired." There were other customers looking at us and her bitchy manager was eyeballing me from across the room.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, but when I opened them and saw the damage on her face, all the rage came back to the surface. Bella noticed my still heated stance and came around the counter, dragging me out of the diner by the hand. Once outside, we stood beside my car and she kept looking off into the distance.

"If you don't tell me where he lives, I'lltell Charlie," I threatened. Yeah, I knew it was a low blow, but I wanted blood and fucking teeth.

Finally, she looked up at me. "If you tell Charlie, I'll _never_ speak to you again. Is that what you want?" How could she even give me such a stupid ultimatum? I gaped at her in disbelief, until she continued. "If Charlie finds out I've been dating a college guy, he'll probably ship me off to a Convent in some remote part of the world. You can't say anything to him. Please," she begged.

"Are you gonna keep seeing this guy?"

Bella shook her head. "No! Definitely not. I'm not stupid!" she said, rolling her eyes.

I gently pulled her into my chest, hugging her for dear life. She wrapped her arms around me and clutched at my back. As she sighed into my chest, I kissed the top of her head. Fuck, what I felt for her was so…unbearable at times. I didn't really know what to think about how strongly I cared for her.

"If I see his face again though…" I started through gritted teeth, "I'm kicking his fucking ass from here to Egypt."

She laughed and looked up at me, smiling. I lightly traced the bruise under her eye with my thumb.

"What the hell happened, Bella? You have to tell me _everything_."

"If I tell you, do you promise me you won't freak out?"

"I promise," I lied. Seriously, did she really fucking expect me to stay calm about this shit?

She took a deep breath and started explaining. "We were watching TV on the couch at his house the day after the Prom…" My body tensed at that last word and when she felt it, she clarified, "_Nothing_ happened on Prom night, Edward." That made me relax a little. "But…the next day I went over to his house to pick up my black Vans, and he kissed me and… the next thing I knew, he had me pinned to the couch cushion and my shirt open..."

My jaw clenched as she trailed off, but then she took a deep breath and continued.

"I kept telling him to get off of me, but he wouldn't, and he's fucking huge so I was stuck there. I tried pushing him off but…"

My breathing became ragged and my face heated with anger again. I was going to kill this motherfucker with my bare hands.

"…But he was just too strong. He kept telling me that he wasn't going to hurt me and that he just wanted to see my boobs. I told him no, and right before he almost got my bra off, his mom and sister came home and he finally got up off of me. They didn't see what was happening because they came in through the garage, but his mom wanted to know why she heard a girl's voice yelling and he started arguing with her in the kitchen. That's when I ran out of the house."

I could feel Bella's heart thumping wildly in her chest while she continued her story. "I had just made it to my car and was starting to unlock it when he jumped up beside me and scared the shit out of me. He started yelling at me, calling me a tease, so I called him a sick fucking psycho…and that's when he hit me and threw me up against the side of my car. One of his neighbors came over and pulled him away from me, and I got in the car and hauled ass out of there. I think that's the longest drive from Port Angeles, ever."

I would've expected her to be crying or shaking from the story she'd just told me, but she wasn't. I had no idea how she could be such a strong person. I also realized she'd inadvertently told me he lived in Port Angeles. How many Felix's could there be in Port Angeles? I didn't know yet, but I would find out soon and I thought about this while I quickly catalogued all the ways I could fuck him up. Charlie would back me up if he knew why I did it.

I felt her tiny little hand rubbing the tense spot between my brows and I looked down to see her watching me with concern.

"You promised you wouldn't freak out," she whispered. "It's not a big deal, really. I'm fine and I told him to stay away from me. Just calm down. Please?"

"I don't know how the hell you expect me to be fucking calm about this…You really should tell your dad."

She reached up again and stroked my sideburn. "Edward, please? Just let it go," she whispered. "I'll never see him again, I promise. And if he bothers me again, I'll tell you, and you can do whatever you want after that."

My eyes closed of their own will, as she continued to run her fingers gently from my jaw to my hair above my ear and then back behind my head, scratching my scalp.

"Are you trying to distract me?" I asked, lowering my head more so she could reach it better.

"Maybe," she laughed.

I opened my eyes and scowled at her. "Well, you'll have to do better than that, because I'm still really fucking pissed."

"Should I slap you or kiss you?" she joked with a smirk, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

I answered her by leaning my head down and brushing my lips over hers, trying to be careful of her cut. After a few small but tender kisses, she pulled back slightly.

"Please don't ignore me again like you've been," she whispered against my lips. "It's been killing me."

"I won't. I'm sorry," I murmured back.

Bella moved her hand from my sideburn to the back of my neck and pulled me closer, kissing me gently at first and then tilting her head to deepen it. I opened my mouth to her and… _fuck_, it was just as good as it had been all those months ago, if not better. Our tongues tangled gently, getting reacquainted and I moaned into her mouth because it was just so fucking awesome. I'd completely forgotten we were standing in the middle of the diner parking lot until she pulled back and smiled timidly.

"_God_…I really, _really_ hate to stop this, but I have to get back to work," she laughed. I leaned down and gave her three more small kisses before releasing her. "Did you want to maybe come inside and have something to eat? I miss talking to you."

I nodded and she led me back inside by the hand and sat me down at a table next to a pretty old lady who was eating by herself, smiling at me.

Bella turned to the old lady. "Sorry, Mrs. Meyer, I'll take your order now if you're ready?"

The old lady smiled at Bella, "It's no problem at all, dear. I was young and in love once too," she gushed. Bella's cheeks flushed and she bit the inside of her cheek and looked down at her notepad while the old lady looked over to me and winked. I blinked at her in surprise before smiling and turning my attention back down to my menu.

Bella took the lady's order, then mine, before she scurried off to give our orders to Al the cook. While she was gone, the old lady leaned over toward me and whispered, "Make sure you keep a tight hold on that girl, she's a rare one."

I smiled and nodded my head, a little embarrassed by this lady's comments. Soon, Bella was back with both our orders. She smiled at the old lady and sat down at my table while I ate my steak and cobbler. We talked and laughed for a couple hours until I had to go home so I could do my Calculus homework.

Bella had said that she would come over after she got off work at eleven, but when she mentioned closing up by herself, I just felt like I needed to go meet her at the diner. Maybe I was just being lame, but I didn't care. I just had a weird feeling that I should go, so I did.

I pulled into the parking lot of the diner and noticed that there was another car there next to Bella's black Chevelle. I knew the other car didn't belong to Fred, the cook – his pickup truck was already gone. At first I thought it was another customer, but since I knew they'd closed at ten, and there were no people sitting at any of the tables, my spine prickled. I jumped out of my Nova and sprinted to the door of the diner. It was locked, just as it probably should be at that time of night, but still…something was not fucking right.

I took my cell phone out of my back pocket and dialed her number. It rang and rang until it went to voicemail. I dialed it again and this time it rang three times and picked up. It sounded like the phone was in a paper bag or something by muffled noises coming from the other side. Then I heard it.

Bella screaming and yelling to someone, "Stop! Stop! Gimme back the phone! No, Don't! Let go! Get off of me!" Then the line went dead.

I thought my heart was going to explode out of my fucking chest. I turned to my side and saw the metal newspaper stand on the ground. I tried to pick it up, but it was bolted to the cement, so I had to think of something else. I looked to my other side and saw a few large rocks in the landscaping beside my feet. Reaching down to pick up the one that was as large as a grapefruit, I used it to smash through the glass door. As I reached in unlocked the heavy door, I could hear her screaming and telling whoever it was to stop. My feet felt like they were running through quicksand as I rushed toward the back storage room.

Right as I entered the room, Felix was stumbling around blindly covering his eyes and screaming with fury. I could see tears coming out of his eyes as he rubbed the reddened skin there. He had just turned to stumble blindly back in Bella's direction when I grabbed him by his arm and shoved him to the ground. Everything else was a blur of fists and blood as I wailed on him, mercilessly. He got one good blow in to my ribs, but that was all he got. I don't know how long I beat him, but when it became clear he wasn't fighting back, I got up and stood over him. My brain throbbed with adrenaline as I stood glaring at him for who knew how long.

The next thing I knew Charlie Swan was behind me, telling me to back up.

"Charlie," Bella called out. She was standing in a corner, clutching my cell phone in one hand and a canister of Pepper-spray in the other as she watched us both warily. Her t-shirt was slightly torn at the neckline where small red scratches were present and her hair was all mussed up. Neither of us had really noticed her there in the corner until she called for Charlie, getting both our attentions.

Charlie went over to her and threw his arms around her while she protested that she was fine. Two more officers came in and hauled Felix up off the floor and outside to a waiting squad car. Charlie moved Bella over to the other side of the diner and they sat in one of the far corner tables while he talked to her, asking her what happened. She explained to him that she'd been getting ready to lock the place up when Felix came in and started arguing with her about not wanting to break up.

"I told him to wait at the counter while I threw some boxes away out back and then we'd talk," she explained to her dad. "That's when I called Betty and told her to get you to come down here." Betty was the dispatch girl at the station. "I could tell he wasn't going to leave and since I was here alone…"

"Where's Fred?" He meant the cook who I guessed was supposed to be there as well.

Bella shrunk down in her seat. "I…sort of told him he could leave early…"

Charlie pounded his fist on the table. "_God damn it, Bella!_ How many times have I told you to stop doing that? I told you it's not safe for you to be here by yourself!"

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad! I can take care of myself!"

"Bullshit, Bells! You're seventeen. And you better believe I'm gonna have a little talk with Fred, too. I told that ugly, drunk asshole not to keep taking off early and leaving you here alone at night.

"Dad…stop."

They glared at each other for a minute until Charlie shook his head with frustration and twirled his hand, urging her to continue with the rest of the story.

"Felix just wouldn't leave and then we started arguing again…and he tried to come around the counter, so I ran into the back room and he came after me. I had my pepper-spray ready and that was it. Edward happened to show up right before you got here."

We all knew she was leaving shit out of the story.

Charlie looked out the window at the squad car like he wanted to murder Felix. I couldn't say I blamed him. I wanted to go first, then revive Felix and let Charlie have the second crack at it.

"We're not done talking about this," he told her as Renee pulled up in her white Toyota 4-Runner.

Renee came rushing through the door a minute later, pulling Bella from her seat and crushing her with a hug. Renee was sobbing her head off, but Bella was completely quiet. Bella and Renee moved back to the table while Charlie came over to me.

"I can't thank you enough, Son," Charlie told me, patting me on the back. "I know she's not telling me everything. If you hadn't showed up…" He couldn't even finish his sentence, but I already knew exactly what he meant.

"You don't have to thank me, Chief Swan, I-"

"Dt-deh-deh, call me Charlie, Son," he admonished, putting his large hand on my shoulder. "Now tell me, you know this clown?" he asked.

"Well, I don't, but Bella does. I was gonna go kick his ass today when I first saw the bruise and shit on her face, but Bella wouldn't tell me where to find him. I knew he was in college, I just didn't know which one, so I tried to get her to tell-"

"_College?_" Charlie barked with his eyes wide. He turned around and Bella's eyes went wide. "Isabella Marie Swan, you better get your little ass over here and start explaining. And I mean everything."

_Oh shit…oops. Again. Sorry, Bella._

Me and my big fucking mouth.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

**A/N: I _think_ I'm finally satisfied with this chapter, so here you are. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"_Two weeks without my lover_

_I'm in this boat… alone_

_Floating down a river named emotion_

_Will I make it to shore or drift into the unknown_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_I'm building an antenna_

_Transmissions will be sent when I am through_

_Maybe we could meet again, further down the river_

_And share what we both discovered, then revel in the view_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_I'm floating down a river"_

**_Aqueous Transmission – Incubus_**

June - September

Summer to Senior Year…

If I hadn't said anything about Felix being a college guy, Charlie wouldn't have flipped out on Bella and sent her to stay with her Aunt Charlotte back in Phoenix for the summer. Her Aunt Charlotte was a psychologist, and they wanted to make sure Bella got to talk to someone about what she'd been through – even though she swore she was "fine".

They were pretty pissed at Bella for lying to them, too. It turned out that the guy was twenty-one and I was right - Bella had been lying to Charlie and Renee about it for weeks. I guess it's not really lying if they didn't ever even know about him, but she hadn't even told them she was going to prom with the guy or that she'd gone to prom at all.

Besides that night after the diner incident, I didn't see Bella. I didn't even get to say goodbye to her at the airport or anything. Charlie kept her under lock and key for the rest of the week until her flight left. She called me once she got to Arizona, pissed off and yelling, and asking me why I told Charlie after I'd promised not to say anything.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Bella. It just slipped out and-"

"_Yeah, well, thanks to you I'm not even allowed to go to the grocery store by myself until I'm eighteen,"_ she snipped.

"Bella, I'm sure your dad is just exaggerating because he's mad and worried about you."

"_I'm serious, Edward, he has my Aunt Charlotte tracking my every move,"_ she argued. _"Even when I get back to Forks in August, I'm not allowed to go anywhere until my eighteenth birthday. I can't see anyone. Not Alice or Angela…not even you."_

_Shit. I was afraid of that._

"I could always sneak into your window again," I joked.

I had done it on the night of the incident at the diner. I'd parked my car a block down the road from Bella's house and waited until Charlie and Renee finally went to bed. Then I climbed up the tree by Bella's window and tapped on the glass until she let me in. I lay in bed and talked with her, holding her until the sun came up, then snuck back out again before anyone else woke up. I had to know that she was okay.

Surprisingly, she didn't seem to be all that shaken up by what had happened with Felix. In fact, she kept saying that she would've been fine even if I hadn't shown up. According to Bella, she was about to lock herself in the walk-in refrigerator in the back after she'd sprayed Felix in the face. She still thanked me for kicking his ass, but kept trying to assure me that she could take care of herself, and for me to stop worrying so much.

Right - like I'd ever be able to stop worrying about her.

"_Sure, Edward, sneak into my window - if you know how to bypass the new security system that Charlie is installing as we speak…" _Bella reasoned.

"Uh…well…shit."

"_Exactly."_

I sighed. She still sounded pissed. "Bella, come on. Please don't be mad at me. It's only a couple months. The summer will go by really fast and your birthday will be here before you know it," I promised. "And I'll make sure your birthday is the best one you've ever had, just to make up for what I did."

There was a long pause before she continued, _"Best birthday ever, huh?"_

"Anything you want to do."

"_Anything?_" she asked in a low voice - the same voice that went straight to my dick when she was on my bed on Valentine's Day. My ears got hot and I tugged at the collar of my T-shirt, desperate to cool down.

"Uh…yeah. Anything you want, it's yours."

"_You promise?"_ she breathed, huskily.

"Charlie didn't tap your phone did he?" I choked out, knowing _exactly_ where this conversation was headed.

"_If he did, he's not going to like what he's about to hear…"_ she teased. _"Alice says phone sex is just as good as the real thing. I say there's no way, but I've never done either one so how would I know? You feel like helping me out?"_

"Um…you want me to…you want to…uh…you start first." I was pretty sure the temperature in my bedroom had just gone up by twenty or thirty degrees, even though it was the second week of June and the weather outside that night was chilly and rainy.

She cleared her throat and I could hear sheets or blankets being moved around. _"Okay, I'm probably going to suck at this, but just try not to laugh too hard, alright?"_

"Trust me," I assured her. "I'm not laughing. Go ahead. Tell me what you're doing right now."

"_Well…" _she started. _"I'm um… lying in my bed, and it's really, really hot over here. So…I'm not wearing any clothes. At all."_

I could tell she was nervous, but with the mental picture alone, I almost dropped my phone.

.

.

.

The summer flew by just as I'd hoped and before long, she was flying back to me. Charlie was nice enough to let me come to the airport with him and Renee, but we were under constant supervision. It made me nervous as hell, and I kept thinking that somehow Charlie had been listening to our phone conversations, even though I knew he would _definitely_ not have let me come along to the airport if he had.

Charlie would have had his boot crammed up my ass if he knew what kinds of dirty things I'd been saying to his little girl. And if he knew the things Bella had been saying to me, I'd never be able to look him in the face again.

So for the time being, I settled for holding Bella's hand and stealing glances at her as we sat in the back seat of Renee's Toyota 4-Runner on the long drive from Sea-Tac to Forks. Charlie and Renee were noticeably tense during the drive, but I didn't think it had anything to do with me and Bella. It was more likely that they had been fighting. Usually they seemed to fight over the fact that Charlie hated Renee's smoking habit, and Renee hated the fact that Charlie spent money frivolously. He told her that kissing her was like kissing an ashtray. She told him that he pulled money out of the ATM like it was a competition. He called her a tight-wad and a miser. She called him an over-grown kid who needed to stop whining about her smoking habit.

Bella rolled her eyes and stared out her window. I knew she hated listening to them bicker so I tried to distract her by putting my hand in hers and smiling. She raised an eyebrow at me when I moved our joined hands to my leg. I seriously was not prepared for what she did next.

As I held Bella's hand in my lap, she kept grazing her pinky finger over my groin because she was obviously trying to kill me. She knew I couldn't do a damn thing about it except move her hand out of my lap. That earned a scowl from her which made me laugh, and caused Charlie to look over his shoulder at us while he drove. I cleared my throat to try and play the whole thing off, pretending that I didn't have a massive chubby in my pants. Bella looked out her window and shook with silent laughter, while a glared at her for obvious reason.

School started up again the day after Bella got back, and much as we tried to be good, the fact that we only had one class together at the end of the day, was driving me nuts. By second period, I couldn't take it anymore. I left class, faking stomach cramps and walked over to Bella's home-economics class, motioning through the glass window for her to come outside. She smirked at me and nodded as I ducked out of sight.

When the door flew open and she darted out of the room and started walking down the hallway, I snuck up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

"I still have two weeks until my birthday," she laughed as I buried my face in her neck and pulled her ass into my groin. "Are you trying to get me sent back to Arizona?"

Well, if she didn't like what I was doing, she sure as hell wasn't helping matters by the way she was rubbing her ass against me. I turned her around and kissed her, letting my tongue do the talking for a minute. She groaned and fisted her hands into my hair, pulling me closer. Suddenly it dawned on me that we were making out in the middle of the empty school hallway, where we could be busted at any minute.

Just as I'd feared, a doorway opened up down the hall, and we froze. Lauren Mallory came out just as I pulled away from Bella, slightly. I had to keep her in front of me to conceal my boner, but we tried to pretend like we were just talking. Lauren wasn't buying it. She walked past us and glared at Bella, shooting daggers at her with her eyes.

"Bitch," Lauren spat.

"Whore," Bella retaliated as they locked eyes and glared at one another.

"Well, at least I'm not a prude like you! Isn't that right, _Edward_?"

I glanced at Lauren and found her wiggling her eyebrows at me. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Yeah. Okay, Edward…play dumb just because _she's_ around…" She smiled and walked away giggling. I looked back at Bella, who looked pissed as fuck.

"Did you fuck _her_, too?" Bella seethed, tears welling up in her eyes. I'd told her I'd only been with Tanya and Heidi. It was the truth.

I pulled Bella back into my arms. "No, I didn't do anything with Lauren. I haven't even talked to her since eighth grade," I swore, truthfully. Lauren was a troll in my eyes. I saw nothing in her fake-spray-tanned skin and bleach blonde hair that compared to Bella's natural beauty. Still, I knew that Lauren was a sore spot for Bella for some reason. They obviously hated each other, and Lauren always found a way to under her skin somehow.

Bella nodded quietly and closed her eyes as I held her face in my hands. I bent down again to give her a searing, but re-assuring kiss. The minute her soft lips touched mine, I was hard again. She licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to her, swallowing her moan. Her hands ran up my arms and over my shoulders, and much as I wanted to get a little closer, I tried to be patient and pulled away from her.

"Now, go back to class before you get us both in trouble," I joked, thrusting my hard-on into her stomach and making her giggle at last.

"Fine," she agreed before pulling my face back to hers and kissing me hard, tasting my tongue and biting my bottom lip. She rubbed her tits into my chest then quickly pushed me away, leaving me gaping and hard as titanium. "See you after school," she sang as she walked back into her class, smiling smugly.

I looked down at the steel rod in my pants and shook my head. "That girl is going to kill us both," I told him.

After school, I followed her home and we did homework together before having dinner with Renee and Charlie. The days went on like this and I have to say that I was getting pretty comfortable at the Swan residence. Renee was always asking me to come by on the weekends so that I could help Charlie with the yard work. Emmett had quit college and moved to Anchorage, Alaska with Rosalie, where he got a high-paying job on a crab-fishing boat and she kept going to school at the University of Alaska. He was only gone for two or three months out of the year, but he made more money in that time than most people made in a whole year.

Charlie was pretty cool to me and _almost_ let me drink a beer with him a couple times. I figured he was testing me though, so I always declined. Still, it was nice to get some time with a father-figure type. My dad was always at work or drunk and passed out on the couch or in the spare bedroom. I kept quiet about my time at Bella's house, telling him that I'd been at Garrett's or somewhere else. I told my mom the truth though, and she was more than happy to hear it. She wanted me to bring Bella over to our house, but when I told her that my dad didn't like Bella, she didn't like it, but she understood why I was keeping it from him.

I wondered how my mom could stand to stay married to someone like my dad, but I kept out of it, figuring it was none of my business.

My mom and I decided that we were going to take Bella out for her birthday as a group. Just the five of us - definitely excluding my dad. My mom insisted on paying for the whole thing and even got Bella a bunch of gift certificates to her two favorite places – The Book Nook and Bath & Beauty. She must've gotten her at least five hundred bucks worth of gift certificates. I decided on a silver charm bracelet. It had five charms on it. One was a book, for obvious reasons… then there was the letter 'B' for Bella, a hot rod car, a music note, and finally, a diamond heart.

It was a gift I'd planned on giving her later, after dinner, when we were finally allowed to be alone. God, I couldn't fucking wait for that. After months of teasing and flirting and dirty phone sex, we would finally, _finally_ be alone. To do whatever we wanted.

Anything we wanted.

Alone.

Dinner was surprisingly fun, since my mom and Renee got along so well, and we all laughed till we hurt when the waiters and waitresses came out to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Bella. She was so fucking pissed and embarrassed, saying she was going to get even with every single one of us. Even Charlie howled with laughter at the murderous expression on Bella's face. Emmett couldn't make a trip out to see her, but she talked to him on the phone, briefly. Surprisingly, they didn't cuss each other out like they usually would.

Once we all got out to the parking lot, my mom hugged Bella and said her goodbyes to everyone before she went home. Then Renee hugged me and told Bella not to stay out too late since we still had school the next day. Charlie gave me the stink-eye before glancing at Bella and muttering something about "Damn kids always have to grow up on ya." He hugged her tightly and soon they were gone, leaving me alone with Bella while we stood beside her Chevelle. We had driven there together in her car.

She handed me the keys. "You ready?" she asked, winking at me.

"Uh…we can't go back to my house yet. My dad's still home and my mom's not leaving until nine or ten." She was going to visit her sister in Chicago, and would be gone for two weeks. My mom travelled a lot – and a lot more than I realized at the time.

Yeah, we'd already been talking about what she wanted for her birthday. I'll give you three guesses…

Bella said she didn't want to go to a hotel. She said that Forks was too small of a town and that the word would get back to her dad in no time. I offered to drive us up to Port Angeles, but she nixed that idea for some reason.

It was going to be her first time, and I wanted it to be special for her, especially since my first time was so fucking disastrous.

So we decided to go back to my house after my dad left for his night shift, and my mom left for the weekend.

"How about we go to our old spot in that meadow for a while until your mom leaves?" she asked.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I agreed, nervously.

"Edward, would you relax?" she laughed as she climbed into the passenger side. I gulped and followed her lead, jumping into the driver's seat of her Chevelle and turning the key. You'd think it was _my_ first time having sex by the way I was shaking so badly and yet she was the confident one. I have to say, it was really fucking turning me on.

Soon we pulled up to the opening between the trees and I inched the car forward slowly until we were parked in the meadow, surrounded by nothing but trees and rocks. I cut the engine and reached under my seat. I'd hid the box there when we left her house for dinner along with the sketch of her in that dress. As I put my fingers on the little blue box, Bella got out of the car and went to sit on the hood, like we always did. Only this time, instead of jeans and a t-shirt or hoodie, she was wearing a little green strapless dress that swirled around her lean thighs when she moved.

I watched her as she hopped up on the warm hood of the car, the moonlight making her gorgeous face glow like an angel. Finally, I turned up the stereo which played an Incubus song that made me think of her, got out of the car and walked around to stand in front of her. I took her hand and placed the small chunk of paper in her palm. Her cheeks flushed pink and she bit her lip.

"Happy Birthday, Bella."

She gasped when she saw the folded up drawing, because I guess she already knew what it was. She unfolded it and stared at it for the longest time with a huge grin on her face and a tear in her eye.

With only the moon to light her view, she stared in awe at the sketch. "I usually hate looking at pictures of myself," she said. "But the way you draw me, it's so…God, it's beautiful, Edward. You really should consider going to art school or something instead of medical school." I shook my head and proceeded to hand her the long blue box. Sliding the bracelet out and holding it as if it were an ancient artifact, she carefully examined each charm, giggling at the hot rod and the book, smiling at the letter B and the music note, and gaping at the diamond heart for the longest time. The look in her eyes told me more than any words could have. She loved it.

Bella held the bracelet out to me along with her left arm. I placed it around her dainty wrist and clasped it before placing a small kiss on her wrist. She reached up with her other arm and pulled me down to her, touching her sweet lips to mine.

She opened her legs slightly and I moved to place myself between them. Slowly she started wrapping her legs around my waist and I had to place my hands the hood to steady myself. I lifted one hand to her waist and pulled her toward me feeling the warmth between her legs. As I pulled her closer, her hands snaked into my messy hair before she started pulling it gently and grinding her hot center into my hardness.

"Oh God, that feels so good," she whispered as her legs moved over my ass. I ran one hand down her leg, to her ankle and then back up her soft thigh. She squeezed her legs together which pressed my dick up against her, and I moaned before I pulled back to look into her eyes.

"Bella…what are you…we shouldn't do this here."

"Please," she whispered and gazed up into my eyes.

"Here on the hood of your car," I half chuckled. "It's not going to be very comfortable for you like this. I mean…You deserve better than-"

"Edward. Shut up." She rubbed herself against my dick again. My eyes rolled back and I clamped my teeth together. "I want this…here…now," she continued with just a whisper. "Don't you want me?"

I moved one hand up from the hood and placed it on her hip, then used that hand to pull her ass further down on the hood and toward me so she could feel just how much I wanted her. She gasped and her eyelids lowered while her breathing quickened. Slowly, I inched my hand up her side and grazed the side of her breast, watching as her nipple hardened under her thin dress.

"Are you really fucking sure you wanna do this here, Bella? Because if you don't want to…tell me now," I groaned out, pressing my dick against her – right there, grinding against her again and again.

"Yes," she gasped and pulled my lips back to hers. As we kissed, her hands moved down to the hem of my button-down shirt, dipping under and running up my back while she stared up at me and smirked. I smiled down at her and unbuttoned my shirt as quickly as I could, throwing it behind her to the top of the car. When she started to pull her dress up, I stopped her hands and she got worried for a second.

"Let me do it," I whispered to her and she smiled. I slowly pulled the dress up and over her head until she was sitting in front of me in only a black strapless bra and matching panties. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, but I was in shock, nervous, and completely speechless. My dick twitched, almost to the point of pain, as I stared down at her tits. She giggled because she could feel me twitch against her panties.

"Are you laughing at me, Swan?" I asked in a deep voice that caught her attention as her eyes darkened and glazed over.

Her face became serious. "No," she breathed, biting her lip.

"Good," I told her before reaching into the back pocket of my black pants and pulling out a condom. I leaned back over her to kiss her pouty, perfect lips. After I managed to get her bra off, I moved my lips from her mouth to her tit and licked all around the nipple before sucking it into my mouth. She moaned and threw her head back until it hit the hood with a loud bang. We couldn't help but laugh.

"Ow," she giggled and reached up to rub the back of her head. I moved one of my hands up to replace hers and rubbed the spot gently. That's when she took advantage of my distraction and started to unbutton my jeans. I let her do that part because it felt so good to have her hands on me. She shyly traced her fingers down my happy trail and started to reach into my boxers when I grabbed her wrist. "Wait," I told her. "There's something I want to do first." I gently pushed her shoulders back until she lay back on the hood, resting on her elbows.

She nodded and I kissed her a few more times before letting my hand drift down her stomach and into her panties. When my fingers found her wetness, she bucked her hips against them until I dipped them into the tight space.

"Shit…" she whimpered, and I chuckled against her chest. She was gripping the edge of the hood with one hand and my hair with the other. I licked and sucked both breasts for a bit while she writhed underneath me. She was so wet that I wasn't sure I could take much more, but I knew she needed more priming until she would be ready for me to be inside her.

I hooked my fingers under the sides of her panties and slowly dragged them down her hips while I kissed her breasts and stomach, then back to her lips as I slowly continued to pump two fingers into her. It didn't take long for her to clench around my fingers while I licked at the skin above her collar bone. She was so beautiful with her hair spilled all around her, whispering my name with each jagged breath.

As I ripped the condom packet open with my teeth, she was running her fingers through my hair and kissing my neck. I started to lean back so that I could put the condom on when I felt her grab the condom from my hand. With her eyes wide, she grabbed a hold of my dick before I even knew what was happening, and rolled it on herself.

She must've read my mind which was wondering how she knew how to do that, since she hadn't been with anyone else yet.

"Health Ed class," she smirked.

I silently thanked God for that stupid class and their bananas for practice dicks, while I went back to licking and biting her neck. The feel of her hand on my dick caused me to growl and I heard her giggle with pride. Since she was handling things down there, I turned my attention back to her breasts with one hand. I got the same reaction as before as I played with her nipple.

"You're really sure?" I asked her one last time. I didn't want her to regret this. It would change everything between us.

She rolled her eyes and huffed in frustration. "Yes. I'm sure. I want this. I want you," she answered as she lined me up between her thighs. I cradled her head in my left hand and kissed her gently as I gripped myself with my right and began to slowly push myself into her. I got about a quarter of the way in before she winced a little bit, so I stopped. Letting go of her mouth, I started in on her breasts again, knowing that it turned her on, as I stroked her clit with the thumb of my right hand. She felt so good and I wasn't even halfway in.

Bella moaned when I flicked her nipple with my tongue and wrapped her legs around me, pulling me down until I was all the way inside her in one swift move. I felt the barrier inside her break, and she cried out in pain.

"Shit, Bella, I'm…unh… sorry." Fuck, it felt so fucking good to be all the way inside her. I really was sorry that it had hurt her, but fuck it was so good for me. My dick felt like it was going to die if I didn't start moving soon, but I tried to calm the fuck down.

"It's okay just…just wait a second," she whispered as a tear rolled down the skin at the outside corner of her eye. That one single tear was the over-ride switch to whatever my traitorous dick had to say. I held my hips still, but kissed the spot where the tear had come from, along with a soft kiss on her lips.

"We should stop. I'll stop," I whispered against her lips. "Fuck, you feel so good though."

"Shh…shut up," she told me before molding her lips to mine. "I'll be okay in a minute, I think."

She was so fucking tight, and she kept her legs wrapped tightly around me, kissing me while she adjusted to my size. At least a full minute had passed, and I thought for sure my balls were about to explode. It felt _that_ good. Suddenly, she started kissing me harder and bucking her hips on her own, spurring me to start moving again. I took the hint, and started to move slowly, just a little bit, gauging her reaction to see if I was hurting her still.

"Unh… shit that's good," she panted against my lips. "Don't stop." I looked at her and she smiled.

"You're so…God, you're beautiful," I said as I looked down at her face. She tightened her legs around me, again telling me to keep moving. I didn't need any further hints. I grasped her hips and pulled her body further down the hood of the car until her ass was right at the edge and started pumping into her slowly while our tongues tangled together.

It only took a few minutes before I was close to busting my load, so I started doing Calculus equations in my head. That way I wouldn't think about how good she felt – so tight and warm. Better than Tanya or Heidi. Waaaaaay fucking better. I didn't know if it was because she was so tight or if it was because it was Bella.

My back and legs were starting to hurt from bending over her so I pulled her up until she was sitting up on the hood, our bodies still connected. I never should've done that though because that angle made me go deeper, and it felt even better, and she wasn't ready to stop yet, so I lay her back down.

I started running basketball drills in my head to divert my focus. That worked for about a minute or so until Bella started making little noises and moaning. Then it was all I could do not to blow my load. Her short nails scratched down my back and I almost lost it.

"Ungh…I'm close," she whispered.

"Shit…Me too."

"Oh…oh God…right there…"

Her words were what almost ended it for me, but thankfully, I only had to recite the Declaration of Independence in my head one last time before Bella started getting loud with her cries and gasps. She dragged her nails down my back again and I felt her clench down on my dick again and that was it. I couldn't hold back anymore. I sat her up and pumped into her a few more times before I came, shaking as I held her to my chest.

After I was able to breathe again, I laid her down slowly, back onto the hood and kissed her gently. Then I gradually pulled out of her, catching her wince, and took the condom off. I tied a knot on the end and tossed it off to the side before pulling my pants back up. She grabbed her dress and pulled it back on, leaving the bra and panties wherever they were. I jumped up on the hood and lay down beside her, pulling her to my naked chest and kissing her again and again.

"Wow. I had no idea you'd be so loud," I teased her.

"Shut up," she giggled, smacking my shoulder and rolling her eyes.

Out of nowhere, it started pouring down rain, so we jumped off the hood and sought shelter inside the car. Once safely inside, I pulled her to sit in my lap so I could kiss her again. I still couldn't believe we'd just fucked on the hood of her car. And I still felt guilty as hell about it.

"I'm sorry if that wasn't how you pictured your first time," I told her. "I still say we should've gone to a fancy hotel or something."

"Actually, it really wasn't that uncomfortable." I frowned at her and she smiled. "And I'm never selling this car now, _ever_."

I laughed and shook my head. "Are you okay though? Did I hurt you?"

She rolled her eyes, as usual. "Yes, Edward. You have a huge porn-star cock and I'll be waddling to school tomorrow like a penguin. You big, bad, stud, you."

Smartass.

I scowled at her and she giggled.

"Did it sound like I was complaining?" she smirked. Her lip also twitched and she wasn't looking me in the eye, so I could tell she was lying. I stared at her until she finally met my eyes. "Okay, okay, yeah obviously it hurt… _a lot_ at first, but I'm fine, really."

I should've known she'd act like it didn't hurt.

"Bella…I hate it when you say you're fine, but you're really not."

"What about _you?"_ She ran her short fingernails over the small amount of hair below my naval, causing my dick become hard, _again_. "I mean….was it….okay for you?"

"It was more than just _okay_," I replied in a serious voice. "Let's just say that if you keep doing _that_," I said, pointing down to her hand that was dancing dangerously close to the waistband of my pants. "You _will _be walking funny tomorrow."

Her fingernails traced over the same area again and I growled as she smiled seductively at me.

Holy hell, I'd created a monster.

We _didn't_ have sex again that night, but there was other stuff he hadn't done yet and we had hours to kill and body parts to catch up on. So, we set off to explore.

We never made it to school the next day.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

**A/N: Ok...you knew this was coming. :(**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"_All five horizons revolved around her soul_

_As the Earth to the Sun_

_Now the air I tasted and breathed_

_Has taken a turn_

_Ohh, and all I taught her was_

_Everything_

_Ohh, I know she gave me all_

_That she wore_

_And now my bitter hands_

_Chafe beneath the clouds_

_Of what was everything_

_Oh, the pictures have_

_All been washed in black_

_Tattooed everything"_

_**Black – Pearl Jam**_

The next eight months were the best I'd ever had despite the fact that Bella and I didn't get to see each other very much. I was playing Basketball for the Varsity Team again and on top of that, my dad had forced me to get a job. He fed me some bullshit line that he wanted me to learn what a good work ethic was, but I just knew that it was just his way to keep me away from Bella. He'd somehow figured out that we were dating even though we didn't even hold hands in front of him, and though he didn't say anything in front of Bella, he made it clear to me on almost a daily basis – that he didn't approve.

The other reason I didn't get to see Bella very often, was because she'd not signed up for the dance team since she wanted to concentrate on her grades and had started a new job at Newton's sporting goods to help pay for school. She was trying to get a scholarship to University of Washington in Seattle so that we could go to school together. I didn't need a scholarship since my parents had no problem paying for tuition, so it was mainly just about making sure Bella got in so that we could go off to college together.

Our plan was to go to Seattle together and finally get out of Forks. Alice's parents had already found an apartment there for her to share with Bella, and I was going to stay in the dorms on campus. Alice didn't need a scholarship either, since her parents had plenty of money to send her to college. I'd gotten pretty comfortable around Alice, even though I found her pushy attitude to be pretty annoying at times. The three of us stayed close to each other at school, and even though I still had my guy friends, I mostly hung out with Bella and Alice.

There weren't a lot of jobs in Forks, let alone ones that interested me, so I started looking for work in Port Angeles. The only job I could find was in a local Mortuary there. My job was to help the guy transfer the bodies from the van to the gurneys inside where Waylen – the mortician – would clean them up and stuff, and then I'd help to transfer them to the coffins after he'd finished his work. It was a simple job that paid really well, and since I never had to do any of the _dirty work_, it didn't bother me too much.

Bella hated it.

Not because she didn't get to see me, but because she just thought the whole thing was creepy. She had some weird fear of death and dead people that she wouldn't even talk to _me_ about. If I even brought up any stories from work, she'd change the subject or leave the room and her mom said just talking about death gave her anxiety attacks for some reason. It wasn't just Bella though. My mom got pissed whenever I talked about who we'd worked on too. It was usually just old people who were brought in. It didn't bother me because I just figured they'd lived a long happy life, and now it was time for their body to rest.

Still, Bella always got sad when I brought up anything from work, so I stopped talking about it. Sometimes she'd take her mom's 4-Runner and drive up to Port Angeles just to have dinner with me, but only if I promised to meet her somewhere. She refused to go anywhere near the mortuary.

I laughed because it just seemed funny.

"They're dead, Bella," I smiled and wrapped my arm around her. "What, are you afraid they'll come back to life and attack you like in the movies?"

"It's not funny," she stewed and crossed her arms across her chest. We'd just finished eating at this little restaurant one Thursday night and I was teasing her once again.

"Alright fine. I'm sorry," I pouted and leaned over to nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and then down into the cleavage of her navy blue t-shirt.

She giggled and pushed me away. "Jerk. I wish you would just quit that job. There has to be somewhere else you could work."

"It's only for a little while longer."

"I know," she sighed.

We kissed and snuggled in the parking lot of the restaurant until finally I had to pull away so I could get back to work. I watched her get in the 4-Runner and drive down the road until her white vehicle faded into the black night, before I got in my car and drove back to the mortuary.

When I got back to work, Waylen had two bodies that he needed my help with. They were a couple of men that had been brought over from a local nursing home and Waylen had just finished working on them. We got right to work, moving them around and placed inside their boxes while the stereo played heavy metal music. We never talked much at all while we worked together so neither one of us knew anything about each other's personal lives. I only knew he was married by the thick gold band on his left ring finger.

We'd just gotten the second man positioned into his coffin when the work phone rang. Waylen turned the stereo down and took the call in the other room. He came back a minute or two later as I was placing the man's hands over his chest.

"The coroner's bringin' one over in…oh… ten minutes?"

I nodded and went back to fixing the dead man's suit jacket, straightening out the lapels. "Another stiff from Harper Manor?" That was the name of one of the local nursing homes.

Usually Waylen and I would joke around a bit to lighten up the mood, considering our work. But the way he was rubbing his neck, told me that he was in no mood to joke around.

"Um…nah, it's some kid that was just in an accident on the highway. Poor girl didn't even have her seatbelt on."

My head snapped up. "A girl? How old? What was she driving? What was her name?"

Waylen held up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, slow down, kid. Won't know nothin' til they get here. All I know is that she crashed a couple hours ago, and that uh…she's pretty mangled. Her face is pretty much gone, so it'll be a closed casket. Hospital morgue was full so they asked if they could bring her here instead. They don't usually do that…"

I stopped listening as my blood ran cold and I reached into my back pocket to grab my cell phone. I quickly dialed Bella's cell number but it went straight to voicemail. I growled and cursed myself because I didn't know the fucking number to her house. I called the Forks police station and calmly asked for Charlie but was told that he was off for the night. Just as I was about to call information, there was a knock on the side door where the bodies were always brought in.

I raced over and wrenched the door open to find the two guys from the coroner's office. They were standing beside the usual black body back on top of a gurney. It was the way the bodies were always brought to us so it shouldn't be anything alarming, except that this bag had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up on end.

The one Italian looking guy raised an eyebrow at me, silently asking me if I was going to move so they could come in. I stepped back without a word while the wheeled the gurney forward.

"What's the girl's name?" I murmured to the second guy, an older balding gentleman.

He stopped and looked down at the body bag. "We don't know yet. Couldn't find her ID."

My fingers began to tremble and my body shivered as I shuffled my feet toward the head of the gurney. With shaking hands, I started to unzip the bag, freezing when I saw brown hair, matted with blood.

I gasped and stepped back, running into a tray of instruments.

The girl had the exact same hair color as Bella, and the same pale white skin.

"_Shit, kid_," Waylen yelled. "You know this girl?"

My head shook of its own will. "_No_…" I muttered. "_No_… It can't be her."

Everything stayed silent until all I could hear was my rapid heartbeat.

"Wh-what was the car she was driving?" I asked - my voice thick with fear.

The bald man spoke up. "Uh…it was a white Honda Civic with paper plates from a dealership in Seattle," he whispered.

I sagged against the wall with relief. It wasn't Bella.

Thank God.

Taking slow deep breaths, I stood again and stalked to the front room and out the door to my car. The entire drive back to Forks I felt both sick and elated at the same time. I felt horrible for that poor girl's parents and elated that it was her and not my Bella. Then I felt guilty for feeling that way.

By the time I made it to Bella's house, I was an emotional wreck. The tires screeched as I pulled up in front of her house. It was after eleven at night and all the lights were off but I didn't care. The white 4-Runner was in the driveway along with Bella's Chevelle and that made me happy. Without another thought, I walked up to the front door and knocked determinedly.

A few seconds later, the front door swung open and a bleary-eyed Bella stood before me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"_Edward?_ What…what's going on? It's late and I thought you had to work until midnight."

I stood there and drank her in as she spoke. She was wearing little red shorts and a skin-tight, grey, Forks High basketball t-shirt and her hair was all mussed up like a haystack.

"Edward?" she asked again.

"You didn't answer your phone," I whispered. Charlie came down the stairs and stood behind her as I stared down at her. "They brought a girl in…same color hair…no ID…blood all over her…You didn't pick up your phone…you didn't pick up," I rambled.

Bella's hand was touching my arm where I stood, soaked to the bone from the heavy rain. "Oh God, Edward, you're shaking! Come inside." She tried to pull me inside, but I couldn't move.

"You didn't answer your phone and I thought…Fuck, Bella, I thought…"

She stepped closer until we were chest to chest, and placed her hands on my face, staring up at me. "I'm here, Edward. Nothing happened to me, okay? I'm alright. I'm here."

Charlie stepped forward and pulled me inside by my shoulder before he shut the front door behind us. I couldn't take my eyes off Bella, though. I heard Charlie sigh and felt his hand pat my shoulder a couple times before he shuffled off to the kitchen.

"Come on, let's get you dry," Bella said. She grasped my arm again and turned to go up the stairs, but I stood frozen, staring down at her. She halted in her steps and turned back to look up at me. "You coming?" she asked sweetly.

"I thought… I thought I lost you. She had the same color hair…she…she…"

"Edward, look at me." I thought I already _was_ looking at her. I focused on every detail of her face until all I could see was the little flecks of gold in her deep brown eyes. "I'm alright," she continued. "I promise, nothing's going to happen to me. I drive slower than _you_ do – slower than your grandmother, probably. _Seriously_," she chuckled but I didn't laugh. I could only stare at her. She looked down at my hands and gasped. "I thought you were just cold, but your hands are warm…you're still shaking. You really thought it was me, didn't you?"

Without another word, I pulled her to me and buried my face down in her neck, inhaling the smell of her lavender shampoo and feeling the warmth of her body. Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and held me, running her hands up and down my back. She didn't seem to care that I was soaking wet and dripping water on the floor, or that she was probably going to have to change her clothes and dry off as well.

We stayed like that for a long, long time, until finally Bella said that she had to pee. It made me laugh just slightly, but I would never forget that horrible night. Renee gave me several hugs and told me I was going to get wrinkles if I didn't quit worrying so much. Charlie didn't even protest when I slept in Bella's bed. He only came in once after we'd climbed in together to say that he better not hear the bed squeak once or he'd shoot my balls off and hang them on his trophy wall with all the other dead animals.

I laughed and promised him I'd be on my best behavior. It wasn't a lie. I had no interest in sex that night. I only wanted to hold Bella close to me, to prove that she was really there and not sitting in a body bag or a freezer somewhere. It was the most horrible thing I could ever imagine and it made me understand Bella's fear of death.

I quit my job at the mortuary the very next day.

.

.

.

For the next two months, Bella and I were inseparable – when I had free time, that is. My dad made me get another job, so this time I made sure to look harder for one in Forks. The only thing I could find though was cleaning cages and feeding animals at a local pet store. It didn't pay half as much as the mortuary job did, but I didn't give a shit about the money. It kept my dad off my back and allowed me to be closer to Bella.

We were able to spend a little more time together than before and though my dad constantly gave me shit about it, I was happy. We were happy.

Everything seemed to be going so perfectly, I should have known that our perfect fucking bubble was about to burst.

A week before graduation, I'd just come home from a party to find my mom and dad sitting on the couch, waiting up for me. I was about to call Bella and let her know I'd made it home alright, since she wasn't able to go to the party with me.

"What's up, guys?" I asked, suspicious of the way they were sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

"Honey, come sit down. We need to talk to you about something," my mother said, nervously.

I gulped and sat down on the coffee table across from them. The first thing that went through my mind was_, Oh shit, they want to chew my ass out about having sex with Bella in their house._

My dad had come home one night while we were getting busy in the dark on the couch – the same couch where my parents were now sitting, ironically – and although I was positive my dad hadn't seen anything, Bella was completely freaked out.

After a brutally excruciating pause, my dad finally spoke up.

"Edward, your mother and I have decided to get a divorce," he said as he swirled his glass of Scotch. He just said it like it was the weather report - cold and unfeeling.

Okay, I had already known this was coming for months – years even. I'd expected it.

I nodded at him and glanced over to my mother who was choking back tears. My chest suddenly clenched to see her breaking down. I moved to sit between them, putting my arm around my mom to comfort her.

"I've accepted a position in Seattle," my dad continued. "I leave next week," he said with no emotion in his voice. "Your mother is staying here in Forks."

My mom began to sob and shake until she finally got up from the couch and ran upstairs. A door slammed up above us and I looked over to my dad with malice and hatred.

"Don't look at me like that," he barked.

"Why didn't you just divorce her a long time ago, instead of putting her through this torture for so many fucking years?" I spat.

"You think I didn't _try?_ I did. I tried to leave your mother years ago when you were just a baby," he explained, looking at me as if I were a total idiot. I hated when he looked at me like that, so I lowered my head and stared at the cream-colored carpet fibers below my feet. "But the longer I stayed, the harder it was for her to accept. Which brings me to another thing I wanted to talk to you about."

I glanced up at him, confused.

"If you really care about Bella, you need to end this little thing you have with her. If you don't, you'll end up just like me and your mom. Bella will be just as miserable as your mother is now. Is that what you want for her?"

Completely shocked, I stared at him in disbelief. How could he be saying this shit? I was nothing like him.

"I would _never_ cheat on Bella," I swore.

He laughed through his nose and raised an eyebrow. "You say that now, but I was young and naïve once too, Edward. Don't fool yourself. Things change. _People_ change. And I used to say the same thing you're saying right now."

I shook my head and gritted though my teeth, "No fucking way. I'm nothing like you."

"You are _exactly_ like me," he snapped. "Let me ask you something. Did _you_ plan on going to the same college as Bella?"

"Yeah, so?"

"_So_, that is exactly the same thing your mother and I did. We went to high school together in Chicago. Then we went off to college together, and guess who got knocked up during the first year there?"

_Shit. How come I've never heard this story before?_ I thought.

"No," I argued, shaking my head. "We're careful. That won't happen to us."

He snorted in disbelief and stood up. "Suit yourself. But don't come crying to me when I'm right and you're twenty-years-old with a baby and a wife to support while you're struggling to make it through college and then _Med School_. And all the while, your wife is bitching about how you're never home and blah…blah…blah!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. I couldn't believe the fucked up things I was hearing from him. So I was the cause of my dad's infidelity? I was the reason he'd been such a miserable prick from the time I started to walk? That would never happen to us, would it?

"If you're smart," he continued, "You'll end things with that girl, _now_, and come with me to Seattle. It's the best thing you can do for her. Trust me. And then maybe, later on, if you still want anything to do with her after you've got your shit together, then by all means." I didn't say a word. I simply watched him pace back and forth and rant. "I'm telling you, if you really care about her,_ end it_." And with that, he got up and left the room.

I don't know how long I stared at the same patch of white fabric on the couch in front of me. It could've been minutes or hours. Eventually, my eyes began to sting and my muscles ached from sitting in the same position. I got up and trudged up the stairs like a zombie. Once I made it to my bathroom, I stepped into the shower and my mind went into overdrive.

_What if my dad is right?_

_Will that happen to us?_

_What would I do if she got pregnant? I don't think I would mind. It would be hard but I wouldn't be upset._

_Would I eventually start cheating on her?_

By the time I got out of the shower, my brain was fucking throbbing. I dragged my ass over to my bed and flopped down on my pillow. It smelled like Bella. Everything in my room reminded me of her. There was one of her shirts in my clothes hamper, even. I had pictures of us on my desk, and there were a couple of her books there as well.

I got up and picked up one of the picture frames from the desk. It was a picture of me and Bella, standing in front of her Chevelle with our arms embracing each other. Alice had taken the picture. The thing I loved most about this picture was that instead of looking at the camera, we were looking at each other and smiling. It was obvious to me how much I fucking loved Bella. And to see the way she was looking at me, I was pretty fucking sure she felt the same way, although we'd never said the words to each other.

I lay back down on the bed and threw my pillow over my face as all the worries and doubts slowly crept into my thoughts. My cell phone buzzed on my desk, but I ignored it. It was probably Bella, but I couldn't talk to her right then. I was afraid of what I might say. She hadn't gone to the party with me, and she probably just wanted to say goodnight, but I just couldn't talk to her.

.

.

.

The next week of was pure torture. I couldn't eat or sleep, and I couldn't seem to look Bella in the eyes or say much more than one-word-answers. I could tell she knew something was off, but she let it go, never pushing me for answers. Even on graduation day, she kept her distance from me, eyeing me cautiously.

Even Alice was acting weird toward me.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's a bad idea," Alice said when she passed me at the ceremony. She was always saying weird shit like that, but on that particular day, a chill ran up my spine after her words.

I'd already made a decision about what I was going to do. I just didn't want to have to do it. I felt like it was going to kill me. The day before graduation, I'd found out that Bella had not only gotten into University of Washington, she'd also been accepted by every college in the state of Washington that she'd applied to. So after the ceremony was over, I found Bella standing off to one side of the gym, talking to her parents. Emmett wasn't there and I was glad, because he'd definitely kick my ass for what I was about to do.

I quickly greeted her mom and dad, then touched Bella's arm briefly. If I let it linger too long, I'd chicken out of what I was about to do.

"Come and take a walk with me," I muttered quietly.

We began walking down the sidewalk and down a dirt pathway, away from the crowds of people. When we reached the end of the path, she stopped and turned to me.

"What the hell is going on?" Bella demanded. "You've been acting really weird lately and it's freaking me out."

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "My parents are getting a divorce and my dad's moving to Seattle."

Bella frowned and put her hand on my arm. When I backed away and she saw the look on my face, her frown deepened. "There's more isn't there," she said.

"I'm leaving… with my dad. Tomorrow."

She eyed me for a moment, not really understanding what I was saying to her. "O-kaaaay… well, I'll come visit you over the summer until me and Alice are ready to move down there."

I didn't say anything, and it seemed I didn't have to.

My heart fell as recognition passed over her face. "You don't want me to come visit you," she stated, not as a question.

"No." I felt like I was about to fucking throw up. It was pure fucking misery. _Why did I have to do this? Fuck!_

"Why?" she whispered.

_Why, why, why…._

"I'm… not good enough for you, Bella."

_Please, Bella, just go. I can't take seeing you in pain. Go. Run away from me._

She shook her head, smiling. "_What?_... What the hell are you talking about? You're perfect for me, Edward. And I….I love you."

_No! Why did she have to say it, now? Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

She touched my arm again and I took another step back. Her smile fell and she narrowed her eyes. "What's going on? You were fine last week, and now…now you're scaring me."

_Shit. Think, Cullen. She's not going to let this go unless you think of something to make her not want you anymore._

"The party," I blurted out before my brain could catch up with my mouth.

"The one you went to last week? The one at Lauren Mallory's hou….Oh fuck… Did…did something happen?" The blood drained from her face as her genius mind went to work.

"Um… yeah," I lied. "I was in the bathroom…and I was really drunk…Lauren came in and…I…" _Fuck!_ This was bullshit. It physically hurt to be telling her this horrible lie.

It was true that Lauren had been in the bathroom with me that night, but nothing had happened. I had just finished taking a piss when she barged in on me, and barfed all over the floor, nearly missing my feet, but not quite. I helped her to find the toilet, and then got the hell out of there. End of story. But Bella hadn't been there because she was working that night and couldn't get the night off.

"You…" Bella started to say, her breathing becoming ragged. "No…you couldn't…you…please tell me nothing happened," she begged, tears welling up in her eyes.

I kept my mouth shut and reached out to touch Bella's arm but she flinched away from me.

"Don't!" she hissed. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

"Bella," I murmured. "I'm _sorry._"

This shit had gone too far. I couldn't stand to see her like this. I'd suddenly changed my mind and decided I needed to tell her the truth – nothing really happened between me and Lauren.

She gasped for breath as she wrapped her arms around herself and backed away from me. I took another step forward to her, my heart feeling like it was being ripped out of my chest. Bella's bottom lip quivered before she reached up and slapped me hard across the face. I'll admit that it _really_ fucking hurt.

"Bella, just listen to me for a second," I pleaded. I was going to fix this. I had to. It was a stupid fucking idea in the first place. _Fuck what my dad says, I'm not leaving her._

"No _you_ listen to me," she seethed, a tear running down her cheek. "I hate you. I fucking… _hate_ you, Edward Cullen. Do you hear me? I hate you!"

"Don't say that," I pleaded. "Just listen, _please!_ I didn't really-"

"Go to Seattle, Edward," she interrupted me in a flat tone, her jaw set and her eyes staring past me. "Get out of here and don't come back. I won't follow you. In fact, I never want to see your fucking face, ever again….I hate you," she said through gritted teeth, as more tears spilled down her face.

_Well, congratulations you asshole, you broke her fucking heart anyway._

She turned and started stalking away. "Bella, wait!"

Bella whirled around. "Fuck you!"

She turned back without another word and ran over to her family, then passed them. They all looked over to me briefly before they followed after her. She ran across the parking lot and jumped into her car before speeding away, Charlie and Renee right behind her. I stared at the empty space where her Chevelle no longer sat for at least ten minutes, not knowing what to do.

My mom hadn't seen the whole thing go down since she was inside the school talking to some people, but she knew something had happened and tried to get me to go to dinner with her. I told her I didn't feel well and she let it go. I eventually got in my car and drove home. Once inside my house, I ran to the bathroom in the garage and threw up in the sink before punching the mirror.

If there was one thing I knew, it was how stubborn Bella was. She would _never _talk to me again after this, no matter how hard I tried to explain. And I tried hard. I called her cell phone several times that night. On the fifth call, I was informed that her number had been_ 'changed or no longer in service'._ I tried calling her house and Renee gave me the ass chewing of a lifetime, before slamming the phone down in my ear.

So I started packing, knowing I had royally fucked up everything. I took everything I could fit into two suitcases, including everything I had of Bella's. Even though she would probably pretend like I'd never existed, I couldn't do the same. I took everything of hers that I had – clothes, books, pictures, everything – and packed it.

Eventually, I'd have to let her go, but at the time I didn't know how. Bella was a big part of my life and I knew it. I'd basically fucked it all up and there was no fixing it.

The drive to Seattle was the longest of my life. Everything I saw along the way, reminded me of Bella in some way. It was fucking agony. So many times I wanted to turn around and drive back to her house and demand that she listen to me. I even contemplated telling her that I'd take a lie detector test to prove that it was all bullshit.

But the seeds of doubt that my father had already planted in my head were starting to grow.

_Maybe you did the right thing. _

"_You guys are too young to be getting so serious anyway. This is for the best," _my father kept saying_._

Then there were my own traitorous thoughts of doubt.

_Just let her go. She's better off without you._

_She'll find some guy who's not as fucked up as you are.._

_Ugh._ The thought of her with another guy disgusted and angered me. But above everything else, I just wanted her to be happy. I had to not be selfish for once and not think about what _I _wanted. Because what _I_ wanted was to go back to Forks, throw myself on her front doorstep until she heard me out, confess my undying love, and ask her to marry me.

Then I reasoned with myself and realized that was probably the dumbest thing I could possibly think of. If I didn't go to college, what kind of life could I possibly give her? I wouldn't be able to live off dear old Daddy's money forever. I needed to go to college and get my own life going, get my shit together. Then maybe I could make my way back to Bella and be the man that she deserved.

I pulled up to the address my dad had given me some time after eleven am the next day. It was a very upscale apartment complex near the heart of Seattle. I didn't say much to my dad as I unloaded my bags. He already had my room set up with new furniture and shit, but I couldn't give a flying fuck. I was like a zombie, just going through the motions. I didn't even bother unpacking before I left the apartment to go for a walk.

For what felt like an eternity, I walked the streets of downtown Seattle, seeing the sights, but not really seeing them. After aimlessly wandering for awhile, I eventually I stopped in front of a tattoo shop called _Mark_. What a stupid fucking name for a tattoo parlor.

Inside, there were only two guys sitting on a couch near the entrance, no customers besides me it seemed. One guy stood up to greet me. He had sandy blonde, shoulder length hair and looked to be about my age if not slightly older. Both of his arms had various tattoos covering them.

"Hey man," he drawled in a southern accent. "You lookin' to get some ink today?"

"Uh, yeah definitely."

"Well, alright. Come and take a seat over here, my friend, and we'll talk about what you think you might wanna _permanently_ mark yourself with." He gestured to a black leather reclining chair off to the side. There were several bottles of different colored ink, a tattoo gun and a photo album, sitting on the table beside the chair. He walked me over to the area and turned to me. "I'm Jasper by the way."

We shook hands. "Edward," I informed him.

I sat down in the chair, watching him as he pulled a rolling stool over and plopped down on it. "So, what did you have in mind?"

We talked for several minutes about the idea I had in my head. I could've drawn it out myself, but I just didn't have the energy. After a bit, he had it sketched up and ready for transfer paper.

Once the stencil was placed on my shoulder and I checked the placement, Jasper went to work. The hum of the tattoo gun seemed to hypnotize me as he worked diligently, the needle scratching and burning across my skin.

I closed my eyes and welcomed the pain into my skin. It was nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

Besides the meaning of the tattoo, Jasper only asked me questions about where I was from and how I ended up in Seattle. I told him everything, but mostly I talked about Bella, although I never actually mentioned her name.

It was therapeutic, talking to Jasper. It turned out he was going to the same college as me, studying psychology, and he was only a couple years older than me. He listened as I explained that my father, Carlisle, wanted me to be a doctor like him.

By the time the tattoo was finished, Jasper had convinced me to think about changing my major, since it didn't sound to him like 'medicine' was something I was remotely interested in. I told him about my drawings and he asked me to come back and show him sometime. It excited me to see someone else besides Bella who was so interested in my art. I agreed to come back the next day and bring him some of my work as I stood up to look at the finished product on my left shoulder.

The blood red human heart stood brightly against my pale skin, contrasting the orange and yellow flames that licked out of the top and sides of it. The bronze chains wrapped tightly around the heart, ending with a padlock near the heart's center. Jasper was amazed that the script lettering on the scroll beneath the heart had come out so well, as script was not his strongest skill - according to him. It read perfectly – '_Only she holds the key'._

As soon as I finished up at the tattoo shop, I ran over to the jewelry store I'd passed earlier in the day and paid for the necklace I'd seen there. It was a small, antique-looking, silver skeleton key on a silver chain. The handle of the key was shaped like a heart. I knew Bella hated yellow gold so this was perfect. The lady said it was platinum, not silver which was supposed to be even better. I had the lady gift wrap it and put it in a shipping box with my note, before mailing it at the post office.

_Bella,_

_Please don't throw this away. I know you hate me right now, but please just hold onto this until you're ready to hear what I have to say. I promise you things aren't as bad as you think they are. _

_Always,_

_Edward_

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**A/N: I know...I know... Hang in there.**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

**A/N: Thank you to all who have added this story to their updates list. One more update for today. :)**

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Chapter 11

"_How I miss you  
How I miss you  
How I miss you  
I should never call  
How I hope that you still miss me_

_Did I lose you?_  
_Did I lose you?_  
_Did I lose you?_  
_Somewhere down the line_  
_Hide & seeks alright if I find_

_Do you miss me_  
_Like I miss you_  
_If you miss me,_  
_Never go away_  
_Hopefully, you'll come stay someday_

_If you're leaving,_  
_come back soon_  
_That's not easy to say_

_I'll wait here,_  
_dream of you_  
_all alone as I ache"_

_**How I Miss You – Foo Fighters**_

After only two days in Seattle, I was convinced I was losing my fucking mind. I was walking over to the tattoo shop to show Jasper my drawings when I passed by a little coffee shop along the way. For some reason, I glanced into the glass window there and I could've sworn I saw Bella sitting there drinking out of a black mug.

When I did a double-take though, it clearly wasn't her. It was just some lady with the same hair color who was much older than Bella. I kept walking, wondered if I needed to lay down or something. Then a little voice shrilled behind me.

"Edward!"

I'd know that annoying voice anywhere. Alice.

I turned around to see Alice Brandon's tiny black head of hair jogging toward me in her torn jeans and _NOFX_ t-shirt, a look of unease on her pale, painted face.

"Hey," I mumbled. "What are you doing in Seattle already? I thought you weren't coming out here til school started."

"Oh I'm not moved out here yet, I'm just here for a few days to check out the apartment and then I'm going back to Forks."

"Oh." I shoved my hands in my pockets and we stood in awkward silence for what seemed like forever. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know. "How is she?"

"She's…fine…I guess," Alice murmured. "And she made me promise not to tell you anything if I ran into you, so don't even ask anything else."

I rolled my eyes. Of course Bella would say that.

"I know I screwed up, Alice. But it's not what you think. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't give me a chance and I just…I'm so fucked up right now. I don't know how to fix it - any of it."

Alice patted my arm in comfort. "It'll be alright. Just give her some time to calm down, and then talk to her."

I nodded in agreement and ran my left hand through my hair as Alice zeroed in on the bandage peeking out from under my black t-shirt sleeve. Her eyes widened and she beamed.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "I just got it yesterday."

"Ooh, ooh, can I see?" She was jumping up and down like a little kid. It made me laugh as I rolled up my shirt sleeve and peeled back the tape and plastic wrap. I should've known Alice would be excited about a tattoo since she had several piercings in her ears and her lip.

Alice's mouth gaped open as she stared up at the piece. She broke into a grin from ear to ear. "Only _She_, huh?" she asked with a knowing look.

I smirked knowing Alice had figured out who the _She_ was, but as my thoughts once again started to linger on Bella, my chest hurt and I had to change the subject.

"Hey, um, I was just on my way to the tattoo shop to show Jasper my drawings. You wanna come with?"

It wasn't that I really wanted to spend time with Alice, but it was nice to see a familiar face, even if she _was_ severely irritating most of the time with her verbal diarrhea. I swear sometimes that chick just had no verbal filter whatsoever. Still, I felt somehow comforted to have her there. Plus, I figured she might slip and say something about Bella, or at least I hoped. I knew I shouldn't want to know what she was doing, but I did anyway.

Alice tilted her head to the side. "Did you say the guy's name is _Jasper_?"

"Yeah, you know him?"

She shook her head. "No, but I like that name. It's not a one you hear everyday, ya know?" I nodded. "Let's go."

I rolled my sleeve back down and we started walking. We eventually made it to the shop and the minute we strolled in, Jasper's head snapped up from the girl's hip that he was working on. He smiled chin-nodded at me, then glanced over to Alice, giving her an even bigger, goofier grin. Suddenly, his eyes darted back and forth between me and Alice until his smile slowly fell and he went back to his work. I looked over to Alice who was staring at him, stupefied, her eyes glazed over like she was in a trance.

I was about to tell Alice to have a seat on the couch when she pushed away from me and stalked straight ahead to Jasper and his female client. The scantily-clad customer watched Alice as she held out her hand to Jasper.

"I'm Alice," she said with confidence. "You're Jasper, right?"

He sat back in his chair and stared at her in awe until she withdrew her hand. Jasper held up his gloved hand to show her.

"Uh…I can't shake your hand, darlin'. I'm all gloved up right now…um…" He was looking all around his station – for what I have no idea. Alice suddenly bent over and grabbed him by the face and planted a big wet kiss on his lips. The female customer's jaw dropped while my own eyes widened in disbelief. I smiled at the shocking scene before me because I had no idea Alice could be so forward. I'd never even seen Alice with a boyfriend all through school, and then she just pounces on Jasper like she's known him forever.

When Alice finally let go of Jasper, he stared up at her, red lipstick smeared all over his lips, and looked over to me in question. I happily shrugged my shoulders, laughing at the ridiculous look on his face.

"Uh…" Jasper stuttered.

Alice gave him a coy, smug smile before turning on her heel and marching past me and toward the door. "Bye, Edward! See ya later, _Jasper_…" she sang as she walked out the door.

All four people in the shop turned their attention to me.

"_Please_ tell me that's not the _she_," Jasper begged me.

I shook my head. "No way, dude. That crazy little thing is just a friend. And she's all yours now," I laughed, pointing to his face. He turned to look at the mirror behind him, then grabbed some paper towels to wipe the lipstick off.

A huge grin broke across his face. "Good…that's good," he replied as he went back to his work. I pulled up a stool to see the tat he was working on. It was a Koi fish on the girl's outter left hip and Jasper was shading in the scales with orange while the girl sat there in her thong and a tight red tank top. "Hey man, did you bring your sketches?" he asked.

"Yeah, here." I opened my sketch pad to him and flipped slowly through the pages. Some of the sketches were of famous Basketball players, some were of landscapes and buildings back in Forks, but the majority of them were of Bella. I'd never shown the rest of them to her. She'd only seen the ones I'd given her as gifts.

Picture after picture of Bella – sleeping, laughing, giving me the stink eye, a couple of her and Alice, and one of Bella and Renee that I'd copied from a photo in Bella's room. Then there were the ones that were more candid, her face looking off into the distance. My favorite was the one I'd drawn a few days prior – completely from memory, of Bella biting her bottom lip and giving me that look she'd always give me before attacking me for sex.

"Ah," Jasper said. "So _that's_ the _she_."

"Yeah," I smiled.

"She's fucking gorgeous, man. What the hell happened?" he asked as he went back to work shading the fish scales.

I sighed. "It's…complicated."

"Hmm," he replied. "Usually is, my friend. So…you ever thought about tattooing?"

I thought it was strange how he changed the subject so quickly and the question he asked was even stranger. I tilted my head and looked at him skeptically. "Uh…no, I never have, I guess."

The older guy in the chair across from Jasper piped up, "Hey kid, if you can tattoo as well as you can draw, then, I'd say you've found your calling. Jasper… man, let him try some shading on my skull piece. I don't mind." The guy's back was covered with various pictures that he'd obviously been getting over years and years.

He didn't even know my name and he was willing to let me put some permanent ink on his flesh.

"Alright," Jasper agreed and turned to me. "Let me finish this last bit over here."

I nodded and watched as he finished the girl's Koi fish and bandaged her up after she fawned all over him and her new ink. He didn't even seemed fazed by the girl or her charms – not like the daze he'd been in when Alice had planted one on him. He took his payment from the girl and thanked her for coming in before sending her on her way and walking back over to me. "Put some gloves on and come on over."

Jasper set up another station and prepped the burley guy while I gloved up, then moved over so that I could get close enough and put the tattoo gun in my hand, showing me where to hold it. He held his hand over mine at first to get the feel of it and then let me go on my own. After the first few strokes I felt completely comfortable and I was hooked. I actually ended up finishing the tattoo while jasper wiped it down, showing me when to stop and wipe for myself, and when to stop for more ink.

I had no idea how much time had passed before the tattoo was finished, but Jasper was so impressed with my work, he asked the owner to let me apprentice under him. The owner was hesitant at first until he saw what I'd done and finally agreed. When I walked out of the shop later on, it dawned on me that I didn't have to choose a career when it'd already chosen me.

I desperately wanted to be a tattoo artist.

My dad was going to be pissed. And I fucking loved it.

I decided then and there to change my major from Pre-Med to Business. That way I could eventually own my own tattoo shop.

Things were starting to look up…slightly. My adrenaline high wore off as soon as I left the shop though. A car passed by and the girl driving looked just like Bella. I ran home and jumped in the shower, trying to shake off the feeling that I was going fucking crazy. When I stepped out of the shower, I stared at my tattoo in the mirror. It was like I could hear Bella's voice in my ear, telling me that she loved the fact that I'd put a piece of her on my flesh.

That gave me an idea and I started sketching. Two weeks later I was in Jasper's chair getting inked again. This time it was the sketch I'd drawn – a 40's style pin up girl with one leg down, toes pointed, one knee to her chest, looking over her shoulder. I'd seen the picture hanging up in my dad's garage when we lived in Forks. The original girl in the picture had strawberry blonde hair and a white dress with yellow flowers. I changed my girl's dress to an emerald green one – just like the one Bella had worn on her birthday - and her hair to a dark brown.

Jasper only smirked and nodded silently when he realized that I'd also changed the face to look like Bella. He still didn't know her name, but he knew I was obsessed with the girl from my sketches.

I had him place the stencil on the inside of my left forearm.

"You sure you want it here, man? It's pretty visible," Jasper checked.

"Yup, that's exactly where I want it. I'll wear long sleeve shirts if I ever have to go someplace nice."

"Your mom's gonna kill you," he laughed.

"Nah, she won't mind." I had already told my mom about the first tattoo. She actually thought it was really cool and she even came to Seattle to have lunch with me a few days after I'd gotten it. She didn't ask me what happened with me and Bella, but I know she knew we'd broken up. She definitely wasn't happy about it, but she let it go, thankfully. I didn't have the balls to tell my mom what a fuck-up I'd made.

By the time summer had ended, I'd managed to cover most of my left arm with tattoos relating to Bella in some way. Jasper had added more flames at the cap of my shoulder, and the flames faded down to ocean waves. The ocean waves surrounded a female head and shoulder looking up, with hair that meshed into the waves. On her shoulder was the symbol for Virgo – Bella's horoscope sign.

Jasper didn't say much about that one. He did however insist on adding more "masculine" pictures in the future. So he had no problem putting the lion from the Cullen crest on my left bicep.

My mom was the one who'd given me the idea. It turns out that my great grandfather Cullen was not a bastard like my dad and his father. My mom and I laughed about that one for at least an hour, saying that hopefully the bastard gene skipped a few generations or maybe had fizzled out with my father.

Speaking of bastard fathers, I'd decided by the end of the summer that there was no way in hell I could live with my dad anymore. He didn't know that I'd changed my major, and for the time being, I wasn't going to tell him anything, including my tattooing, and my mom agreed that she would keep quiet on it as well. He knew nothing of my tattoos since I always wore long sleeves or a jacket around him, and I intended to keep it that way. At first I'd planned on telling him to fuck off with his money for school, but the more I thought about it, he was my _father_ for Christ's sake, so he could at least pay for my education since he didn't give a shit about anything else in my life. Maybe it was fucked up to think that way, but that's how I felt.

Still, I couldn't live with him.

I couldn't find a dorm room at the last minute though, so Jasper offered to let me stay at his apartment. It was huge, big enough for three people and he had one other roommate who was never there, so it was perfect. I moved in right away and my dad didn't even seem to care. He was always at work or out with some random chick, so I guess he had better things to do. I didn't care either.

School started up that in early September and it turned out that the business classes were a fuck-load more interesting than Biology and Chemistry, but not interesting enough to keep my thoughts off Bella.

I trudged along each day, going through the motions but absorbing all the information at the same time. Since I wasn't taking money from my dad – except for school, I'd worked every spare second I had at the shop. I even sold my car so I could have money in the bank. It was a classic, so I easily got eighteen grand for it. But I wanted to save that money for when I planned to open my own shop, so I put most of the money away and lived off what I made at the shop. My client base was small, but since Jasper one of the other guys had been giving me some of their clients, and I'd gotten a few walk-in's of my own, it was enough to keep me fed.

I quickly became exhausted from the horrendous school schedule and lack of sleep though. It became so difficult at times, that I wanted to just quit everything and hitch a ride back to my Mom's house and sleep forever. Whenever I needed a reminder to keep going, I'd look to my forearm and see Bella's face and that was all I needed. I still kept bugging Alice for information, but she still wouldn't budge. She was over at our apartment all the time visiting Jasper, though I never saw her since they stayed in his room almost all the time. They'd become a couple so fast it made my head spin. They seemed to waste no time and I envied that in them.

.

.

.

In late October, we decided to celebrate Jasper's birthday at our place with a party. He was pretty popular on campus since he'd already been there for a couple years before me, and between the two of us we built up a steady client base for tattoos. I'd also received several girls' phone numbers at school, but I wasn't interested. I only had one girl on my mind. _Always on my mind._

The night of Jasper's party, I'd managed to get pretty fucked up. I remember leaning against a low book shelf on one side of the living room when my body began to hum and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I looked up from my half-empty beer and glanced across the room. Even through my slightly hazy vision, I was sure it was her this time.

She was standing next to a tall, lean guy with black hair that spiked up in a Mohawk. My eyes drifted from her long wavy brown hair, down to the short green dress – _that_ green dress – and black heels she was wearing, making those creamy white legs impossibly long. Though she looked thinner than usual, I still thought she looked gorgeous. She had a bottle of beer in one hand as she listened to whatever the guy was telling her, while the other hand reached up to pull her long hair up and drape it over one shoulder, revealing her slender neck to me… and the Mohawk dude.

Suddenly she glanced in my direction and I forgot how to breathe. I pushed up the rolled up sleeves of my button up shirt, and shoved my hands in the pockets of my pants as I stood up straight.

Our eyes locked as we gauged each others reaction. A shy, timid smile played on her lips and her eyes slightly twinkled, causing me to grin goofily in return.

A hand came up to my shoulder on my left and I turned to see the tall brunette girl from my economics class named Gianna. I had no idea what she was saying because I wanted to go talk to Bella, but the next thing I knew, Gianna had pulled my head to hers, kissing me, attacking me with her lips and shoving her tongue into my mouth. I attempted to push her back gently but she was relentless.

Finally, I was able to peel her off and told her to stop. I didn't want to kiss anyone but Bella. But when I turned my head back to look across the room, she was gone. The guy with the Mohawk was still there talking to another brunette girl and I shook my head, trying to clear it.

I pushed away from Gianna and made my way across the room, glancing around wildly, searching for her. I asked Mohawk dude where the girl in the green dress went, but he wouldn't say shit. He was drunk too, so maybe that was why. I couldn't find her anywhere inside so I went out to the balcony. She wasn't there either. Turning on my heel, I darted out of the apartment and down to the street, again finding nothing. I leaned up against the building and shook my head. Maybe I really was going crazy.

Jasper and Alice were too busy making out in the kitchen for me to bother them when I returned upstairs. Gianna found me again but I brushed her off and went to my bedroom, alone. After locking the door, I flopped down on my bed, staring at the ceiling as it spun around while the music thumped through the walls. Closing my eyes, the image of her in _the_ green dress burned into my vision.

It had to be her, it had to be.

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**A/N: Do you think she was really there?... ;) **


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

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****Tissue Warning****

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Chapter 12

"_Move along_

_There's nothing left to see_

_Just a body_

_Pouring down the street_

_Move along_

_There's nothing left to see_

_Just a body_

_Nothing left to see_

_Move along"_

_**Gagging Order - Radiohead**_

On a chilly Sunday morning in November, the week before Thanksgiving, Alice called me six times in a row before I picked up the phone. She and Jasper were in Texas visiting his family and I was back at the apartment, nursing a hangover. Alice was crying so hard that Jasper was the one who had to tell me the horrific news.

Bella's mom had died just that morning, so Alice and Jasper were scrambling to find a flight back to Seattle.

I blinked my sleepy eyes repeatedly and stopped breathing for a moment, swearing to myself that it had to be a bad dream.

After a moment, Alice took the phone from a sullen Jasper to give me more details.

Alice sniffed back tears as she told me how Bella had found Renee in the shower that morning, wondering why she was in there for so long. Charlie was at work and Bella had just come home for Thanksgiving break the day before. Alice suspected that maybe Renee had a heart attack or something, though she seemed too young for that in my opinion. We didn't find out until a week later that it was a blood clot in her lung – a complication from her smoking and a new birth control pill she was taking.

I was already figuring out how fast we could get down to Forks before Alice had even finished the story.

This wasn't the way I wanted to see Bella again.

My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces for her. Why hadn't she called me? I knew she was still mad at me, but why couldn't she call me about this? Just because she hated me now, she had to know that I still cared and would be there for her.

_It doesn't matter, you jackass. Stop thinking about yourself and get down there to her._

"What's going on?" Gianna asked when I hung up the phone. She was sitting up in bed with the sheets wrapped around her naked body. I couldn't even look at her as I began rifling through my drawers for clothes. "Where are you going?" she asked with irritation after I didn't answer her immediately.

"My friend's mom just died. I have to go down to Forks," I explained as I grabbed a pair of jeans from my dresser. My brain throbbed from my hangover and her loud, bitchy voice was making it significantly worse.

She huffed and tossed her long brown hair over her shoulder. "Well, are you going to be back tonight? Because, we have that party at Vanessa's to go to. I already told her we'd be there."

I stood there in my boxers and gaped at her in disbelief.

_Are you fucking kidding me right now?_

"Gianna, I just told you that my friend's mom died. _She fucking died_ and all you can do is bitch about a stupid fucking party?"

She gave me a dirty look and rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll go by myself. Are you coming back tomorrow though or what?"

I shook my head and glared at her with seething narrowed eyes. I couldn't believe I'd ever tried to date this dumb, uncaring bitch. We'd started going out occasionally after Jasper's birthday party and even though she mostly irritated the shit out of me with her gum popping and talk of fashion trends, I kept accepting her invites to go to the bar and occasionally sleeping with her.

In hindsight, I should've just left her crazy ass alone.

"_No_, I'm not coming back tonight, or tomorrow. But when I do get back, make sure you're not here. I don't want to see you again. Matter of fact, get up, get your shit, and get the hell out." As I held my jeans in one hand, I started picking up her clothes off the floor near the foot of the bed with the other, balled them up and threw them at her. "If you're still here when I get out of the shower, I'm calling the cops."

Her mouth popped open as she gaped at me. I grabbed a black t-shirt and long-sleeve flannel from my closet before heading into my bathroom and slamming the door. I took a scalding hot shower and washed remains of her off my skin, feeling guilty and disgusted with myself for ever even touching her.

.

.

.

Dressing quickly after my shower, I ran to the kitchen to get the keys to Jasper's truck from the hook - satisfied with the fact that Gianna was in fact gone - and booked it out of the apartment.

Jasper sent me a text just as I climbed into his grey Ford F150, telling me that they were flying out late that night. He felt bad that it was the earliest flight they could get.

After suddenly realizing I'd probably be in Forks for more than just a day, I ran back in the apartment and threw a bunch of clothes into my gym bag, along with my toothbrush and some other shit. Ten minutes later, I was back in Jasper's truck, heading towards the highway.

The drive down to Forks took me two and a half hours instead of the usual three, and soon I was pulling into the Swan's driveway, behind a tan Chevy pickup. Charlie's Police cruiser was up on the front lawn and Bella's Chevelle sat in front of the curb, and the Coroner's van was only just driving away. My phone rang at the same time that I cut the engine to the truck and I looked at it, only to see that it was Gianna.

Again.

There were seven missed calls, four voicemails, and eight scathing text messages where she proceeded to tell me how much of an asshole I was for kicking her out, when would we go out again, what time was I coming back that night, why was I being so mean, and so on. The phone rang again as I was reading the last text, so I shut it off completely before tossing it to the floorboard.

After I jumped out of the truck, I dashed up the steps and through the front door, not bothering to knock. Once inside, I found Charlie, still in his uniform, sitting on the couch with an older Native American man sitting next to him, consoling him. Jacob Black came out of the kitchen with a glass of water, handing it to Charlie who was slumped over, his head in his hands.

"Hey," Jacob quietly acknowledged me.

"Hey."

I walked over to the couch to put a hand on Charlie's shoulder and he looked up at me with watery, swollen red eyes, and patted my hand. I didn't know what to say but it hurt my heart to see his normally intimidating form so broken and devastated. He slowly lowered his head, clutching his salt and pepper hair tightly as he went back to his grieving. I looked back over to Jacob who was now standing to my left.

"Emmett's flying in from Alaska later today," he informed me. "And Bells…She's upstairs in her room. She won't talk to anyone, I already tried."

Without another thought I pushed past him to go up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Once I rounded the corner, I came up to her closed bedroom door and knocked gently. There was no answer but I went ahead and opened it anyway. Her room looked completely empty and I almost thought she wasn't in there until I spotted the top of the back of her head peeking out from the other side of her bed.

She was sitting on the floor with her head buried in her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. It was the same way she'd been all those years ago when Eric Yorkie had made her cry. I made my way around the bed and kneeled in front of her.

"Bella."

Her head slowly rose and the pain in her eyes damn near leveled me to the ground. They were puffy and bloodshot and she had dark circles under them like she hadn't slept in months. Her cheeks were hollow, her lips dry and cracked. I hadn't seen her since that day at Graduation, but she looked like she'd lost at least ten pounds from her already tiny body.

_How could she look this bad in one day?_

_Oh…fuck._

_This is from…_

_I did this to her. Me. _

There was no way possible for her be so skinny and worn down in just a matter of hours. Sure the puffy eyes were due to the loss of her mother, but somehow I just knew that I was the cause of the rest.

_Shit._

Her lip trembled and her eyes began to water. I reached out with both arms and slowly tried to pull her to me, not knowing if she'd push me away or not. She came willingly and threw her arms around my neck as she began to sob uncontrollably, her entire body shuddering with despair. I cradled her in my lap as the tears flowed down her cheeks, soaking into my shirt.

It killed me. Fucking _killed_ me to see her so sad and as if I could even help it, a few tears spilled from my own eyes – for Renee _and_ for Bella. All I could do was hold her as tightly as possible and tell her everything would be okay while I rubbed her back and kissed the side of her forehead. I had no idea what to do for her and it gutted me.

She held on to me tightly for hours until she eventually relaxed in my arms, either from relief or from sheer exhaustion. Time passed slowly as we sat quietly together and eventually her bedroom door creaked open further, Emmett's hulking and disheveled form entering the room. His bleary eyes focused on where I held Bella's tiny body in my arms where we sat huddled on the floor. Slowly he came over to us and crouched down to the floor, lightly touching Bella's arm.

Her head lifted slightly and she sluggishly opened her eyes to focus them on Emmett. They shared a knowing look between them and she abruptly pushed away from me and flung herself into his burly arms. He smelled like saltwater and fish, and it was so strange to see them like this. In all the years I'd known them, they constantly fought like cats and dogs, and yet, here they were, embracing.

"S'okay, Bells," he comforted her. "I'm here now…it's okay, it's gonna be okay. We'll be okay…" His voice warbled just a bit at the end as he choked back tears.

Bella didn't cry as much as she had when I'd held her, she just gripped onto his large neck as he rocked her back and forth for awhile before picking her up and sitting on her bed with her still in his lap. I stood up and watched them, not knowing what else to do. I'd never seen Bella break down like that. She was always so strong normally, and while I completely understood why, it was still a shock to my system. Emmett silently nodded for me to go, but I didn't want to.

"I got her, bro," he said quietly. "Can you go see if my dad needs anything and tell Rose to call my Aunt Charlotte back?" I nodded and reluctantly left the room, watching Emmett comfort his sister as they both grieved in silence.

Rosalie was downstairs sitting next to Charlie, who hadn't left his spot on the couch, but was talking and seemed to be doing better. Jacob and the man who I later found out was Jacob's father, Billy Black, stood by the fireplace having a silent discussion. My mom showed up an hour later with some casserole dishes and we did our best to keep Charlie's spirits up while Renee's body lay at the local Mortuary.

I wanted to go see Renee, to say goodbye and confirm that she was really gone, because it all just seemed too surreal. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to see Renee that way or to remember her like that.

Alice and Jasper arrived right after my mom, and Alice bolted up the stairs while Jasper sat and talked to Charlie. I was grateful for his presence because he was so good at comforting people, always knowing the right thing to say. My mom insisted that Jasper and Alice stay at our house since we had the room and they hadn't looked into lodging just yet. Alice was weary about it, but I assured her we had the space.

After everyone left, I went to check on Bella and found her in her bedroom talking to Rosalie. When I entered the room, they stopped whatever hushed conversation they were having, and Rosalie got up from the edge of Bella's bed and gave me a friendly but sad smile. She gave Bella a hug and left the room.

"You should go home," Bella told me. "You look tired."

"I'm not leaving you." Surprisingly, she didn't argue with me. Instead, she nodded and stared down at the floor, pulling her knees further into her chest. She still had her clothes on from the morning and it was already well past midnight. I went to her dresser and pulled out some sweats and a t-shirt, then brought them to her. "Go change into these so we can go to bed." Her eyes shot up to mine. "I told you I'm not leaving you, now go change," I gently told her.

Without further argument, she took the clothes from my hand and slid off the bed, shuffling slowly to the bathroom. She was back a few minutes later, just after I had pulled on a long-sleeve thermal and changed into some pajama pants. Nothing was said as we climbed under the covers together, and she didn't fight me as I wrapped her up in my arms. I wanted to say something, anything that would ease her pain, but no words came. And since there were no words, the only sounds that echoed through the room were Bella's muffled sobs as she cried into my chest.

.

.

.

The next few days were like a bad dream. Bella didn't come out of her room for the entire first day after, and no one could get her to talk or eat anything, not even me. Her Aunt Charlotte – the psychologist or whatever - arrived the next day, and even she couldn't get Bella to talk. That worried me. I stayed with her and held her each night while she cried herself to sleep. The second day she was glued to her dad's side, as was Emmett. They all did their best to comfort each other. Emmett and Rosalie had made a quick decision to move back to Forks and live with Charlie for a while. They didn't want him to be alone since Bella was apparently still in school and lived too far away to drive home all the time.

It turned out that she _had_ been going to the same school as me the whole time, but she'd done her best to avoid me. She'd done a great job, because I'd never seen her on campus - not once.

Except for the one time I'd sworn I saw her at Jasper's birthday party. Alice wouldn't even look me in the eyes after Jasper let it slip that she _was_ there. It pissed me off and I decided I was going to have a long talk with Alice after we got back to Seattle.

Alice explained that after I broke up with Bella, she'd wanted to go to school somewhere else so that she didn't have to be where I was, but it was too late to get in anywhere and her parents practically forced her to go to Seattle with Alice. She'd also made Alice swear not to tell me. She'd been applying to colleges in other states and was waiting to hear from a university in Arizona about a transfer request when Renee passed.

That night, as I held Bella, I desperately wanted to bring up what had happened between us but I knew it was shitty timing, so I pushed the idea from my mind. I'd planned to wait until we were both back in Seattle and I'd spent a little more time with her. I'd planned to be at her side every minute possible, trying to keep her happy in whatever way I could until I had found a better opportunity to talk to her about what really happened with Lauren and how I'd foolishly lied to her. Unfortunately, I didn't get that chance.

.

.

.

The funeral was exactly what I'd expected; gut-wrenching. Everyone in the town of Forks seemed to be there. Charlie hadn't expected_ so_ many people to show and we were amazed at the packed church. It was obvious to me that he was a complete mess inside, but he held himself up as best he could. Emmett was doing surprisingly well, although Rosalie had confided in me that he'd been crying like a baby at night when no one was around. He felt guilty for not being around more and not spending enough time with his mom while he could.

It made me realize that I needed to spend more time with my own mother and less time partying and stupid shit like that.

I kept a close eye on Bella at the funeral. She was completely stone-faced, staring blankly ahead as I held her hand tightly in mine. Alice said that Bella had told her she felt numb, like she was having an out of body experience with the whole thing. Much as I tried, I couldn't get Bella to really talk to me. The night of the funeral, she cried harder than the days previous, and I barely got any sleep, but I didn't care about that.

The next morning, I left Bella's house early to go have breakfast with my mom and take a shower. I ended up spending the morning with my mom, Alice and Jasper. By noon, Alice was cooking lunch with my mom while I drove my mom's BMW over to Bella's to check on her and pick her up. I figured it might do her some good to get out of the house for a while. Her black Chevelle was parked on the curb with a _For Sale_ sign in the window. I quirked an eyebrow as I pulled into the driveway behind Charlie's police cruiser, wondering why she would want to sell the Chevelle. She loved that car and swore she'd never ever get rid of it. As I was getting out of the car, I also noticed that Renee's white, Toyota 4-Runner was gone. Charlie was sitting on the porch steps chugging a can of beer.

"Heyyyyy, kiddo," Charlie slurred.

_Shit_. He was drunk. Really, really hammered. His eyes barely opened, it was that bad.

"Hey, Chief Swan, you uh…you alright?"

"Deh–dt-deh, deh," he stopped me, waving his hand. "Told ya before, kid, call me Charlie."

I nodded and shoved my hands in my pockets. Emmett came out the front door looking exhausted, and rolled his eyes at his drunken father. He was holding a shoebox in his hands but he set it down on the steps and started to help Charlie up.

"C'mon, Dad, let's get you to bed," Emmett told him. He helped him inside, telling me to wait on the porch. When Emmett came back outside a few minutes later he plopped down on the step his father had previously taken as a seat. He picked up the shoebox and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked him.

"Uh…that's for you…from Bella. She uh…said to give it to you and that she didn't want it anymore." He scratched at his head, looking a little too nervous for my liking.

I opened the box to find everything I'd ever given Bella. _Her CD_, the ticket stub from the concert we went to, her charm bracelet, pictures of us… _What the hell's going on? _There was a note inside the box.

_Edward, _

_I can't do this anymore. I can't stay here anymore, and my dad thinks I should go, so I'm going. Thank you for everything you did for me these last few days. I guess I can't say that I completely hate you anymore, but I see now that things are never going to work out between us. We just weren't meant to be together, and I accept that. You can have this stuff if you want it. If not, trash it, burn it, whatever. I don't want to be reminded of the past. I'm going somewhere where I can get a fresh start. I think it's time for me to move on._

_I hope you find everything you're looking for in life. Good luck with everything, and take care of yourself._

_Bella_

My head snapped up to meet Emmett's eyes.

"She's gone, man," he explained at my horrified expression. "I tried talking some sense into her, but she got a phone call this morning and whoever it was really upset her. Then her and my dad got into a fight about her failing classes and shit. She asked my dad if she could take a year off from school and stay with him and then he really started yelling and made her cry. Anyway, she called my Aunt Charlotte, packed up her shit a couple hours ago and left for Arizona."

"_Arizona?"_

_Fuck! No, no, no…she can't leave._

"Emmett, can you call her? Call Bella and tell her to come back. Fuck!"

He shook his head. "She already said she was leaving it off. What the hell happened between you guys anyway? I thought for sure you two would be sneaking off to Vegas or some shit by now."

I sat down on the cold, damp ground below the porch steps and threw my head into my hands. Who fucking called her and sent her packing for Arizona, and why did she still not want to talk to me? Fuck, she could be so damn stubborn sometimes. And I didn't really want to explain the whole situation to Emmett, for fear he'd beat the fuck out of me. "It's complicated," I told him, and he thankfully let it go at that.

Emmett was quiet for the longest time and I watched him stare off into space from the corner of my eye. I felt so bad for him and couldn't imagine what he was going through.

My cell phone rang in my back pocket and I jumped, startled. I prayed it was Bella, but to my disappointment, it was just my mother.

The phone call was brief, as my mom wanted to know if I could pick up some mayonnaise on the way home. As soon as I hung up with her, my phone started ringing again. Gianna. I hit the _decline_ button and shut the phone off.

Emmett and I sat quietly on the front steps in awkward silence again until my attention focused on the black car sitting in front of the yard. Bella's Chevelle held so many memories of our relationship together and it killed me to think of anyone else driving it. "Hey, how much did Bella want for her car?" I jutted my chin toward the Chevelle.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Get this shit, bro. She told me to only ask a grand for it. I mean I know it needs some repairs but I think she's lost her fucking mind, seriously. That thing has to be worth ten at the very least."

"A _grand?_ _That's it?"_

Was she really fucking crazy? That car was worth at least fifteen thousand dollars or more. _Why the hell would she even want to sell…oh shit._ She didn't want to be reminded of the past…of me. I'd taken her virginity on the hood of that car, and had her in the back seat many, _many_ times, not to mention the…_other_ things we did in there…_That's why she's selling it, and why she gave me all the shit back…Fuck!_

"I'll give you eighteen grand for the car."

His jaw dropped and he gave me a look like I was crazy. "_Eighteen_…she only wants a thousand bucks. I don't-"

"Well, then send her a thousand, and give the rest to Charlie. I'll feel better about the money if it helps him out." Bella's family wasn't poor, but still.

"Five grand would be fine."

I shook my head. "Eighteen." It was all the money I had saved up for my future tattoo shop, but I didn't care. If I had to, I'd go ask my fucking dad for the money to open the shop when I was ready.

"Uh…okay, bro…if you're sure…"

"I'm sure, man." Oh, I was more than sure about it. I couldn't let somebody else have that car. "I'll give you the money tomorrow. Just drive the car over to the house when you guys come for dinner."

He nodded in agreement, just as Jacob and Billy Black pulled up

"Hey, Emmett," Jacob greeted him as they walked up.

"Hey, Black," Emmett responded stiffly. I got the feeling that Emmett still didn't like Jacob, or maybe I was just seeing things incorrectly. But just then, Rosalie pulled up in their rental car and glared at the Blacks as well. She got out of the car, walked over to Emmett and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then turned and shot a dirty look at the two men.

"We came to see Charlie," Billy said, his eyes shifting from Emmett to me.

Emmett stood up, towering over him. "My dad's passed out on the couch. You guys will have to come back later," he told the man firmly.

"Oh, but I brought some of Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry and some Vitamin R," Billy exclaimed, holding up one of the two six-packs of beer he held in his arms. Jacob rolled his eyes at his dad and shook his head silently behind him. Clearly, this wasn't _his_ idea, but Emmett still looked like he wanted to backhand the kid anyway.

"Thanks guys," Emmett continued politely. "But I think my dad's had enough to drink. If you wanna come back tomorrow, that'd be fine. But leave the beer at home, alright?"

The two nodded and reluctantly went back to their truck. After they left, Emmett let out an exasperated huff.

"Fucking asshole. Like alcohol's going to fix anything," Emmett grumbled and shook his head.

It amazed me how much Emmett had changed from the immature, arrogant asshole I'd known before. He seemed so strong now, and I admired him.

I shrugged, defeated once again, and went inside to eat with them. Surprisingly, Rosalie made a pretty mean turkey sub. Once Charlie woke up, he hugged me and thanked me for coming around to visit. We talked for a couple hours about Renee and Bella. He wasn't happy about the way he'd left things with Bella before she'd taken off, but he said that it'd be good for her to be with her Aunt Charlotte for awhile, and then she'd most likely be back.

He was wrong. She never came back to Forks. Instead, she'd moved in with her Aunt Charlotte, and started going to school out there. Alice offered little more information other than the fact that Bella wasn't planning on ever coming back to Washington, and if she even visited, she had no desire to see me. At first I was kind of pissed that she'd just blow me off like that after I'd taken care of her, but my feelings of ire slowly faded into sadness of not being able to make things right with her.

I had lost her.

To make matters worse, months later when Gianna finally got the message through her head that we were through, she drunkenly confessed to me that she'd gotten Bella's name from one of the guys at school who knew her, looked up her house number in Forks and called there looking for me. When Bella asked her who she was and she'd lied and told her she was my _girlfriend_, Bella had slammed the phone down in her ear.

I wanted to slam Gianna's psycho-ass face into a wall.

I tried contacting Bella after that, but failed miserably. She'd disconnected her phone altogether after the first time I'd stolen the number from Alice's cell and Alice wouldn't budge on giving me any more information after that.

Slowly but surely, I gave up all hope of being with her again. I had parked her Chevelle in my mom's garage, covered it with a tarp and had my mom drive me back to Seattle. The shoebox had already come home with me and took up residence in my bottom dresser drawer, while I went back to my life.

I went to school, went to work and tattooed people, went home and either got high with Jasper or got drunk and passed out, got up late the next day, and did it all over again.

Broken record. That was my life for a long while after that.

Alice and Jasper got married the next year and I wasn't able to attend the wedding because I ended up having my appendix taken out on the day of my flight to Texas. I was so pissed and disappointed for letting my best friend down but Jasper swore up and down that it was no big deal. Days later when I came out of my vicodin-induced stupor, I still felt like a dick.

Bella was there with them and I'd missed her again, missed another opportunity to talk to her. Alice brought back tons of pictures from the wedding and I stole more than a few of them. Bella looked so fucking gorgeous in her navy blue bridesmaid dress. She still looked skinny as hell, but better than the last time I'd seen her.

I was glad to see that she was finally starting to be happy again, which convinced me that I wasn't right for her after all. I needed to let her go.

.

.

.

I drank less and less as the months went on and my grades improved drastically. I tried to carry on with my life over the next few years, and slowly things seemed to get better. My client base was thriving to the point where I was booked for months in advance.

Eventually, I had enough clients and enough money saved up to open my own shop. Jasper was more than happy to go with me, refusing to become my partner. He swore things could get ugly with our friendship if money was involved. And since he'd let me stay with him for free when I'd needed it, I promised him he'd always have a job in my shop, with out charging him the space rent I'd be charging the other artists.

One month shy of graduating that December with a Master's degree in business, and six months short of my twenty-fifth birthday, my life seemed to be a string of endless days on loop. I had more money and success than I knew what to do with and still, I was completely fucking miserable.

.

.

.

I'd gone out with a few girls over the years, but none of them seemed to hold my interest for long. In January I started seeing a girl I'd met on Campus named Irina. She was tall, blonde and dumb as a box of rocks. Complete opposite of Bella. I always stuck to that formula it seemed. It was easier that way – no reminders of _her._

_._

_._

_._

By the end of February, I'd already lost interest in Irina. Every day I'd told myself I was going to break up with her and everyday I pussed out. I wasn't really sure if she would even care since Irina probably wouldn't notice if a meteor fell from the sky, much less if I wasn't in her bed in the morning. Still, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was a selfish bastard, and much as I wasn't that interested in her, I hated being alone lately. I was basically using Irina for a warm body, sex, whatever… and though I hated myself for it, I couldn't bring myself to stop.

Jasper had told me that Bella had been dating some guy for a couple years now and ever since I'd heard the news, I seemed to be unable to not mope about it unless I was with some chick myself. He refused to give me any other details and Alice only told me that everything would work out how it was supposed to.

"_Give it time…"_

"_It'll work out, man…"_

"_She'll come around…"_

I swear sometimes I wanted to choke the fuck out of both of them when they fed me that bullshit.

They knew I was still holding a candle for Bella, despite my saying otherwise.

.

.

.

During the second week of March, I decided to bite the bullet and break things off with Irina. It went surprisingly well, and she wasn't even mad – although, she insisted that I take her with me to the tattoo convention in Las Vegas that April. She said she wanted to get some ideas for a tattoo for herself, but I knew she just wanted a free trip to Vegas. Whatever, I didn't care.

I didn't care about much of _anything _anymore. Even tattooing was not enough to keep me from being a moody, moping bastard. Nothing helped anymore, not even Jack Daniels.

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**A/N: Another chapter coming in a few mins. Couldn't leave you hanging. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Eric Clapton own their songs. I don't own a thing.

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**A/N: This chapter is MUCH lighter. I promise. And a quick thank you to those who have reviewed, added and favorited this story. MWAH! **

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Chapter 13

_I saw my baby early one mornin'_

_She was walkin' on down the street_

_I saw my baby early one mornin'_

_She was walkin' on down the street_

_You know it hurt me, hurt me so bad, yeah_

_Made my poor heart, skip a beat_

_I've got a real, real bad feelin'_

_That my baby she don't love me no more_

_I've got a real, real bad feelin'_

_That my baby she don't love me no more_

_Well, the sky's been cryin, yeah_

_Can you see the tears roll down my nose_

_**The Sky is Cryin' - Stevie Ray Vaughan**_

"Ed, come on, man," Jasper said, elbowing my arm slightly. "Alice wants to go back to the hotel."

I lifted my head up from the bar and pulled out a few twenties to settle up my bill, leaving them next to my empty shot glasses. As I raised my pitiful ass up from my barstool, Jasper clapped a hand on my shoulder.

I let him lead me over to the rental car, opened the back door and shoved me inside where I flopped across the back seat. He'd already given me plenty of lectures in the past about not using alcohol to solve my problems, but did I ever listen? Nope.

At least he'd had the good sense not to start that bullshit right now. I'd run into Bella earlier in the day. Hence – the drunken stupor.

But let me rewind it for you a bit…

I'd just gotten up for the morning, ready to head over to the tattoo convention at the Mandalay Bay Hotel. The four of us – Jasper, Alice, Irina, and myself – were staying at the Bellagio and I'd left my room – which was separate from Irina's – to go get a cup of coffee when I ran smack into a tiny body.

The girl fell to the ground, brochures and papers scattering everywhere.

"Shit!" she cursed as her hand flew up, trying to move her long brown hair out of her face.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," I apologized and fixed my trucker hat as I bent down and started picking up the items off the ground. As a familiar, sweet smell entered my senses and my body began to hum with an old familiar feeling, and the hair on my arms stood on end.

_No fucking way…_

Her head snapped up to meet my stare, the beautiful brown eyes that had been haunting my dreams for so long, looking right back at me, surprised and unsure.

"Bella?"

I took in every inch of her that I could see as she sat back on her palms. She was dressed in a curve-hugging white skirt that went down to just above her knees and flared out at the bottom, a red strappy tank top and some brown sandal-type heels that made her legs impossibly long. Fuck, she looked even better than I'd remembered. The dark circles were gone from her eyes, her lips were plump and full of color again, and her cheeks were no longer sunken in.

Unbidden, my eyes drifted down to the slight amount of cleavage that peeked out of her top. Fuck, even her tits had gotten better if that was even possible.

"H-hi," she replied in a voice that seemed different than I'd remembered. Fuck, her voice alone was giving me problems in my pants. It was that husky, raspy, low voice of hers that always got me going before anything else did.

"Hi."

_Really, Cullen? Hi? That's the best you've got?_

I handed her the papers and remembered what I had been holding in my hands; brochures on wedding shit – flowers, limousine rentals, and wedding photographers. I glanced over to her left hand to see the tiniest little rock on a gold band sitting on her left ring finger. An engagement ring.

My heart damn near fucking stopped and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I don't know why I was so surprised. It's not like I could've really expected a girl like her to be single forever. But still…

Bella started getting up off the ground and I put my hands on her arms to help her up. Once she was all the way up, she stepped back from my hold and I dropped my arms to my sides. The long-sleeve, black flannel shirt I was wearing was only rolled half-way up my forearms so that only about three inches of tattoo-covered skin peeked out.

I watched as Bella's eyes took in those three inches of ink. Thankfully she couldn't see the full picture. Only the leg of the Pin-up Bella was showing.

"You look…different," she told me.

"You look… _really_ good, Bella. Holy shit." Her cheeks flamed and she looked away.

"What are you doing here in Vegas?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Tattoo Convention."

"Ah…" She smiled and nodded.

"You?"

Bella held up the wedding brochures in answer to the obvious.

"Stupid question," I laughed. "So…you're… getting married, huh?" I barely got the words out, feeling like my heart was about to explode.

"Yup." Maybe it was just my imagination, but she didn't sound very enthusiastic about her statement.

"Uh…when?"

_Why the fuck didn't Alice tell me about this? Mental note: Kill the little shit with my bare hands, apologize to J later._

Bella looked around nervously before answering. "Um…June nineteenth."

_One day before my fucking birthday. How fucking…cute. _

My jaw clenched and I swallowed, barely holding back my irritation. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Her brows furrowed and her eyes dropped to the ground. "Oh, uh…you wouldn't know him. He's from Phoenix."

"Oh, so you still live in Arizona?"

"No, I- _we_ live back in Washington now," she answered, not meeting my eyes.

I was already plotting revenge on Alice for not telling me that Bella lived in the same area as me. For all I knew, she probably lived right around the corner from me in Seattle. _Goddamn it._ I was going to take a pair of pliers and rip Alice's lip ring out and shave her head while she slept.

"What about you?" she asked as I tried to keep my eyes on her face and not on her body. "You still live in Seattle?"

"Yeah, I have my own tattoo shop there with Jasper. Alice didn't tell you?"

She lowered her head and laughed a nervous laugh. "Alice is still kind of pissed at me for...ah, it doesn't matter. Anyway, I haven't talked to her in a while." She looked up at me finally and my eyes locked with hers.

I was about to ask her why Alice was pissed at her when a guy came sauntering over from behind Bella. He was sort of tall and lean with icy blue eyes, and short, dirty blond hair. I could lie and tell you that the guy was ugly, but the truth was that he looked like a male model, straight off the cover of GQ Magazine or some shit and it pissed me off. I'd always pictured that if Bella ever hooked up with anyone else, he'd be some fat, ugly bald guy with acne problems.

Something else about this guy bothered me though. He seemed way too cocky and he just gave of this vibe that said, _"Hi, I'm a pompous dick. Punch me in the sack, I deserve it."_ He threw his arm around Bella's shoulders and pulled her into his side. She bit her lip as she avoided my eyes.

"Edward, this is James - my fiancé. James, this is Edward, one of my old friends from Forks."

_Old friends? OLD FRIENDS?_

"Hey Ed," he said, holding out his hand to me. I really, really had the urge to punch him in the throat, but I resisted somehow.

Instead, I shook his hand as a tall, red-headed woman walked up to where we all stood in front of a flowery pillar in the middle of the crowded lobby. The woman looked at each of us and then looked me up and down.

"Oh, and this is our wedding planner, Victoria."

_Victoria_, who was obviously not afraid to be caught ogling, gave me the once over and licked her lips before smiling and shaking my hand. It was apparent what she was thinking by the way she looked at me and I pulled my hand back as if it had been burned. But what was even weirder, was the look that James had given her when he saw how she was looking at me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was jealous.

"Miss Swan," Victoria said, looking back toward her. "Everything is all set up with the catering and the rooms have already been booked. All you have to do now is choose a dress, a limousine company and a photographer, mail out your invitations and get your bridesmaid's dress fittings done. I'll be in contact with you and James soon to see how that's going. Sound good?"

Bella nodded – looking overwhelmed – and Victoria gave her a quick hug before going to get one from James as well. She hugged James for just a bit too long, but Bella didn't notice because she was looking down at the stack of brochures in her hands, up at me, and back down to her brochures. Victoria turned and looked at me, touching my bicep and squeezing it.

"Nice meeting you," she said with a wink, looking like she wanted to lick my skin off. Normally I wouldn't mind that kind of attention from a woman, but this whole situation was already weirding me out.

"Yep, you too." I shoved my hands in the front pockets of my jeans.

Bella was watching me intently with her arms folded across her chest. A small smile played on her lips and I knew she could tell that I was disgusted by Victoria's obvious flirtation. Or maybe she was remembering how much I didn't like red-heads.

Suddenly, a familiar but unwelcomed, whiny voice was calling my name from behind me.

"Edward,_ there _you are. I've been looking for you all over this stupid hotel," Irina whined. "_Seriously_, how long does it take to get one stinking cup of coffee? I want to go over to the convention already." She was wearing one of the sluttiest outfits I'd ever seen in my life – her tits popping out of a tiny pink tube top and a skin-tight pair of jeans with super high black stilettos. She didn't normally dress _that_ extreme. Maybe she was shopping for a new boyfriend at the convention as well. I gladly welcomed it.

"I got distracted," I told her firmly as I looked to Bella who was glaring at Irina with her jaw tight and an eyebrow raised.

_Well, well. This could be good._

_What are you talking about? She's getting married, you asshole._

_Right. Fuck._

Irina looked at me with sheer irritation and turned to James with her hand held out. "I'm Irina," she told him.

"James. Pleasure to meet you, _Irina_," he cooed as he looked at her appraisingly. "Your girlfriend is lovely, Ed," he said without looking at me. He was too busy looking at Irina like she was something to eat.

_Okay, this guy is a total fucking sleazebag. And Bella's going to marry him? When the fuck did I step into the Twilight Zone?_

"We're not together," I corrected him. His eyebrows rose in surprise but he said nothing, while Bella gave me an unreadable look.

Irina looked at Bella and back towards me, obviously recognizing her face from the tattoo on my arm. _Oh fuck, I hope she doesn't say anything._

"And you are?" Irina asked Bella.

"Bella." They shook hands but didn't share any further words.

An awkward silence followed until James cleared his throat. "Isabella and I were going to do some shopping just now, but later on we'll be having dinner at this little French restaurant at the Mandalay. Would the two of you like to join us?"

Bella's head snapped over to him and then back to me. Clearly she didn't expect that.

"Sure, that sounds good," I replied quickly before she had a chance to squash his invitation. "You mean _Fleur_, right? That's the place?"

"Yes," he responded. "That's the name of it, _Fleur_. So we'll meet you there at say…six o'clock?"

"I thought we were going to eat at the steakhouse," Bella whispered shyly to him.

James rolled his eyes and huffed out an exasperated breath. "Isabella, I've told you a thousand times that you need to try new things besides _steak and potatoes_. Have some class, and enjoy the fine dining for once," he laughed rudely.

The old Bella would have told him to fuck off and die for an insulting comment like that. To my surprise, she just looked away, defeated and embarrassed.

"Steak sounds pretty fucking good to me, _Jimmy_," I cut in. "They have a gourmet steakhouse there too, you know. It's called _Stripsteak._" Bella kept looking away and bit her lip, trying to hide a smile.

"Ooh, steak sounds yummy," Irina added.

"Er…I guess it does," James quickly corrected his attitude. "We'll meet you at the _steakhouse,_ then."

We said quick, awkward goodbyes and I stalked out of the hotel lobby with Irina trailing behind me. Once we made it to the curb, we jumped into a cab and drove the short distance to the Mandalay. Irina didn't say anything to me in the cab which was just as well. I was already seething about the fuckhead James.

Once inside the Tattoo Convention, Irina took off in one direction while I texted Jasper, asking where he was at. Our shop had a booth set up there last year, but this year we were just there to browse for new equipment to buy and shit like that.

I made my way over to the area where Jasper and Alice were standing - holding hands -and tapped on Alice's shoulder. Her dyed, red and black hair whipped around and her black-lined, blue eyes widened when she looked up and saw the murderous expression on my face.

"You're _so_ dead," I growled down at her. "Why didn't you tell me Bella was getting married?"

Her pierced, red-stained lips pursed and her perfectly sculpted brows furrowed. "She made me promise not to say anything to you," she squeaked.

I looked up to Jasper, who now pulled her behind him protectively. "And you," I accused, "my fucking _supposed_ best friend, what's your fucking excuse, J? You couldn't have mentioned this to me at all? Or did you promise Bella too?"

Jasper put his palms up in defense and ran a hand over his black, slicked-back, short ponytail. "Calm down, man. I just found out a couple days ago myself. Bella's been keeping it from everybody because nobody likes the asshole, not even her family."

I sighed and tried desperately to calm down, telling them how Irina and I were invited to dinner with Bella and James, and begging the two of them to go with us. Alice flat out refused. She didn't want to have anything to do with James, but wouldn't say why. Jasper said he would keep his phone on him in case I needed back-up.

The three of us walked around the convention while Irina was still off doing whatever. Hours later, the four of us jumped in the rental car and went back to the hotel to change and rest. My head was fucking pounding so I took some Aspirin and tried to take a nap. Before I knew it, Irina was banging on my hotel room door telling me we needed to leave for dinner in a half hour. I told her to calm the fuck down and wait for me in the lobby so I could jump in the shower.

Once I was showered and dressed in a dark-green button-up dress shirt and some black slacks, I threw some gunk in my messy hair and brushed my teeth. I was excited to see Bella again, even if the situation seemed completely awkward and fucked up.

Irina and I took the rental car over to the Mandalay and parked in the valet. We made our way through the hotel and I rolled my eyes at slutty outfit number two. Irina was wearing the shortest black skirt known to man and a tiny white blouse that showed off her cleavage in the wonder-bra she was wearing. Her long blond hair was teased up to the point of ridiculous, and she caked on her eye make-up extra thick for some reason. I shook my head and laughed silently while we approached the entrance to _Stripsteak_.

Bella and James were standing at the entrance having some sort of heated discussion but they quickly stopped when he saw us approaching. Surprisingly, Bella didn't even look at Irina because she was too busy looking me over. Her jaw dropped ever-so-slightly and her eyes widened momentarily before she corrected herself and turned her head. Then she got a look at Irina who was greeting James with an overly friendly hug. Bella raised an eyebrow in irritation and I took the opportunity to pull her into a hug without warning.

Fuck, she smelled good.

And she felt so good in my arms. She was tense at first, probably shocked by my forwardness, but she relaxed after a second and gave my torso a squeeze as if she didn't really want to let go. I could've sworn I even heard her sigh.

"You look great," I murmured into her hear. She really did. She was wearing a dark, jade-green strapless dress and a pair of platform black heels. It was very similar to the dress she'd worn on her birthday – the same dress in my tattoo. Similar, but not quite the same. Bella had more curve to her hips now and her chest seemed fuller. The years in Arizona had agreed with her body, and she had the cutest new freckles on her nose that weren't there before.

She pulled back and looked up at me with a smile. "You too," she replied before clearing her throat. She stepped out of my grasp and over to James, who was still eye-fucking Irina. He didn't even acknowledge my presence as he went to lead Bella inside. The inside of the place was very posh for a steakhouse, stone and glass walls surrounded the dark wood tables. We were seated at a quiet table near a wall where a blue light reflected off of it. We each took a seat in the red velour rounded bench seats, Irina and I on one side and Bella and James on the other. I sat nearest to Bella, while James was nearer to Irina.

Bella was quiet for most of the night, eating her appetizer salad without a word. James was busy chatting up Irina, telling her about how much money he earned as a lawyer for the state of Washington, blah, blah…

"So, you're a lawyer, right?" I asked.

"Criminal defense attorney," he corrected. "And what is it _you_ do, Eddie?"

"It's Edward," I corrected. _Fucker._ "And I own my own Tattoo shop in Seattle." Bella glanced down at the couple inches of ink peeking out from my rolled up shirt sleeves. I could tell she was curious as to what else was hiding under the shirt – all that was showing was the legs – but I didn't think now was the best time to bust it out.

"You should see his drawings," Bella told James. "They're amazing. I've never seen anyone who could draw as well as him."

My ears heated up and I rubbed the back of my neck nervously as she smiled at me.

"Tattoo's? There can't be much money in _that,_" James remarked snidely.

_Stupid dick._

Now, I could've thrown it in his face that I make over a hundred dollars an hour, and bring home at least two grand a day in _my_ tattoos alone, not to mention the money I got from charging the other eight tattoo artists booth rent, but I'm just not one to brag.

"It's decent," I answered. Bella looked at James with narrowed eyes and he shrugged his shoulders at her and rolled his eyes. At first I wondered if she'd told him about our previous relationship, but then I remembered that she'd introduced me as an old friend.

"Sorry," Bella whispered to me before taking a huge gulp of her wine. It was weird seeing her drink wine since she always used to drink beer straight from the bottle when we went to parties in High School.

"It's alright," I laughed, patting her knee under the table. Her breath hitched and her eyes darted to mine. I gave her a smirk and continued eating my salad. More awkward silence stretched out between us as we finished our salads. I wanted to ask her a billion questions about what her life was like since we'd parted, but it seemed clear that she was not ready to fully talk to me.

I hated her reluctance.

James and Irina didn't even look at us as the steaks came to our table. They were too engrossed in their own conversation about one of his cases. I watched as Bella cut into her steak and took a bite, moaning and rolling her eyes back at the taste. Memories flooded through me of having her under me, sweating and flushed. _Fuck_, she was trying to kill me and my dick.

"It's just steak, Isabella," James scolded her with a laugh. "God, you would think you were eating caviar or something."

_Fucking asshole. Why does she put up with that shit?_

Bella looked down at her plate and blushed before gulping down the rest of her wine.

"Or strawberry shortcake," Irina added dumbly. _Strawberry shortcake? Fuck, shut up, Irina..._

Bella's head snapped up. "Oh no, James would never eat that, Ariana, he's _deathly _allergic to strawberries," Bella remarked and I stifled a laugh, wondering if she'd purposely fucked up Irina's name.

Irina narrowed her eyes at Bella. "It's _Irina_, not Ariana."

"Oops. Sorry," Bella said in what seemed like a fake apology. I could tell Irina was about to say something bitchy right back. _Ah shit. This could get ugly_. I took a long pull from my Heineken.

"You're allergic to _strawberries_?" I asked James. _Yeah, tell me what else you're allergic to so I can ask the waiter to spike your food with it, you fuck. _"That sucks, man. I fucking _love_ strawberries."

"So do I," Bella added. "But I can't even have them in the apartment without James getting all itchy."

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Alice.

**Hey, we're going to a country western bar on Flamingo Drive called the Rusty Spoke. J wants to visit his Texas roots in Vegas…LOL… Don't ask. Can you see if Bella will come? **

I showed the text to Bella and she laughed and considered it quietly before leaning over to James to ask him.

"Hmm, you go ahead," he told her. "I have some work to do back at the hotel," he said. Bella rolled her eyes and mumbled something about "always working".

For some reason, I asked Irina if she wanted to go. "Ew, no. I hate that stupid country music, she answered. "I think I'll just take a cab back to the hotel."

"I'll take you back, Irina," James offered. Suddenly all of our eyes were on him.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose," she said, clearly not really meaning it.

Bella's mouth popped open like she was about to say something to James, but she quickly let it go and looked down at her plate before looking at Irina like she wanted to stab her in the eye with her fork.

"Yeah, you take Irina with you," I told James. "And I'll take Bella with me. I'll bring her back later, if that's okay with you, Bella?"

Bella looked to James before she nodded weakly and we finished our meal, skipping dessert. It was so weird to see Bella so reserved and quiet. I took the bill before James could get it, and paid it with my card without even looking at the amount. It didn't matter anyway - I had plenty of money despite what James may have thought. Irina left with James and he didn't even give Bella a kiss goodbye. Not that I wanted to see that shit, but still, if she were mine... well, let's not even go there.

I led Bella out of the restaurant with my arm around her protectively. What can I say? Old habits die hard. Every guy we passed by was gawking at Bella and undressing her with their eyes which made me pull her closer into me. She seemed okay with it and I tried my best not to stare down at her as well. I may have peeked at her cleavage though. Six or seven times.

We made it down to the valet and jumped into the rental car before speeding over to the bar that Alice told me they were at. Once inside we immediately spotted Alice and Jasper sitting at a booth off to the side. Jasper was the only guy I knew who could make cowboy boots and tattoos look cool. He had on a pair of dark jeans, a white t-shirt that showed off both of his tattoo-sleeved arms, and the brown cowboy hat he sometimes wore. Alice – clad in her usual black- walked up to Bella and timidly held her arms open for a hug. Bella pulled her close and they hugged it out. I hoped whatever beef they had going on could finally be squashed.

Alice dragged Bella over to their booth and handed her a brown bottle of Budweiser and a shot of something. Bella took down the shot with a wince and started drinking the beer as we all settled into the booth. I knew that Bella didn't really care for country music either and neither did I, but we were there to have some fun, or die trying.

We talked – well, Alice mostly talked and showed Bella her newest tattoo on her breastbone– and laughed for a couple hours until a song came on that made Jasper jump out of his seat. It was a fast guitar and piano song.

"Bella, you have to dance with me," Jasper begged her. "For old times sake."

Bella rolled her eyes and nodded, smiling as she took a pull from her beer bottle and set it down. She chucked off her black heels and quickly slipped on Alice's long black boots and grasped Jasper's waiting hand as he led her down to the dance floor, practically running. Jasper pressed his cowboy hat down on his head and they started moving in quick steps, moving along the floor as if they'd been dance partners for life. They blended into the small crowd with ease.

_Kick off your shoes, start losin' the blues_

_This old house ain't got nothin' to lose_

_Seen it all for years, start spreadin the news_

_We got room on the floor_

_Come on baby, shake sumpin' loose_

_Well, the house is rockin', don't bother knockin'_

_Yeah, the house is rockin', don't bother knockin'_

_Yeah, the house is rockin', don't bother, come on in._

Jasper moved Bella around and spun her a few times while she kept up easily with him and Alice started screaming and cheering for them.

"What the hell are they doing?" I asked.

"It's called the two-step, but J taught Bella his '_Texas Tornado Two-step'_," Alice laughed, using her fingers to do air quotes.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Uh…what's the difference?"

Alice smiled and pointed toward where Jasper and Bella were on the dance floor. "Watch and you'll see," she explained. "Bella's the only one who can keep up with him. I always trip," she laughed.

Bella nodded to whatever Jasper had asked her and suddenly he started spinning her while they switched arms over and over again – winding and unwinding each other while they moved quickly on the floor. It looked like a human version of the teacups ride at Disneyland. Jesus, no wonder Alice tripped.

I couldn't help the huge smile on my face as my jaw dropped. People were getting out of their way and clapping along with the song, enjoying the show. By the time he stopped spinning her, they were both cracking up and smiling.

_Walkin' up the street, you can hear the sound_

_Of some bad honkey-tonkers really layin' it down_

_They've seen it all for years, and got nothin' to lose,_

_So get out on the floor, shimmy 'til you shake sumpin' loose._

_Well, the house is rockin', don't bother knockin'_

_Well, the house is rockin', don't bother knockin'_

_Yeah, the house is rockin', don't bother, come on in_

_I said the house is rockin', don't bother, come on in._

Bella was grinning from ear to ear as Jasper threw her into a dramatic dip at the end of the song and the crowd of people around them cheered and clapped, whistling and hollering. By the time they made it back to the booth, Bella's cheeks were flushed red as an apple and Jasper was hamming it up as always, bowing to the crowd that had gathered.

"Damn, that was fun," Jasper laughed as Bella plopped down next to me. She pulled off the boots and handed them back to Alice, then put her black heels back on.

Another fast song came on. Some twangy shit about chattahoohchee. Whatever the fuck that was.

"My turn?" I asked Bella as I held out my hand. She looked at me like I was crazy, took another shot off the table and stood back up, taking my hand. She pulled me out of the booth and I followed her to the dance floor.

"Do you even know how to do this?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

"No, but you can teach me," I smiled.

She tried her best to show me the steps but I just couldn't get the rhythm down. I was definitely _not_ a two-stepper. The Salsa classes Bella had subjected me to when we were dating were not even half as hard as this fucking dance. Still, we laughed every time I screwed up and it was worth my humiliation just to see her laugh.

The song soon switched to a slow melody and Bella dropped her arms and started to walk back to the table.

"Wait, wait, wait, lil' cowpoke," I joked, leaning forward to grab her arm and holding her in place. "This is the _one_ kind of dance I'm decent at. You have to give me just this one," I smiled. Bella rolled her eyes and groaned with a smile, but came back to stand in front of me.

I pulled her into me and put her arms around my neck like old times. She moved back a bit and lowered her hands to my upper arms, creating some space. Then she stared up at me and I had to fight the urge to kiss her. I thought for sure she would look away since I was blatantly staring at her, but she didn't. Maybe it was the alcohol in her system, or maybe she was still feeling something for me, but while the music continued, we just swayed and gazed at each other.

_And then she asks me 'Do you feel alright?'_

_And I say 'Yes, I feel wonderful tonight'_

_I feel wonderful, because I see the love hiding in your eyes_

_And the wonder of it all_

_Is that you just don't realize, how much I love you._

I lowered my head and murmured in her ear, "Tell me why you're marrying that guy."

She stiffened in my grasp and looked away. "I can't believe you're pulling this shit now," she said.

"Just tell me what it is about him that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with him."

"Well, for one thing, _he's_ never cheated on me," she spat, glaring at me as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Bella, I need to talk to you about that."

She dropped her arms and took a step back. "I can't do this right now," she said, shaking her head. "I have to go." And she started to leave.

"Wait," I pleaded as I grabbed her arm. "Just let me explain. I promise it's not-"

"_NO_," she growled. "It doesn't matter anymore. Don't you get it? I've moved on. I'm getting married in two months, end of story."

"Bella, just listen," I begged.

"You had your chance," she said with finality. "You had plenty of fucking chances to be with me, and you blew them all. So just stop now, okay? Just let me go."

After a minute of heated silence, I gave in. "I'll take you back to the hotel."

"No. I'll get a cab. Now, let go."

I released her arm and she stalked away. I stood there staring at the empty space in front of me, feeling my already bruised heart splinter once again. When I turned around, I only saw Jasper and Alice watching Bella walk away toward the entrance to the bar. I threw my head up toward the ceiling in a silent prayer for someone up there to help me the fuck out. Then I trudged over to the bar and began telling my troubles to Jack Daniels.

She was right. I'd had plenty of chances, and I fucking blew them all to hell. It was time to let her go. I just didn't feel like I ever really could.

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**A/N: _Edward! How could you just let her go? AGAIN? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER?_ Lol. C'mon. You're all thinking it. ;) And yeah...the fiancé dickwad is James. *cringes* Just trust me? Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. The lyrics aren't mine either. Boooooo.

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A/N: Hello again! One more chapter tonight. And I'd just like to point out that Bella is still hurt and angry at Edward for what he did (but actually didn't do), not to mention all the other bad crap that's happened to her over the years. To answer some Q's - yes, Edward is a dumbass. I think we've established that. Hope you'll be patient with them both. Yes, they will finally have "The talk" and yes, I am going to make you wait for it. Lol. I haven't had a chance to do review replies today, but plan on doing it tomorrow. :)

**Also, HUGE THANKS to CourtneyAndy86! Courtney, you are the Mac to my cheese, woman! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your friendship and support! Big squishy hugs to you! MWAH! :D**

___Mère _is French for _Mother_. Or so Google tells me. I like to give my translations before the chapter instead of after. K, shutting up now...

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Chapter 14

"Mmm, it's always better when we're together  
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together  
Well, it's always better when we're together  
Yeah, it's always better when we're together"

_**Better Together – Jack Johnson**_

A whole fucking week had gone by since I'd seen Bella in Vegas and all week I had a headache and was in a pissy-ass mood.

"What crawled up your ass," my shop's apprentice – Seth – had asked me that Monday when I told him a moment before to stop asking me so many goddamn questions.

"Your mom," I grumbled as I handed him my sketch to copy over to transfer paper. Actually, I _shoved_ the paper into his chest.

"If you say shit about my mom again, I'll slit your throat."

I smirked at him and he laughed. Seth was a scrawny little eighteen-year-old that I found begging for change in front of the shop the year before. It turned out he had a talent for sketching and did whatever I asked him, so I hired him. Plus, he was a lot like me and we got along well because of it. He knew I was just blowing off steam and that I wouldn't push the mom jokes any further.

Jasper tried to de-stress me by taking me to the gym and shooting hoops out in the back alley every time I wasn't busy with a client. Work was work and it kept me busy, but none of it kept my thoughts off Bella. Every time I closed my eyes, the new images of her were burned there.

On Friday, Sam – one of my artists – begged me to pick up some order of cupcakes for him in Port Angeles.

"Tell me why the fuck I have to drive two hours for some fucking cupcakes?" I asked him as he diligently worked on the outline of a Buddha on a client's bicep. "Is there no bakery in all of fucking Seattle that can make decent cupcakes?"

He pulled the gun away from the client's skin and turned to look at me with puppy dog eyes. The guy was six-foot-five, built like a boxer, and looked like he was about to cry like a baby. I swear Emily had him so whipped.

"Come on, bro. It's Emily's birthday tomorrow and she really wants those cupcakes! I have another client right after this and if I don't get them today, I can't surprise her in the morning, and there's no way I can get down there tomorrow."

"I have other shit to do today, Sam…"

"Pleeeeeeeeease?" he begged, holding his latex-gloved hands together in the prayer position while his dark eyes squinted. "Pleeeeeeeease?"

"They're just cupcakes!"

He shook his head. "Dude, no. Those are not just any cupcakes. Remember the Chocolate Kahlua cupcakes your mom brought in for your birthday last year?"

Fuck, yeah I remembered. That shit was unreal. They were so moist and gooey and…sweet but not too sweet. They were perfect.

Sam was a good guy and a model employee. His wife had already been giving him grief for forgetting their anniversary, so I finally caved.

"Fine," I sighed, scrubbing a hand over my stubbly face. "I have to go make a deposit at the bank, but text me the address and I'll go after that."

"Yesssss!" He fist-pumped. "Thank you, thank you, _thank you_. I owe you big time, bro. Whatever you want, it's yours, just name it. Oh, and they close at five so you gotta get there before then."

I looked at my watch to see that it was just after one in the afternoon. "Whatever," I huffed and stalked away to my office in the back. _Fucking cupcakes_. _Jesus._

The text came through my phone a little while later as I stood in line at the bank.

**655 North Port Way.**

When I was coming out of the bank, this young girl in a track suit slammed into me and spilled her coffee all over my plain white tee. _Fuck! What is it with women running into me?_ She apologized and offered to pay for my shirt but I irritably waved her off and drove home to my apartment to change.

A couple minutes later I was showered and dressed in a clean black tee with _The Ramones _across the chest, dark jeans and my usual black Converse. I jumped in my Audi and punched the address into my GPS. I already knew how to get to Port Angeles, but I didn't know exactly where this cake shop was.

I arrived at _Mère_ at exactly 5:04, cursing at the traffic that had held me up along the way. The sign in the window of the shop still said OPEN, so I cut the engine and jumped out. The door to the little shop was still unlocked and I breathed out a sigh of relief. As I pulled the door open, a bell jingled, notifying the shop owner of my presence.

"Sorry, we're closed!" a friendly voice called from the back.

"You're open sign is still up…" I yelled back.

I heard the girl groan in frustration and something metal clanked loudly in the back of the shop. "Be there in a minute," she answered.

I took the time to look around the shop. The walls were painted a muted plum color and the there were numerous black frames along the walls with different black and white photos of cupcakes inside them. The music that played overhead was a bubbly ukulele song. I moved over to get a closer look at some of the photos when a tiny voice startled me.

"Hello, sir!"

I turned to see a little girl – about three or four years old maybe– leaning across the high glass counter with a white baker's hat on top of her long brown hair that was braided down one side. She had the biggest brown doe eyes, freckles across her nose, and flour all over her face. She looked so familiar…like a mini…Bella.

_Nah._

I shook off the thought and moved closer to the glass counter.

"Hi," I told the little girl, smiling. "I'm here to pick up an order for Sam Uley." I folded my arms across the top of the counter. "Um…is your mommy back there?" I pointed to the back room.

The little girl looked down at my left arm, ignoring my question. Suddenly her chubby little face lit up with excitement and she smiled so hard, her dimples showed in her cheeks. "Ooh, purdy pictures. Can I see?"

I straightened my arm so she could get a good look. It was always funny to see kid's reactions to tattoos, but this little girl was like nothing I'd ever seen before. She quietly and carefully inspected my arm, turning it this way and that as her fingers traced over all the different shapes and her brows furrowed with concentration. When she got to _pin-up Bella,_ she gasped and looked up at me before breaking into a huge grin that I recognized.

She had Bella's smile and she recognized Bella's face.

My heart plummeted_. Shit. Please, no… Tell me she doesn't have a kid with that fucking ass-faced bastard._ It wasn't that I didn't like kids; I just couldn't stand the thought of Bella having them with _that_ jackass.

"Lily!" a voice yelled, coming closer to us. "I told you to stay in the back with me! You're not supposed to talk to strangers and-"

I looked up to see none other than a flustered Bella, standing a few feet behind the little girl in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a fitted, white blouse that ruffled at one shoulder and hugged her all the way to her hips. Her hair was straightened and stopped a couple inches below her boobs. Fuck, now I was staring at her tits. Her delicious, perky little…

She was glaring at me, obviously still not ready to have a civilized conversation with me. Or maybe she caught what I was staring at.

The little girl turned around to look at Bella. "Auntie Bella, look! He has a purdy picture of you on his arm!" My mind quickly worked out the relation.

_Oh, thank the sweet baby Jesus... She's Emmett's kid. I should've guessed by the dimples._

I breathed a sigh of relief and stood there - stunned and unable to move - as Bella slowly walked forward and replaced the little girl's hands with her own. Her hard gaze softened as she stared at the picture of herself before continuing to see the rest of the art. Everything was laid out before her – well, everything but the flamed heart on my shoulder. She slowly examined all the tattoos I'd gotten to remind me of her, just like the little girl had. She paused when she got to the lady's head and shoulders profile with her horoscope sign.

"When did you get these?" Bella whispered, her expression now unreadable.

"I started on the first day I moved to Seattle."

"Why?"

"Because…I didn't want to lose you."

Her eyes stayed glued to my arm, along with her hands, and the little girl chimed in, "You got lost, Auntie Bella?"

Bella let go of my arm and shook her head. "No, Lily. It's grown-up stuff. Come on. Go get your stuff ready so I can take you back home." The little mini-Bella jumped off the chair she was standing on, and scampered into the back.

"What are you doing down here in Port Angeles?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Oh uh…I came to pick up an order for Sam. The birthday cupcakes for Emily…"

Bella nodded quietly and went to the back to get the order. When she came back with the large white box, I was eyeballing and probably drooling over the _strawberry-cheesecake-chocolate _cupcakes in the display case. They had tons of fluffy chocolate frosting and a huge strawberry sticking out of the tops.

"You want one?" she asked, noticing my stare. I hoped I wasn't drooling.

I smiled. "They look pretty good. And since they're already made, you won't have time to poison it," I joked, just as Emmett's kid came running back into the front.

Bella laughed and pulled one out, handing it over to me with a black napkin. At first I took a small bite, but it was so good that I just ended up shoving half of it in my mouth. Fuck, she could bake. I knew I had chocolate all over my mouth but I didn't care. Mini-Bella was giggling hysterically and Bella was laughing a little too.

"That's how my daddy eatses his cuppy-cakes too," Mini-Bella told me and I laughed. I could just imagine that Em could probably fit a whole cupcake in his mouth without even flinching.

"How _is_ your brother?" I asked Bella.

She shrugged. "He's good. He and Rose got married a while back and he just finished the police academy."

"Wow. Good for him. And he has a kid, huh?" She held up two fingers. "No way."

"Way. Riley is their little boy. That's why I take Lily with me to work sometimes. It gives Rose a somewhat of a break while she takes care of Riley all day."

"That's nice that the owner lets you bring kids in."

Bella just laughed. "I _am_ the owner."

"Oh. Cool." I don't know why, but somehow I never pictured Bella as a baker or a shop owner. I thought for sure she'd be a book publisher or a teacher when she graduated. Something more like that. But if a cake shop was what made her happy, then I was happy for her.

Mini-B tapped on my hand that rested on the display case. "Can you come with us to my house?"

I looked at Bella. "You mind if I stop by and say hi to Rose and Em?" I managed to ask through the cake still in my cheeks.

She hesitated, thinking about it before finally answering. "Uh…sure. You can ride with us if you want." She didn't exactly look happy about it, and for a second there, I thought about telling her to forget it, and going home. I'm glad I didn't.

I nodded, shoved the rest of the cupcake into my mouth and grabbed Sam's order off the counter. Mini-B came around the display case and took my hand, leading me to the back as Bella flipped the OPEN sign to CLOSED and locked the front door. We left through the back entrance and walked over to a big black Mercedes Benz. I gave a nice wolf whistle as Bella hit the alarm button to unlock the doors.

"Shut up, Edward," she scolded with a laugh and an eye-roll, pulling the box of cupcakes out of my hands and putting them on the seat behind hers. "I hate this damn car, but James bought it for me and I didn't want to be rude."

"What happened to the 4-Runner?" I asked as I buckled Mini-Bella into her car seat in the back. Little mini-Bella beamed up at me and bit her bottom lip, kicking her little feet with excitement. Jesus, the kid was too cute. I squeezed her little toes through her purple Chucks and she giggled and hid her face. At least one person was happy I was there.

When I climbed into the passenger side, Bella smiled back at Mini-Bella and then jumped into the driver's seat. "Um…I sort of totaled the 4-Runner. Long story." She pushed the button to start the engine as I buckled myself into my seat.

"Hey Edwud, guess what! I'm four!" Mini-B yelled from the back seat, tapping me on the head with something hard. "Ooh, Auntie Bella, can we do the seday-day song?"

Bella groaned. "No, Lily. Another day, okay? I don't think Edward wants to hear that."

"_Seday-day?"_ I asked, not understanding.

"She still has trouble saying some words," Bella explained.

"Pleeeeeeease, Auntie Bella, Pleeeeeeeease?"

"Jeez…" Bella grumbled in a whisper before giggling. "She makes me do this almost every time I have her in the car with me. I probably never should've started it. "

I chuckled as Bella switched on the radio and flicked through her iPod. She pressed the button and a guitar beat started up. It was The Ramones – '_I Wanna Be Sedated'_. Bella put the car in reverse and backed out of her parking spot, trying not to laugh. Once she put the car in drive, they both started singing along to the song while Mini-Bella rocked out in the back seat.

_Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours to go…_

_I wanna be sedated._

_Nothin to do, nowhere to go_

_I wanna be sedated_

_Just put me in a wheelchair_

_Get me on a plane_

_Hurry, hurry, hurry_

_Before I go insane_

_I can't control my fingers_

_I can't control my brain_

_Oh noooooo, oh oh…_

It was all I could do not to laugh hysterically. Bella smiled as she sang along – her cheeks red with embarrassment - and narrowed her eyes at me playfully, before reaching over to smack me on the chest. Then she started singing louder as she drove through the streets of downtown Port Angeles. Eventually, the two of them were practically screaming the lyrics.

After that song, we sang along to _'Blitzkreig Bop'_ and _'Beat on the Brat'_. Every time Joey Ramone would say "Beat on the brat with a baseball bat" Mini-Bella would tap me on the head with her silver, star wand. My Bella in the driver's seat was belly-laughing at that. By the time we were almost finished with that song, we pulled into the driveway of a modest, craftsman-style house in a nice housing tract.

Bella parked the car, cut the engine and jumped out. Mini-B was out the door before I could even open mine, and she raced up the driveway and into the house. Rose came out of the front door toting a blond-haired baby in a Seattle Mariners jersey on her hip, her blue eyes widening when she side me in the front seat. As soon as the little guy in her arms saw Bella, he started squirming away from Rosalie and holding his hands out to Bella.

I got out and closed the car door, just as Bella ran over to Rosalie and took the baby from her while receiving a hug from Rosalie at the same time. Mini-Bella ran past us and into the house, still singing.

"He's been asking for _Bb_ all day," Rosalie told her. Then she turned to see me walking up the driveway and smiled. "Edward! Hey Stranger! What areyou doing in Port Angeles?"

Grinning, I waved in response and walked closer to the girls. Bella was whispering something to the little guy while he cooed and played with a handful of her hair.

"Um, I was in the area." I continued to watch Bella make faces at the little guy, sticking out her bottom lip and making him laugh in little grunts. I chuckled every time he laughed and then suddenly realized that Rosalie was gaping at me with her mouth open. "What?" I asked her.

Rosalie closed her mouth and shook off whatever she was thinking. "Uh…nothing. Nevermind," she mumbled, stifling a laugh. The little guy let out a big yawn and laid his head down on Bella's shoulder. "Oh, Bell, it's actually his nap time," Rosalie informed her.

"You mind if I do it?" Bella begged her.

"Sure, go ahead."

Bella looked to me. "Emmett should be home in a few."

I nodded and she turned to go into the house, while Rosalie and I stood in the driveway. Mini-Bella ran back out the door and skidded to a stop at my side. She grabbed my hand and started tugging me toward the house.

"Come on, come on, I wanna show ya my woom!" she beamed. I looked over to Rosalie who was trying hard not to laugh. Mini-Bella led me inside and upstairs to her room. It was a bright room with a bunk-bed shaped like a castle. The walls were painted in a landscape that went from floor to ceiling on each wall. The bottom half of each wall was painted like the grey castle walls, and on the top half, the sun was setting on one side as the sky faded from pink to purple to blue. On the ceiling there were clouds and stars peeking out to show a twilight sky.

"Like my castle?" Mini-Bella asked in her tiny little voice. "My Auntie Bella painted my woom for me. She said it's purdy like _me_," she smiled. I squatted down to sit on the floor and Mini-Bella climbed into my lap.

"I love it, Mini-B."

She giggled. "What'sa Mini-B?"

I smiled at her. "Well, I think you look just like a teeny, tiny little mini version of your Auntie Bella, so I think I'll call you Mini-B. That cool with you, or should I call you _Lily_?"

She threw her chubby little arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "You can call me Mini-B. Can I mawwy you? You soooooo purdy."

Laughter from behind us caused us both to whip our heads around to see Emmett and Rosalie standing in the doorway, her face buried in his muscled chest, shaking with laughter.

"Daddy!"

"Uh, Lil," Emmett started. "Daddy's not letting you get married 'til you're thirty, and by then Uncle Eddie will be all wrinkly and old."

Mini-Bella scrunched up her little nose and looked at me in horror. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Ewwwww…Sorry, Unca Eddie, I'm not a Coo-gah."

It was my time to laugh this time. Mini-Bella patted my shoulder and jumped out of my lap to go run to Emmett. He waved at me and scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder while she squealed in delight, asking for Cheerios as he carried her back downstairs. Rosalie stood in the doorway still, smirking at me and shaking her head.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" I asked nervously. I hoped I hadn't said something to Lily that I wasn't supposed to.

"You're still in love with her, aren't you," she accused.

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb."

"How do you even-"

She laughed. "It's written all over your face!"

I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Does it even matter? She's getting married, and besides that, she doesn't feel like that for me anymore."

Rosalie shook her head. "I don't think that's true…" she sang with a smile.

"What are you talking about? Did she say something?"

She nodded and checked over her shoulder to see if anyone was behind her. "She hasn't stopped talking about you since she came back from Vegas," she whispered. My heart stuttered at the thought. "And I haven't seen her look so alive in years."

I grinned widely. "Really?"

She nodded again. "And I can tell you right now she's not in love with James. The guy is completely wrong for her. Everyone knows it. She knows it too, but she's too stubborn to end it."

"Why the hell is she marrying him then if she's not in love with him?"

Rosalie checked behind her again and then came into her daughter's room all the way, softly closing the door behind her. She walked across the room and sat in a little white wood chair by a little pink desk covered with coloring books and crayons. I leaned up against the castle bunk-bed and folded my arms across my chest while Rosalie started to explain.

"She met James back in High School when she used to visit her Aunt Charlotte in Phoenix for the summers and James was their neighbor. Remember when she used to go there over the summers?" I nodded. "He's like three years older than Bella. Or was it four? Anyway, he never really approached her until she moved there to Phoenix after Renee died. But then she moved to Vegas a few months later and then Alec screwed her over…"

I clenched my eyes shut and my jaw flexed. _Fuck, if I'd have just chased her down, she wouldn't have started dating him._

"Calm down, Edward," she laughed. "Let me finish."

I nodded and looked down at the wooden floor below me, breathing slowly through my nose as Rosalie continued.

"Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway, she started dating this guy named Alec that she met when she moved to Las Vegas the year after Renee died and that guy cheated on her big time. Like, right in front of her face, with Bella's roommate. She was completely crushed and she quit school and moved back to Phoenix. That's when James pounced on her. He started pretending like he was so worried about her, when really he was just swooping in like a vulture on a wounded animal."

I had a hard time keeping up with all the details she'd just given me and so basically all I heard was Bella-James-Alec-screwed her over-James.

"How do _you_ know all of this?" I asked. Bella always hated Rosalie and vice versa.

"I've been close with Bella ever since the funeral," she continued to explain. "She's like a little sister to me, and I just wanted to keep an eye on her, you know? Anyway, Alice is the one who told me about what happened with that Alec guy, but I've seen James's obsession with Bella, firsthand."

"You talk to Alice?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes! God, don't interrupt! Anyway, it was like a game to him to chase after her, and then once he finally got her, he's done nothing but ignore her and, well…"

"Well, what?"

"It's just a matter of time before she finds out."

"Finds out what? And since when have you been friends with Alice?" My mind was spinning. How much more was there that I didn't know? This was why I didn't like talking to girls.

She rolled her eyes. Again. "I think it's pretty obvious that the guy's a man-whore, Edward, I mean, just look at him," she whispered even though the door was closed. "He was even hitting on _me_ when they first started dating and she brought him home with her to visit Charlie. James didn't know that I was Bella's sister-in-law at the time. And then there's the whole thing with Alice…don't even ask me to tell you about that. You'll have to ask Alice."

I felt physically ill, seriously. I knew there was something about him that set me off. I was always pretty good at reading people and James irritated me like no fucking other, and not just because he was with Bella. I planned on talking to Alice as soon as I fucking got back to Seattle. If it was anything really bad…well, let's just say that James would be going down the isle with a few less teeth and in a wheelchair.

"Have you guys told Bella any of this?"

Rosalie sighed. "Alice tried to talk to her about it but they ended up getting into a huge fight and…it was just a huge mess, so Alice decided to let it go. She said that Bella didn't want to believe her and that she would find out eventually."

I groaned. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now, Rose? I mean, yeah I still have feelings for her, but she made it pretty clear that she's moved on. She told me to let her go."

She looked at like I was a moron. "You fight for her, Edward. That's what you do. Stop running, and stop being a little bitch and fight for her."

"You don't think it's wrong to go after an engaged woman?"

Rosalie flicked her long blond hair over her shoulder and folded her arms across her chest. "Pfft. No, I don't. Not when it comes to that douchebag James. He doesn't deserve her anyway, the stupid fuck-stick. So what's it gonna be? Are you a man or a pussy?"

My eyes narrowed at her but as much as I didn't want to admit it, she was right. I needed to stop being a pussy and just go after Bella. I had to man up and show her how much I still cared about her and how much I wanted her to be with me. I also needed to tell her that I had lied to her all those years ago and tell her what an asshole I was for doing that to her.

I looked up and gave a knowing look to Rosalie who was beaming with excitement. "Yes! I feel like singing the theme song to Rocky right now!" she joked as she stood up and shoved me out of the room and down the hall to a little room with dark blue walls. Bella was sitting in a rocking chair with her eyes closed, rocking the little guy while he lay asleep on her shoulder with his mouth hanging open. Soft, classical music played throughout the room.

I gave a light knock on the door while Rosalie ducked away and disappeared down the stairs, out of sight. Bella's eyes snapped open and she smiled shyly at me. She stood up slowly and put the baby down in his crib, covering him with a fuzzy green blanket while I approached her. She turned around and gasped when she found me standing directly in front of her, our bodies barely touching. I reached up, slowly moved her hair off of one shoulder and traced the skin near her collar bone with my fingertips. She shivered and closed her eyes briefly, leaning into my touch.

_Hell yeah_, she was still affected by me.

"You know," I whispered down to her as I ran my fingers lightly down her arm, "I almost had a heart attack when I saw your niece. I thought she was yours."

Bella swallowed and looked down at the ground sadly. "That would never happen," she whispered, shaking her head. "James…doesn't want kids."

I used the tips of my fingers to lift up her chin so that she was looking up at me. "You'd make a great mom, Bella." She turned her face away, twisting out of my grasp.

"Doesn't matter. We already discussed it. We…compromised," she barely choked out in a husky whisper as I took another step forward and pressed my body closer to hers. I didn't really know if what I was doing was a good idea or not, but fuck, she smelled good and my body just gravitated toward her.

"Sounds more like a _sacrifice_ to me," I murmured as I moved my hand from her chin to her cheek, cupping the side of her face in my hand. "I'd give you lots of babies if you were mine again," I whispered as I lowered my face toward hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as my lips brushed _just_ in front of hers – damn near touching – and I felt her hand come up to grab onto my bicep, steadying herself. I was waiting for her to give me permission to keep going when the baby cried out suddenly, startling us both. Bella pushed me away even though he went back to sleep.

"Edward, don't do that," she hissed. "I'm engaged. It's too late," she protested before I snaked my other arm around her waist and pulled her into me again, earning another shocked gasp. Her eyes darted to mine and then all over my face and I watched her pupils dilate in the dim room. There was lust. She felt it. There was no way she could deny it. Her breathing picked up but she still didn't push me away.

Maybe I was being a complete dick for rubbing up against her while her nephew slept just behind her, but at that moment it didn't even occur to me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was imagining that it was _our_ baby in the crib and that it was _our_ house. I definitely wanted it. All of it. With Bella.

Her eyes stayed glued to mine until a buzzing sound burst our bubble and Bella startled, pushing me harder this time, twisting out of my grasp. I stepped back and dropped my arms as she pulled her cell phone out of the back pocket of her jeans.

"Hi, James," she said shakily while I noticed the blush across her chest where it peeked out from her white blouse. Her eyes bounced to me and then back to the ground and her cheeks were all flushed from our contact. She turned away from me slightly, but I could still see her face. "I was just on my way home to change before I come up there and I-" She paused for a long moment then closed her eyes. "Yeah, okay… No, I understand… Okay, I'll see you tomorrow maybe…Mm-hmm, bye." She hit a button on the phone and shook her head at it in disgust.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied, her jaw tight. "He just has to work late on a case…again… It's no big deal." She put the phone back in her pocket and walked past me. "Come on, Emmett should be home by now."

She didn't say anything else about the moment we shared as we made our way down the stairs where Emmett, Rosalie and Mini-B were congregating in the kitchen.

"Edwarrrrrrd," Emmett announced before walking over and clamping a hand on my shoulder, pulling me into a bear hug. When he let go, his eyes darted to my arms where he sort of stared. "So, long time, no see… Holy shit! Is that Bella on your arm?"

I looked over to Bella who was leaning against the kitchen counter, looking down at her hands. Her cheeks flushed red again, as Rosalie bumped her shoulder and wiggled her eyebrows at her. Bella smacked her shoulder playfully, rolled her eyes and turned around to get something out of the refrigerator, giving me a prime view of her luscious, tight ass.

Emmett snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Hey, eyes up here, bro. That's my sister's ass you're staring at."

Bella's head whipped around and she looked at me in shock. I winked at her before she went back to grab a couple of bottled waters out. Emmett and I talked for a few minutes about the Police Academy until Bella grabbed her purse and keys off the kitchen table. She cleared her throat. "You ready to go back?" she asked me.

Mini-B ran into the room and hugged onto my legs. "Bye, Unca Eddie. I'll miss you bunches."

I bent down and picked her up into my arms and she wrapped her legs around my waist, giggling.

"I'll come by and see you again sometime, okay, Mini-B?"

"Okay, Unca Eddie Ska-getti," she smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She turned in my arms to look down at Bella. "Auntie Bella, can he come ova insteada Mista James? I don't like Mista James and daddy says he's a dickhead so can you make him go away?"

My jaw dropped, as did everyone else's. Emmett winced when he looked at Rosalie and Bella. "Sorry," he squeaked, shrugging. Bella huffed and shook her head at him and walked toward me, taking Mini-B from my arms.

"Bye, baby Lily-bug," Bella told Mini-B. "I love you bunches, and I'll see you on Monday, okay? And don't say _dickhead_ anymore. It's not a nice word." She tried to scold without laughing before she set Mini-B down on the ground. "Come on, you," she told me as she walked away, punching Emmett hard in the arm.

He looked back at me and wiggled his eyebrows before nodding toward Bella's retreating form. I shrugged and whispered, "I'm working on it," as I walked past him. He grinned broadly and gave me the thumbs up as I followed Bella out the door.

The ride back to the bakery was mostly quiet, except for the radio. I did learn that Bella lived by herself in Port Angeles, and James lived and worked in Seattle. Bella said she bought the bakery when she moved to Port Angeles and that she had two assistants who'd already gone home way before I showed up – Bree and Siobhan.

Bella pulled up behind my car and we sat in awkward silence as the engine purred.

"Fancy car," she said finally. "What happened to the Nova?"

"Sold it. I'm glad I got to see you today."

Bella didn't answer, looking down at her lap. "Oh, I almost forgot," she said, reaching into her purse and pulling out a cream colored envelope with a purple ribbon on it. _Fuck._ I knew what this it without even opening it.

She handed it to me and shrugged. "You don't have to come, but I have a couple extra invitations, so…"

I took the offending object and tapped it a couple times on my knee.

"I take it Emmett doesn't like James either, huh?" I asked.

Bella leaned her head back against the car's headrest and sighed. "Understatement of the century."

"Hmm. That must be hard to deal with."

"You have no idea," she said as she looked up at the roof of the car.

"Maybe it's a sign."

She scoffed and hit a button on her door's console and the door locks flipped up with a beep. "Alright, _Alice Jr_., time for you to go now," Bella laughed. She leaned up against her window with her head in her hand, her elbow resting on the window ledge.

I smirked back at her and pulled out one of the tattoo-covered business cards from my back pocket. Then, grabbing a pen from her center console, I jotted my cell number on the back before handing the card to her.

"Call me if you're in the area," I told her. "I'll take you to lunch. Or dinner if James cheeses out on you again."

She rolled her eyes and snatched the card out of my hand. "He can't help it if he's busy," she said in his defense.

"Well," I sighed. "If you need anything, or just need to talk, I'm here for you. Just call me."

There was another long pause where I should've gotten out of the car, but I just couldn't do it.

"Bella, what happened at Emmett's house, I-"

"It can't happen again," she said firmly. "I told you I've moved on. Sooner or later, you're just gonna have to accept it." Her eyes flicked down to my tattooed arm again and then out her window. Even after all these years I could tell she was lying. Her face always gave her away, just like now.

She wasn't over me.

It gave me hope. After all these years she still wanted me.

"Okay, I can try to accept that," I lied and leaned over to grab the box of cupcakes from behind her seat. Her body became rigid and her breathing picked up just enough that I noticed, so I took my time grabbing the box in my hand. Our bodies were _so_ close.

"Good," she breathed, watching my every move.

My lip pulled up on one side as I smirked at her and exited her Mercedes, noticing the blush that danced across her neck and chest. I closed the door and walked back to my car with a new spring in my step.

This wasn't the end. Not by a long fucking shot. I had a little less than two months to try to get her back. Now I just had to come up with a plan.

* * *

**A/N: It's ON now... see you all soon. Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. I'm just playing with the characters.

**A/N: So...I wrote these next two chapters months ago, but in light of recent *cough* events, I've gone back and toned them down. A lot. Still, if you don't feel comfortable reading on after this or the next chapter, I'll completely understand.**

* * *

Chapter 15

_Your defenses were on high  
Your walls built deep inside  
Yeah I'm a selfish bastard  
But at least I'm not alone  
My intentions never change  
What I wanted stays the same  
And I know what I should do  
it's time to set myself on fire_

_Was it a dream?_  
_Was it a dream?_  
_Is this the only evidence that proves it_  
_A photograph of you and I_  
_A photograph of you and I_  
_A photograph of you and I... in love..._

_**Was it a Dream? ~ 30 Seconds to Mars**_

* * *

Once I pulled my car onto the ferry back to Seattle, I texted Alice.

**What's Bella's number?**

It took a few minutes for Alice to reply.

**(206) 555-9130. Should I even ask why?**

Smirking, I saved the number into my phone before texting Alice back.

**Trying to get her back.**

A minute later, my phone pinged again.

**OMFG ARE YOU SERIOUS? :))))))))) When are you going to call her? Can I be there? Asdfhljlk can't even type rn I'm so frigging excited!**

I shook my head and laughed. Obviously Alice was all for my plan.

**First let me text her. If she doesn't tell me to fuck off and die, I'll let you know.**

As I was contemplating what to text to Bella, or if I should just call her, my phone pinged again with another message from Alice.

**She won't tell you to fuck off and die. OMG, hurry up. This anticipation is KILLING me. Bye.**

I took a deep breath and started typing. Before I could think about it too much, I hit send.

**So…Lunch or dinner?**

The minutes ticked by so fucking slowly. Finally, her reply came.

**Who is this?**

**It's Edward.**

**Alice gave you my number didn't she.**

**Yup.**

I was expecting another message, when my phone started ringing instead. It was Bella.

"What's the matter?" I asked playfully. "Can't decide?"

"_Edward,"_ she scolded. _"If James finds out you're texting me, he won't be happy about it. Especially if he thinks I'm screwing around, which I'm not, but still…_" she rambled, sounding worried.

_Shit. I didn't mean to make her feel guilty._ I just wanted to talk to her. And now that I had her number, it was like waving a crack in front of a Whitney Houston.

"Look," I reasoned. "I just want to have lunch one day soon. Just lunch, and I promise, I'll be on my _best_ behavior," I lied, crossing my fingers and smiling. Sure, I'd _try_ to be good, but with Bella it was like I couldn't help myself. It took a good solid minute before she gave me an answer, and I sweated every second of it.

"_Um…I guess that's okay, then,"_ she agreed. _"How about Thursday? It's the slowest day of the week for me, and Bree will be here. She's single, you can meet her."_

I shook my head and laughed through my nose. Nice try at pawing me off on a friend. "Yeah, Thursday's good for me too."

"_And I'm bringing Lily along with us_," she added. Ah, another buffer. Smart girl.

I rolled my eyes. It's not that I didn't want Mini-B going along; I just didn't want Bella to feel like she couldn't be alone with me. Or maybe it was _because_ I just wanted her to want to be alone with me. Whatever. Either way, I was just glad she hadn't shut me down completely.

"That sounds good to me," I agreed. "I'll be there at your shop at eleven."

"_Okay."_

"Hey, Bella?"

"_Yeah?"_

"Remember all the phone sex we used to have?"

Bella groaned and hung up on me.

I snickered at myself at first, but that was actually pretty stupid of me, because now I was thinking about it all the way back home.

.

.

.

The next day, I fucking strolled into the tattoo shop, whistling like a fool. I'd had the best sleep _ever_ since the day after my visit to Port Angeles, even with the vivid sex dreams of Bella.

I walked right up to where Jasper was bent over sketching at his table, grabbed his face and kissed him on the cheek. He shoved me away and gaped at me.

"What the…fuck is wrong with you?" he sputtered looking horrified and wiping his cheek off with the sleeve of his brown plaid shirt. He was acting like I'd just smeared shit on the side of his face and it made me laugh harder.

"Nothing, man, I'm just happy that's all," I smiled.

He eyed me warily. "_You?_ Happy? You're _never_ happy to work on a Saturday. What the fuck's gotten into- oh shit…you saw Bella, didn't you?" Suddenly he was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Yup." My smile matched his as I leaned back in my seat and propped my feet up on a client chair.

"Man! You're fucking glowing! Demetri, do you see this shit? Edward Cullen actually looks happy for once!"

My normal response would've been to tell him to go fuck himself, but instead I laughed and folded my hands behind my head. "Yeah, man. It's crazy how different I feel today. I don't know why."

He shook his head and went back to his sketch. "You're still in love with her, you dumbass. Just fucking say it already. Jesus."

I smirked at him. I knew I still loved Bella. But what I didn't know, was how all this was going to work out. At the end of the day, Bella was still planning on marrying the asshole and I felt like time was just not on my side. It made me anxious and worried.

There were so many unknowns.

What if she still hated me after I told her about what really happened with Lauren?

What if she was even more pissed that I'd made her think I didn't want her all these years?

What if she forgave me and still married James?

What if she didn't want me anymore at all?

I had to push those thoughts away and keep telling myself to go with my gut. With my heart.

.

.

.

The next few days flew by as I anticipated my lunch date with Bella on Thursday.

When I was locking up the shop at around eleven on Wednesday night, a familiar male voice caught my attention. I turned my head to the side and stopped at what I saw. James – Bella's James - was coming out of the Japanese restaurant next to my tattoo shop…with a leggy brunette…that definitely was _not_ Bella. The woman giggled as he leaned in and whispered something into her ear.

_Working late, eh James? You fucker._

I just had this feeling that there was some rotten shit in Denmark.

Then, just like a car wreck, he pushed her up against the building and attacked her mouth with his.

My jaw dropped.

I stopped breathing.

Rage burned deep inside of me and I was about to walk over and confront him when he suddenly pulled away from her and reached into his pants pocket. He glanced at his phone briefly before shoving it back into his pocket and taking the brunette by the arm and jumping into a red Ferrari a few feet away.

I turned away and pulled my grey hoodie over my head, stalking away down the sidewalk.

.

.

.

I showed up fifteen minutes early to Bella's shop, jumped out of my car, and ran up the sidewalk and through the door.

"Unca Eddie!" Mini-B greeted me with a cheesy grin. She jumped off her chair-perch and ran around the glass display counter, while a short young girl with long, braided black hair and dark eyes watched us in surprise. Another customer came in right behind me as I scooped Mini-B up, resting her on my hip and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Man, it was weird how I actually missed this little girl in only a few days.

"Unca Eddie, I made you a pitcha, and I baked you a cuppy cake too. I pomiss, I wash-ded my hands, okay?"

"Okay, Mini-B, I trust you," I laughed. A throat cleared to the side of us. I thought it was the chick with the braids but she was on the phone with her back to us, immersed in conversation. Bella was leaning against the display case in a casual looking plum-colored dress with cap sleeves, and long brown leather boots with a heel. It wasn't a short dress- it stopped a few inches above her knees, but her legs were really long and lean and my eyes were glued to them.

Fucking hell. Was she trying to give me a boner in front of a four-year-old?

I set Mini-B down and walked over to Bella, giving her another appraising look and blowing out a long breath. She looked away, the top of her chest and her cheeks darkening immediately. She shrugged on a dark-brown leather jacket, still trying not to meet my eyes.

"Unca Eddie, you hafta give Auntie Bella a kissie too…"

Damn, I loved that kid. Was it too early to buy her a car?

I looked down at Bella as she squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. "C'mon Auntie Bella," I murmured with an amused smile. "I hafta give you a kissie too…"

"No way," she said sternly, finally looking up at me.

"Auntie Bella…kissie…" Mini-B continued.

Bella glared at her niece then closed her eyes and let out a breath through her nose. "_Fine…_" she groaned. "I'll give you a kiss on the cheek, but that's it."

"Fine," I smirked and turned my head as I bent down to her level. I could see Bella still out of the corner of my eye.

Just as she was about to touch her lips to my cheek, I turned my head at the last second and caught her lips with mine. I expected her to pull back, but surprisingly she didn't. She froze. I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer, but she turned her head and wiggled out of my grasp. I'd forgotten about everyone else in the room until I heard Mini-B giggle beside us. I looked down and smiled at her just as Bella smacked me on the arm.

"Damn it," Bella hissed, actually looking pissed. "I thought you said you were going to behave!" I could still taste her minty lip balm on my lips, still feel them buzzing. I wondered if she felt the same. "Ugh!" She pushed me away from her, grabbed her purse from behind the counter and stalked out of the shop.

Mini-B was still giggling up a storm as she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the front of the shop. Bella stood on the sidewalk staring at my car and I quickly realized that we couldn't take my car – since there was no car-seat. We walked around to the back of the building to get into Bella's Mercedes. I insisted on driving and surprisingly, she didn't fight me.

After a short drive, we arrived at the restaurant and were seated in a little round booth near the side windows. Mini-B and I sandwiched Bella in between us.

We ordered our food and I had to laugh at how much Mini-B and Bella were alike. They both ordered Mushroom Ravioli and Sprite, and they both laughed the same way when I said something funny, with a little snort at the end. The only difference between them was that Mini-B was loud like Emmett when she talked and could burp like a grown man, something she said she'd learned from her daddy, whereas Bella was quiet and reserved. Or at least…she was now. Back when we were together, Bella was so much more animated and ridiculous. It was like she'd become a different person.

She reminded me that I had to watch what I said in front of certain four-year-olds that were present.

"Yeah, yeah…I promise not to say the word '_dickhead'_," I told her, making Mini-B laugh so hard that Sprite actually came out her nose. Bella tried her hardest not to laugh, but failed miserably. I reached over under the table and grabbed Bella's left hand with my right and she stiffened and it took a few seconds before she pulled her hand away.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, her eyes narrowed.

"Friends can hold hands, right Mini-B?"

Lily nodded eagerly. "Uh-huh! Me and my fwend Masen hold hands all da time."

Bella shot me a pointed look as I smirked at her finding her hand again. But again, she snatched her hand away and brought it up to rest on top of the table.

I moaned as I put another bite of my manicotti in my mouth and turned my head to my right to glance at Bella. She was staring at my lips until she realized what she was doing. Then her eyes snapped up to mine and I noticed that her pupils were glassy and dilated. I licked my lips slowly and she turned her head away, scooting away from me until she was practically in her niece's lap.

"Auntie Bella, scoot over," the little one whined.

I leaned over to whisper into Bella's ear, "Yeah, Auntie Bella, scoot over."

"I need to go use the restroom," Bella stuttered. "Lily, can you let me out please?"

"I'll move for you," I told her, scooting out of the booth. I only gave her just barely enough room to get out, making it so that she had to brush her ass up against my groin in the process. It worked like a charm.

As soon as she realized I was so close, she panicked and froze. I pushed up against her again while I guided her past me. She cursed under her breath when she felt me pressing against her, and once she was completely out of the booth and out of my grasp, she shot me a dirty look and stalked off toward the restrooms.

I snickered and sat back down, giving Mini-B a fist bump. We talked about her favorite cartoons until Bella came back from the bathroom, still looking flushed as hell as she stood just outside the booth. I winked at her and she narrowed her eyes in return.

"Scoot in," she ordered. I obliged and scooted in, but only giving Bella about six inches of seat. She huffed and sat down quickly, giving me another dirty look because she knew exactly what I was doing. I laughed and scooted over another tiny bit and she sort of relaxed. Mini-B wanted dessert so I ordered three spumoni.

As Bella was finishing a spoonful of her ice cream, I placed my hand on her bare thigh, just below the hem of her dress. She gasped and dropped her spoon. Mini-B looked over at us in confusion, so I smiled down at her chubby little face and she eagerly went back to eating her ice cream. Slowly I moved my hand up Bella's thigh.

She leaned over and spoke low in my ear. "If you go any further, I will stab you in the balls with my fork. Do you hear me?"

I gave her thigh a squeeze and I know I heard her voice squeak just a little under her breath while she turned her head away. She sat frozen, trying to pretend like I wasn't there, like my hand had moved away from her thigh like she'd requested. But it hadn't. My hand was still in the same spot. After all, she'd only said not to go any further, she didn't say to remove my hand.

"All finished!" Mini-B exclaimed, making Bella jump in her seat. That only caused my hand to graze against the warmth between her thighs. Bella threw her spoon down on the table and jumped out of the booth.

"Okay, lunch is over, time to go back," Bella announced while she fidgeted with her dress, tugging the hem down nervously. She walked over to help Mini-B out of the booth and led her out of the restaurant, leaving me to trail behind them as I paid.

When we reached the car, Mini-B was begging to go to the park, so I told her that we would for sure be doing that. Bella narrowed her eyes at me but gave me directions to the park they always went to. Within minutes, Bella and I were sitting on a park bench, watching Mini-B slide down the twisty slide with two slightly older girls and a little boy the same age as her.

Every time I scooted closer to Bella, she moved further down the bench. We kept on this way until Bella damn near fell off the fucking bench, and I had to stifle a laugh as I caught her.

"You think this is funny? What the hell are you trying to prove here, anyway?" she spat at me.

I put my arm around her neck and traced along her shoulder with my finger, causing Bella to shiver and close her eyes.

"I'm not trying to prove anything. You're body's reaction to me is proof enough," I smirked and ran my fingers up the side of her neck.

She swatted my hand away. "Proof of what, that you always want what you can't have?"

"The fuck's that supposed to mean?" I asked, confused and a little offended.

"Oh come on, Edward," she said with an eye roll. "The only times you've ever wanted me was when I was already with someone else."

My brows knitted together, still not understanding what the hell she was talking about. She huffed out a breath and continued explaining.

"When I was with Jacob, you threw a fit and started flirting with me. Then when I was with Felix, you tried to make a move on me at the Prom. Now I'm getting married and _look_ at you. You're like a stupid horny dog, practically humping my leg." I shook my head. "Why now, anyway? _You_ dumped _me_, remember? Even though I told you to leave and go to Seattle, you were the one who was trying to get rid of me first."

"That's not it! I still wanted you, even then. I _still do_ want you." She shook her head and looked away. "Bella, if you broke things off with James today I'd still want you tomorrow, next week, and a year from now."

"Right. Whatever," she scoffed, looking back at me with disbelief and disgust. "It doesn't matter anyway. I could never trust you again_._ You hurt me so badly; it's taken me years to get over that. And now that I _finally_ have, here you come, messing with my head again."

I watched her for a moment as she stared off at the playground. A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it away with my thumb. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Bella. But it's not as bad as you think. If you would just let me tell you everything, I-"

"_No. _It doesn't matter anymore. Don't you get it? How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want you anymore." She couldn't even look at me. I studied her face carefully but the answer was there before she even finished her sentence. She was lying; she had to be. She still wanted me, but she was scared of getting hurt again. I decided to change tactic.

"Fine. You don't want me anymore? That's fine. But tell me why _James_ is a better man than me."

"I already told you."

"No, tell me why you love him. What made you fall for him? I need to know so I can let you go," I lied. I wasn't about to let her go anywhere.

"He's smart, funny, and…confident. He knows what he wants," she explained. "He chased after _me_, and I never had any doubt that he wanted me - unlike you who can't ever make up his fucking mind."

"That's it? He's confident? He chased you? Are you fucking kidding me?" Of all the things she could've said – _he takes care of me, he compliments me_, anything – all she could come up with was that._ Rosalie was right. She's not in love with him. _"So you were a game to him then. Is that right?"

She narrowed her eyes at me before leaning over until her face was a breath away from mine. "The sex is unbelievable, mind-blowing even," she said firmly. "He fucks me so hard I can barely walk straight the next day."

Vomit.

But wait. She still wasn't looking me in the eye.

I smirked at her. "You know that I can tell when you're lying, right?"

She backed up and I scooted closer, leaned in and looked into her eyes. "Can he make your nipples hard just by looking at them?" I lowered my eyes to her chest and within seconds…bingo. I smirked again and she started breathing raggedly.

"So what," she said defiantly. "The wind could've done that too."

I licked my lips and looked back to her hooded, glassy eyes. "Why are you trying to fight this so hard?" I placed my hand under her hair at the back of her neck and she leaned into my touch with a pained expression on her face. "It could be fate that brought us back together."

"Why are _you_ trying so hard to force what's not there anymore? And it's not fate when Alice has anything to do with it."

"So she gave me your number - big deal. I could've easily gotten it elsewhere. And what about us running into each other in Vegas? I mean, what do you need, a fucking neon sign? Is that what it'll take? Is that what you're waiting for?"

Bella glared at me. "I'm not _waiting_ for anything. I waited long enough for you, and all you did was break me, over and over."

"Bella," I whispered. "Just let me _explain_."

She jumped up off the bench. "Lily! It's time to go! Now!" she called toward the playground.

Mini-B came scampering over with a disappointed scowl on her face for Bella, then a sad face for me. She lifted her arms to me and I picked her up, noticing how she cuddled into my neck.

"Can I take a nap, Unca Eddie? I tired," she mumbled into my neck.

"Bella, she wants a nap."

Bella nodded, arms crossed over her chest, not meeting my eyes, and led us back to the Mercedes. I buckled a groggy Lily into her car seat before I climbed into the driver's seat.

"Shit," Bella said, scowling at her phone. "Rosalie's not home. We'll have to take her back to my place. It's closer, anyway. Go left at the first light and then after two blocks, make a right."

I followed her directions and soon we came up to an old grey house with trees surrounding it. Mini-B had already fallen asleep in the car, so I carried her into the house and up the stairs to lay her down on Bella's big white bed. Bella came up beside me and placed a purple throw blanket over Mini-B before walking away.

After a minute I turned to follow her, but stopped when something caught my eye on her dresser. It was a frame with the sketch of her and Alice that I'd given her so many years before. She had kept one thing at least. I smiled and left her bedroom to find her downstairs on the phone in the kitchen.

"Well, what time do you think you'll be done?" she asked the person on the other end. "I thought we were having dinner here and…Again? James…I know you can't help it, but…I know, but you said that _last_ night. Well, what if I come up _there_ tonight? ... That late?" She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, I understand." There was another very long pause. "Yeah, okay… Bye." She ended the call and tossed her phone to slide across the tile counter as she turned her back to me.

"You okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she answered curtly.

"Bella…"

"I texted Rose." She changed the subject. "She'll be here in fifteen minutes to pick Lily up and take you back to the shop to get your car."

Slowly I walked forward to her, gently resting my hand on her shoulder. She flinched away. "Don't," she said as she turned and stalked away toward another room that I assumed was either a bathroom or a spare bedroom. She stayed in there until Rosalie arrived while I paced her kitchen not knowing what to do. Once Lily was buckled up into Rosalie's car, Bella gave Rosalie a hug and then went back into the house, slamming the door and locking it.

I looked at Rosalie who was watching me warily. "Don't worry about it," she told me. "She's just upset because she knows you still want her and she's scared. She'll be fine tomorrow. Come on, Loverboy. Let's go get your car."

Reluctantly I climbed into the car with Rose and Mini-B, back to the cake shop. Before I took off back to Seattle, I tried calling Bella just to see if she was okay. She didn't answer, so I left her a message.

"Bella, hey. I just called to see if you're alright before I head back to Seattle… I'm sorry if I upset you… Anyway, I'll be up late if you need anything, or just need to talk. Alright…Bye."

Hours after I got home to my new apartment, my phone buzzed on the coffee table. It was Bella. I glanced at the clock, noting that it was after ten at night.

"Hey," she murmured.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry about throwing you out of my house. That was rude of me," she said.

"It's fine, I know you were upset. Is everything okay now?"

She sighed. No, everything was not okay. "I can't talk to you about it," she said sadly. "I just called to apologize for being a bitch. I'm just under a lot of pressure with the wedding and work."

"Bella, you can tell me anything. Even if it is about your dickhead fiancé." I clenched my eyes shut in disgust.

"Yeah, okay," she scoffed. "Anyway, I'm having everyone over to the house next Friday for a big dinner, and James wanted me to invite you."

"Really."

"Totally his idea. Not mine. Besides, Bree will be there. I really think you should talk to her."

"Stop trying to fix me up with your friends, Bella. I don't want anyone else but you."

"Edward…you have to stop. _Please_."

A long silence stretched out before us. I couldn't stop. "I'll be there. What time?"

"Six."

"Six it is."

"Goodnight."

"Night, Bella."

My phone beeped signaling the fact that she'd hung up.

"I still love you."


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer**: I do not own a thing here. No copyright infringement intended.

Song playing in Bella's kitchen – **Hold It Now, Hit It – Beastie Boys**

**A/N: I've heard some readers/authors complain about putting song lyrics in the story. Welp, too bad. It's in there like Ragu. :)**

* * *

Chapter 16

_Did I say that I need you?_  
_Did I say that I want you?_  
_Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see_  
_No one knows this more than me_  
_As I come clean._

_**Just Breathe ~ Pearl Jam**_

* * *

I tried my best to be patient for Friday, hoping Bella would call me or text me in the days between. But there was nothing.

By Tuesday, I was ready to choke the next person who asked me what was bothering me. As I worked on the outline of some stars on this lady's ankle, my phone beeped with a text. I glanced over my shoulder to see the screen.

It was Bella.

I set down the tattoo gun on my counter and ripped off my gloves to read the text.

**Hi. I know you're busy so I didn't want to call. Emmett wanted me to ask you if you had any openings in your schedule for a tattoo. I told him you're really busy, so if you don't have anything for a while, that's fine. It's no big deal really. Just get in touch with him when you can. Here's his number 206-555-3013. Thanks.**

God, she was so fucking adorable. Even in her texts she was rambling nervously.

**Never too busy for YOU or your family. I'll call him and get him in right away. By the way, what's for dinner on Friday? Please tell me you are making your Chicken Parmesan.**

It took a minute for her to reply.

**Would you rather have Chicken Parm? I was planning to make Steak and Cobbler.**

Fuck, that did sound good.

**Mmmm…yeah, that sounds good too. Either will be great I'm sure. I trust you**.

Another minute went by.

**It'll be a surprise then.**

I probably shouldn't have sent what I sent next. **I like surprises… ;)**

Her reply was instant. **Go back to work. **

I snorted a laugh before texting her back once more.

**Yes ma'am. See you Friday.**

There was no reply from her after that. I understood why she was holding back from me. She didn't want to feel guilty for flirting with me since she was engaged, I could understand that. But I couldn't shake the memory of seeing James with that girl and feeling like he didn't deserve her. Plus she didn't know the truth about our past.

It was time to set shit straight with her. I needed to tell her what really happened at that party all those years ago. If she knew the truth, she might trust me again. If she trusted me again, then maybe things could be salvaged between us and she would forget all about James.

I had a plan- fucked up as it might have been, I just didn't have much time.

I called Emmett and agreed to have him come in on Sunday when the shop was normally closed. He was excited and said that he had something he wanted to show me.

On Friday morning, the day of the dinner at Bella's, I went to the shop to do some paperwork and shit. Alice came in right after me to pick up the receipt book and bring in some cash for the register. She looked like a cartoon zombie with her greasy pink and black hair matted around her pale green face.

"Ali? Are you sick?" I asked.

"No, not at all," she replied sarcastically with a stuffed up nose. "I like coming to work in my pajamas with no make-up on. It's the newest trend. Didn't you know?"

_Down, Satan, down!_

"O-kaaaay… so I take it you're not going tonight?"

She gave me the death glare before picking up the receipt book and throwing the bank envelope on my desk and began to stomp out of the shop. There was no way I would be touching that envelope before soaking it in Purell.

"Ali, wait!"

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to me with a questioning look.

"Rosalie said that something happened between you and James. I need you to tell me what it was."

Alice walked slowly back toward me and plopped down in a chair, scrubbing her palms over her eyelids. She sighed before beginning her story. "It was at a Christmas party that James' family had last year. Bella asked me and Jasper to come."

"I remember that. That was when you said you had a big fight with a friend. You fought with Bella?"

She nodded. "James cornered me in the back yard of his parent's house when I'd gone outside to throw a trash bag of bottles away. He was drunk, but still…anyway he took me by surprise and started asking me if I'd ever thought of having a threesome with him and Bella."

"Are you fucking serious? What did you say?"

"I told him no, and to get the hell away from me. He never touched me, but the stuff he was saying was just…_ew_. Anyway, I tried to tell Bella about it, but she swore up and down that he would never say something like that and that I was just saying it to be a bitch since she knew I didn't like him."

"Well, I believe you. The guy is a fucking douche," I told her.

She shuddered in disgust –most likely remembering that night- before hopping up and walking out of the shop. That was typical Alice. She never really said goodbye, she'd always just take off.

Jasper texted me right after that to say that he and Alice were a no go for the night. That left me alone with Bella, James, Emmett and Rosalie for the dinner.

By the time I pulled up in front of Bella's place that evening, I was a nervous fucking wreck. I was a half-hour early and there were no other cars there besides mine and Bella's. As I approached the house, I could hear loud music thumping from inside. I knocked but there was no answer, so I tried the door handle. It was unlocked. I shook my head, not liking the fact that she'd left the door unlocked. Sure this was a decent area, but still…

As I entered the foyer and looked toward the kitchen, I could see Bella moving about, barefoot in dark skinny jeans and a tight navy blue tank top while the music boomed throughout the house. I looked down at my navy blue dress shirt and my dark jeans and laughed at the fact that we matched.

I probably should've made my presence known, but instead I took a second to really look around this time. The place was decorated simply with earth tones and pops of muted color here and there. Her fireplace mantle was filled with pictures.

The first one that caught my eye was one that was obviously from Emmett and Rosalie's wedding. It was just Bella, Charlie, Rosalie, and Emmett, standing on the steps of the Forks Justice of the Peace. Rosalie looked to be about five months pregnant in her long white dress, and Emmett looked like he had just won the lottery; grinning from ear to ear with deep dimples in his cheeks. Bella stood between Charlie and Emmett in a short yellow dress, smiling shyly while Charlie kept his arm around her, beaming with pride.

The next few pictures were of little Lily- some of them from when she was first born, then one of Bella holding little Riley as a baby, and finally a picture of Alice and Bella, at Alice and Jasper's wedding. She was smiling in each picture, but didn't really look…happy. I opened my wallet to compare the pictures on the mantle to the one of us from High School. The difference was striking. In the picture in my wallet, the one where I held her in my arms, her smile was bright, her eyes twinkling. I looked up at the last picture on the mantle that I'd purposely saved for last. It was one of Bella and James and it looked like they were at some party.

Bella looked like a completely different person, just a shell of the girl in my wallet. The girl in that frame was definitely not happy.

I turned my focus to the oblivious girl in the kitchen, rocking out to some Beastie Boys song. Slowly, I entered the kitchen to find Bella with her back turned toward me, stirring something in a bowl. I chuckled a laugh as she rapped along with the music, knowing all the words.

"Smells really good!" I yelled over the music.

Bella turned quickly and gasped, throwing a hand up to her throat as she looked at me with wide eyes.

"Jesus! You scared the fuck out of me! Don't you knock?" she yelled, her face completely white. I smiled as she reached over to the iPod dock and turned the music down.

"You left the door open. Can't say I'm very happy about that," I scolded with narrow eyes. "Besides, I did knock, not that you would even hear it over the music."

She rolled her eyes and reached over to the other side of her, grabbing a glass of white wine and taking a long sip. She looked over to the counter area where I was standing. Slowly she walked toward me and reached just past my left arm to pick up her cell phone. She glanced at it and hit a few buttons before cursing under her breath.

"Em and Rose aren't coming," she mumbled. "Riley's fussy and Emily's got a tummy ache. Alice and Jasper have the flu…which I know is bullshit."

"No, I saw Alice today. She looked like hell."

"Oh," Bella said, obviously feeling guilty for saying otherwise. "I guess… it's just us three, then."

"Yaaaay!" I exclaimed sarcastically, thinking of the fact that I was now the fucking third wheel. Bella swatted my arm and snickered, turning on her heel to go back to her bowl. I walked up behind her and peeked over her shoulder. The bowl was filled with something purple and sweet. "Is that what I think it is?"

She unconsciously leaned back, pressing into my chest ever so slightly. "Mm-hm. Berry Cobbler."

"I thought James was allergic to berries."

"He's only allergic to _strawberries_. This has raspberries, blueberries, and boysenberries."

Just to be a shit, I reached over her shoulder and dipped my finger into the bowl. Then I brought my finger up to my mouth, making sure to graze her neck with my forearm before I stuck my finger in my mouth.

"Mmmmm…" I moaned in her ear.

The blush on her chest was instant, her cheeks pink within seconds. Her breathing became ragged. "James will be here any minute," she said breathlessly as she pushed me away with the side of her shoulder and moved to the other side of the room.

I leaned back against the sink and drank her in. Fuck, she could make a pair of jeans look good. Plus she had pulled her long hair into some kind of messy bun, leaving her neck exposed to me. She knew that drove me fucking crazy when we were dating. Was she doing it on purpose? Probably not.

She brought the salad bowl and dressings to the table, checking her phone every ten seconds, before finishing up the cobbler and putting the baking dish into the oven. Bella offered me a Heineken out of the fridge and directed me to sit down at the table while we waited for James. It was twenty minutes past six when her cell phone rang.

I listened while she spoke shortly to the caller. "That's fine. James… Mm-hm… Yup… You too. Bye." She hit a button and tossed the phone on the counter while she stared at the wall across from her. "James isn't coming either. He has an important meeting to go to. Came up at the last minute," she said tersely before grabbing another bottle of wine and uncorking it. She started to swig that down too before I walked over and took it from her.

"Come on, let's eat," I urged her with a smile.

She nodded and reached into the refrigerator to grab another Heineken for me.

We sat down at the high, pub-style table and dug into our food. I noticed that Bella wasn't eating much whereas I was eating like it was the last meal on earth. I couldn't help it, everything just tasted so fucking good. By the time I was on my second helping of salad and twice-baked potato, I noticed that Bella was on her third glass of wine. We had good conversation – she mostly asked about what tattoos I had done that day, and what the meanings were to the clients, etc.

"So what will your name be?" I asked her.

"What name?"

"Your married named," I clarified.

"Um…Gella," she mumbled, so low that I barely even heard it.

"Did you say, _Gella_?" I raised my eyebrows.

She scowled at me.

"_Gella!?_" I shrieked.

She started pouring her fourth glass of wine, finishing off the rest of the bottle.

"You're telling me, your name will be…_Bella Gella_?" I tried not to laugh, I mean really fucking tried.

Just when I thought she was going to nut-punch me, she started cracking up and hid her head behind her hands as she laughed hardily.

"_I know_," she groaned. "I think maybe I'll just keep my maiden name."

"Or maybe just don't get married at all," I countered with another raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes and got up from the table, swaying a bit on her still-bare feet. I rose as well and started to help her clear it. Bella had just walked across the hardwood floor from the fridge, back to the dining room table. She was holding the large glass salad bowl off to the side with her left hand while she picked up some silverware off the table.

Suddenly I felt as if the night was coming to an end, time was running out. I sat back down in my chair and finally just blurted it out before she'd have a chance to stop me again.

"I never slept with Lauren."

Her surprised brown eyes snapped up to mine as she stood frozen in her spot. "Wh-what did you say?"

"_Nothing_ ever happened with Lauren," I began, looking her dead in the eyes. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time, all these years. You never let me talk about it. But I swear to you, _nothing_ ever happened. I'm sorry for lying, it was stupid of me."

She shook her head, scoffing. "You really expect me to believe that you purposely lied about something like that?"

All I could do was keep my eyes locked on hers, silently imploring her to see the truth in them.

Bella's face became white as a ghost. She stumbled backward slightly, and the glass bowl tipped and fell off her upturned palm, crashing to the floor, pieces scattering everywhere. Bella didn't move. She stood with her arm still outstretched to her side like a porcelain statue, gaping at me in shock. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again before looking down at the mess on the floor.

"Shit," she whispered as she started to take a step.

"No, don't move!" I yelled, jumping up and moving to her. Her feet were bare whereas I had shoes. She willingly let me pick her up and carry her into the kitchen to set her down on top of the counter. She sat there in a daze, staring at the ground while I scrambled about the room looking for a broom and dustpan.

"It's hanging from the back of the pantry door," she mumbled, still staring at the floor below her like a catatonic person.

I found the broom and began sweeping up the mess, glancing at her often. She didn't move an inch until I had the last bit cleaned up and thrown in the trash. Jumping off of the counter, she went to the refrigerator, pulled out a bottle of tequila. At this fucking rate, she'd be passed out in twenty minutes and dead to the world. Swiftly, I stalked toward her and swiped the bottle from her hand.

"Bella, we need to finally talk about this. Please, I…_Fuck!_ I need to know what you're thinking!"

She was quiet for a long time so I set the bottle down where she couldn't reach it and went to stand before her. I took one of her hands in mine and tilted her chin up with my other hand, making her look at me.

"What really happened that night?" she asked. I watched her for a moment, noticing the sadness in her eyes. The timer on the oven went off, startling us both. I released her chin and grabbed the oven mitts from the top of the stove. After taking the cobbler dish out, I decided that she really needed to be sitting down for this.

I took her hand and led her back to the table. Once we were both seated, I began. "That night, at the party, it's true that I was in the bathroom. Lauren barged in on me when I was washing my hands. She puked all over my shoes and I helped her find the toilet so she could finish puking. That's it. I left the party after that. Nothing else happened." I still had her hand in mine and unconsciously, I intertwined our fingers.

"Why?" she whispered, looking down at our laced fingers. "Why did you do that to me? Why lie about the whole thing? I don't get it!" Her voice cracked at the end.

I shook my head and sighed. "My dad was putting all kinds of shit in my head, telling me to dump you before we ended up miserable like him and my mom. I know now that it was fucking stupid of me, but I was scared that he might be right, ya know? He had me so convinced that we were too young and bound to fail as a couple. So I tried to break things off with you, and when you weren't taking the hint, I… I panicked. The only thing I could think of was to lie to you about the party because I knew you wouldn't want to be with me after that."

Tears fell from Bella's eyes and her hand began to shake in mine. I couldn't fucking take it anymore. Sliding my chair back slightly, I pulled her toward me.

"Come here," I said softly. At first she resisted, shaking her head as she began to sob. "Please, baby, come here," I tried again, tugging her harder. One minute she was telling me no with her head, and the next, her chair slid back abruptly and suddenly I was cradling her in my lap while she trembled with silent tears. Her arms were pulled into her chest instead of around my neck where I really wanted them. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so, so sorry."

We sat that way for a minute or so when suddenly she sat up and pushed hard at my chest, glaring at me through red watery eyes.

"Why _now_?" she demanded. "Why didn't you tell me about this before? Years ago! You could've saved us all this…regret, saved me the torment!"

I closed my eyes. "I _tried_. I tried to tell you that day, but you wouldn't listen. I've tried to tell you so many times, but you always shut me up. You're so stubborn!"

"Oh, so now this is my fault?" she screeched, another fat tear rolling down her cheek.

"No," I said firmly, wiping the tear away as I gazed at her gorgeous, angry face. "This is all completely _my_ fault."

She crossed her arms over her chest as I rubbed her back lightly. "Ugh. I can't even believe this shit!" she huffed as she tried to get up. I held her tighter. "How do I even know you're not just making this up? What if you're lying to me again? How am I supposed to know that…wait. You said Lauren puked on your shoes?"

"Yeah."

"The gray Vans?"

She hadn't seen me at all that day, and I had about ten different pair of sneakers that I never wore two days in a row. How could she…?

"Yeah, how did you know that?"

Her eyes squinted closed. "You _are _telling the truth," she whispered to herself.

"How'd you know about-"

"I was there. I mean, at your house. The day after you left." She let out a puff of air as I pulled her closer to me and she laid her head on my shoulder. "I went there to talk to you, but Esme said you'd already left, that I'd just missed you. I don't even know why I went over there. To punch you in the balls, maybe," she laughed and I smiled. "Anyway, I ate dinner with your mom and when we were done she asked me if I would take out the trash. When I took the bag outside to the cans, I saw your shoes in the trash and the puke smell gagged the shit out of me. I thought maybe _you_ had puked on 'em."

"I wish I could just go back in time, you know? I should've never listened to my dad," I told her. Truly, it was the stupidest thing I'd ever fucking done. Or maybe I was just fucking stupid, period.

"Edward, I just…I don't even know what to say now. I spent so many years…hating you for cheating on me. And now I find out it was all bullshit? And for what? I just…God, this sucks." She put her face in her hands and started shaking her head

"I know. It's been eating away at me for so long."

"I felt like such a fool back then," she continued after looking up at me again. "Because I'd trusted you so much and I never thought you'd…and then you did, well, I thought you did…"

I realized she was just venting to me, getting it all out there. So I let her. Or at least I was prepared to let her, but she didn't continue speaking.

"So, what now?" I asked, stroking her cheek with my thumb. Her eyes closed.

"Edward…I already told you. It's too late," she choked out. "I've already made a commitment to James and I…I'm still getting married. This doesn't change anything." The last part came out as a whisper. She got up out of my lap and walked toward the kitchen again.

My heart felt as though it was being ripped in two, but I couldn't seem to take 'No' for an answer. She really wasn't convincing in her argument anyway.

I followed her into the kitchen and reached over and turned up the volume on her iPod while Bella watched me intently. Slowly, I pulled her into my embrace and she came willingly. I don't know if it was the alcohol in her system that was making her so compliant, or the knowledge she had just gained about our past, but in that moment, everything seemed as it should be.

We gazed at each other and moved slowly as the guitar strummed and the man started crooning.

_It's not a silly little moment_

_It's not the storm before the calm_

_This is the deep and dyin' breath of_

_This love that we been workin' on_

_Can't seem to hold you like I want to_

_So I can feel you in my arms_

_Nobody's gonna come and save you_

_We pulled too many false alarms_

"You're not drunk… are you?" I asked.

She laughed. "We both know that if I was drunk, you'd know it."

Yeah, I knew exactly what she meant. Drunk Bella would have been all over me like white on rice. Well…maybe. Surprisingly, after all that wine, she was just a little tipsy.

_I was the one you always dreamed of_

_You were the one I tried to draw_

_How dare ya say it's nothin' to me_

_Baby, you're the only light I ever saw_

_I make the most of all the sadness_

_You'll be a bitch because you can_

_You try to hit me just to hurt me, so you leave me feelin dirty, 'cause you can't understand._

_We're goin down_

_And you can see it too_

_We're goin down_

_And you know that we're doomed_

_My dear, we're, slow dancing in a burning room_

I knew it was wrong to kiss a woman who was engaged, but to tell you the truth, I just didn't give a fuck. I needed to feel her lips again, show her how I felt, and see that she felt the same. Besides, I had her first, damn it.

Slowly I removed my right hand from hers and cupped her cheek, grazing my thumb across her bottom lip. The hand of hers that I had let go of- went up to my bicep to steady herself as I put my lips just an inch from hers. She knew what was coming and she didn't make a move to stop it. Still I paused just before my lips made contact with hers, giving her another chance to tell me to fuck off.

She didn't.

I moved my hand to the back of her neck and gently pulled her to me, our lips finally meeting. She stood rigid at first, holding back, until suddenly all the passion from the past was there, even stronger than it had ever been. Actually, Bella seemed to be the one pulling _me_ closer. I tilted my head, ready to deepen the kiss when Bella did it for me instead. As if a switch had been flipped, her tongue was in my mouth, desperately seeking me as I held her tightly by the hip.

We both moaned at the contact and as my hand moved down to cup her ass she gasped and pushed me away. Heaving breaths were the only thing that could be heard over the music as she gaped at me with wide eyes.

"Bella."

"You need to go," she said firmly, rubbing her neck and pushing her thighs together as she took another step back.

"Tell me you didn't feel that too."

She shook her head and looked away at the ground. "Edward, please. Don't do this. I shouldn't have…It's just…I can't," she said, covering her face in shame. Of course she'd feel guilty, dammit. Bella was just that kind of girl. She would never cheat on anyone, not even James, even if he was a total slimy bastard. Fuck. I felt like a total scumbag.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'll go."

I turned to leave and when I made it to the couch where my jacket was, I accidentally bumped into the side corner of it and stumbled. I wasn't drunk. Well, not really.

"Edward, wait," she called to me. "You can't drive all the way back to Seattle like that. Maybe…you could sleep on the couch…"

"You don't have a guest room in this place?" I joked with a smile. I mean, seriously, her house was pretty big, and I just couldn't believe there wasn't an extra room in there somewhere.

Bella shook her head. "I do, but it doesn't have a bed in it. I don't get very many guests except for when I watch Emily here sometimes, and she just naps on _my_ bed, so…"

Ah, she was rambling again. Nervous.

"Couch?"

She nodded and went to the iPod to turn it off. Bella picked up her phone off the kitchen counter, then came around to other side of her brown suede couch and grabbed the TV remote, handing it to me.

"You can watch TV until you fall asleep if you want, and the spare bathroom is just around the corner and to the left. Help yourself to anything you need. There's extra toothbrushes under the sink and toothpaste too. Um… okay, I'll just…I'm gonna go upstairs," she stuttered. "Night."

I smiled at her. "G'night."

She turned on her heel and ran through the dining area and up the stairs like a bat out of hell. I snorted a laugh as I plopped my ass down on her comfy couch. Flicking on the TV, I channel surfed for a minute or two, not really caring what was on, when I heard Bella running down the stairs again.

"I um… forgot to give you some blankets and a pillow," she said awkwardly, handing me said items.

"Thanks," I smiled.

She gave me a pained smile and ran back up the stairs again, closing the door behind her. Clearly she wasn't going to say anything else about the kiss, but she hadn't slapped me either, so I figured that was a good thing. Still, I was kicking myself for doing it.

After she didn't come back downstairs again, I kicked off my shoes and socks, and pulled off my jeans, leaving me in only my boxers and my navy blue button up dress shirt. The shirt came off before I went to her spare bathroom to take advantage of the spare toothbrush. After brushing my teeth, I flicked off all the lights downstairs and lay down on the couch, watching TV for a while, waiting for sleep to come for me.

Sometime later, I heard a creaking sound and opened my eyes to see a small figure, creeping down the stairs. It was Bella in stealth mode, wearing only an oversized t-shirt. Since my eyes were already adjusted to the dark, I could see her pretty clearly as she tiptoed across the dark room and into the kitchen. She went into the refrigerator and took out a bottled-water before creeping back through the dining area and toward the stairs.

"Ow, shit! Ow, ow, ow…" she cried suddenly as she stopped creeping and went down to the floor.

I shot up off the couch and over to the wall to flick on the light. Bella sat on the floor and clutched her right foot, inspecting the bottom of it with deep concentration.

"Shit, you stepped on glass, didn't you," I exclaimed as I crouched down in front of her. Damn it, I thought I'd cleaned the floor pretty thoroughly.

"I can't see anything, but I know it's there," she whined. "Owww….fuck."

"Do you have some tweezers?"

"Yeah, upstairs in my bathroom, in the medicine cabinet. Oh….ow, ow."

I bolted up the stairs as if I already knew the way, and into the bathroom. Once I found the tweezers and some alcohol, I ran back down the stairs and set the items on her coffee table. Then I walked back over and picked her up bridal style and set her down on the couch, placing her foot in my lap so I could get a better look.

"Do you see it?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so…hold on… shit, Bella, that's in there deep." It was just a small piece, but only a tiny little corner was sticking out.

"God, it fucking hurts. Owww, can you get it out?"

"Yeah, just hold really fucking still." I pulled her foot up higher, as close to my face as I could, trying to concentrate on the tiny glass piece, and not the glimpse of her red lace panties that were peeking at me in my peripheral vision. Jesus Christ, now was not the time to get a boner while her other foot sat within a half inch of my semi.

I cleaned the tweezers off with the alcohol and she gripped the sides of the couch and held her breath while I slowly extracted the piece and set it down on a magazine on the coffee table.

"You can breathe now. I got it."

She let out a puff of air. Pulling her foot back to her, she inspected the bottom of it and looked back at me.

"Wow. I didn't even feel you pull it out!"

"That's_ not_ what she said," I joked, smiling triumphantly at her eye roll until her shirt caught my eye. It was one of our old Forks High Basketball, practice shirts. But this one was barely recognizable by how faded it was, as if it had been worn every single day for years…_wait a fucking minute…_

"Bella…is that…my shirt?"

"No…"

"Let me see the back." If it had my name on the back, she was soooo busted.

"No."

"Bella…"

"It's just an old shirt," she argued. "No big deal. I'm going to bed. Turn off the light." She got up and started to back away, purposely not turning around as she crept backward toward the stairs.

"If it's no big deal, then why don't you let me see the back?" I smirked.

"Just go to bed!" She continued walking backwards, now on the second step of the stairs. I got up off the couch and continued stalking toward her like a cat on the prowl. "And thanks for helping me with my foot," she added.

"Bella…Let. Me. See. The. Back."

"No," she countered with a raised eyebrow. There definitely wasn't any teasing on her part. She genuinely looked scared that I might chase after her. We were about three feet away from each other as she continued up the steps, still not turning around. I let her get about halfway up the steps before I smiled widely and started chasing her. She shrieked and turned to run like hell. I could clearly see the remnants of my name as she ran up the darkened staircase but I continued to chase her to her room. She tried to slam the door closed, laughing hysterically as I got there just in time to hold it open. The lights were on in her room and she turned and dove under her covers.

"I already saw it, you little liar," I teased as I jumped on the bed and ripped the covers off her.

"Aaaaggh! Get out!" she laughed as I started to tickle her. Tickling was always her weakness.

"Say it! Say it's my shirt or I'll tickle you until you pee your pants," I commanded, trying not to laugh.

"No! Get the hell off me, you crazy jackass!" she giggled.

I stopped tickling her and stared at her with a sneaky look in my eyes. She tried grabbing for the covers again but I ripped them away and growled as I smirked at her.

"Edward…" she warned, trying to look serious but failing miserably. "Don't. Even. Think. About it."

The look on her face was priceless. She knew what I was about to do and that there was no way in hell she could stop me. I narrowed my eyes at her before I grabbed her legs and flipped her over. She squealed in laughter as I straddled her backside and pinned her arms down at her side.

"Ohhh, Swan. You are so dead," I said sternly. It was not only my shirt, but it was the one I had been looking for years ago, and she had lied to me back then and said she didn't have it. _Well, well._

She couldn't stop laughing to even get a word out.

"Hmmm…Well, I think this calls for a punishment. You've obviously been a bad little girl, Bella Swan. What will I do with you?"

"Stop! Stop!" she laughed, the side of her face pressed into the mattress.

Now, if we were dating, I would have punished her with long torturous sex, but we weren't, so I couldn't. Instead, I rolled her back over and watched her as she breathed heavily underneath me. Her eyes drifted from mine, down my chest to my boxers and slowly back up to my eyes again.

"Get out of my room," Bella whispered.

"Oh, no, I think I'll stay _right here_. That will be your punishment for lying to me."

"You _can't_ sleep in my bed with me! No way!"

"Does James have a key to your house?"

"Of course he does."

"Well, is he coming here tonight? Or in the morning?"

"No, but-"

"Then I'm not going anywhere. I'll be a good boy, I promise," I lied.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. We both know that's bullshit."

I held up two fingers. "Scout's honor. I'll sleep on top of the blankets, even."

"No! Get out!"

"Bella…come on! Your couch sucks ass! My back already hurts!

She looked off to her side, considering it with obvious hesitancy. Then finally, she turned and silently climbed under the blankets with her back to me.

I got up and turned off the lights, then lay down on top of the blankets, just like I had promised.

She sighed and relaxed as I looked down at her where she lay beside me. I was thinking about the fact that she'd been wearing my shirt all these years and what that meant when she interrupted my thoughts.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"What does that heart tattoo on your shoulder mean?'

"You saw that, huh?" Of course she did. It was in plain sight when I was digging the glass out of her foot. She must've been staring at it the whole time. "That was my first tattoo. Jasper did it."

"You mean when you first went to Seattle?"

"The very first day."

"But…what does it mean?" she asked, her voice so low I could barely hear it.

"You know what it means, Bella." I heard her turn to face me and I tilted my head to look down at her, using my finger to nudge her chin up so I could see her face. "Do you still have that necklace I sent you?"

It took her a moment to answer. "Yes."

"Then you have your answer," I said, running my thumb lightly over her bottom lip.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now," she whispered.

"Whatever your heart tells you."

"But…this just isn't right. I'm getting married in like a month…I can't…I shouldn't be in this bed with you. Oh God, I'm going to hell. I'm the devil."

I laughed. "Bella, you're not the devil, and you're not going to hell. I'm not gonna touch you again, I swear. In fact, after you fall asleep, I'll go back downstairs and sleep on your shitty, uncomfortable couch, kay?"

She laughed a little. "Okay."

"I just want you to know that whatever happens…whatever you choose…I'll wait for you. Forever if I have to."

"Forever's a long time…"

"I've waited this long, what's a few more thousand years," I joked and she laughed again.

Fuck, I desperately wanted another kiss – among other things, but I knew it wasn't right. She was there, next to me, not pushing me away, and I wasn't about to spoil it. We didn't say anything else to each other, and within minutes she drifted off to sleep.

I woke up on the couch before the sun came up, and much as I didn't want to leave her, I had clients waiting on me in a few hours and needed to get back to Seattle. I made her some coffee and after pouring myself a cup, I got dressed and reluctantly left.

And as I drove back to Seattle, I clung to the hope that maybe I had finally done something right.

* * *

***Gulp* **


End file.
